


But I Thought They Hated Each Other

by Misscar



Series: Warning: Assumptions are bad [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Conspiracy, Dark Comedy, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Angst, Friends spilling your secrets, Implied Past Child Abuse, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Kelvin Timeline AU, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mystery, Not STID compliant, Overprotective Pike, References to Homophobia, Sharing a Room, Temporary Character Death, tarsus, the Admiralty really are evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-12 13:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 75,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misscar/pseuds/Misscar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let's watch what our friends and family really think about us. It will be fun."</p><p>After being married for almost a year, Jim and Spock finally have time to watch the uncut footage from their wedding video due to being quarantined after Jim sort of died for a few minutes. (Don't ask, but at least they are trapped together.) What do their friends and family (and I use the term loosely) really think of their relationship? Also, can our favorite couple survive three weeks of medical captivity with no sex? Actually, can they survive at all? Because things are not quite what they seem. </p><p> </p><p>Sequel to: But I Thought You Were Straight and Why Jim Should Not Write His Own Press Release Ever<br/>This was originally written from September 2011 to December 2012. This is not compliant for STID but oddly enough there are a lot of parallels. So much, it's a little eerie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The (Second) Honeymoon is Over Before It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to: But I Thought You Were Straight and Why Jim Should Not Write His Own Press Release Ever  
> This was originally written from September 2011 to December 2012. This is not compliant for STID but oddly enough there are a lot of parallels. So much, it's a little eerie.
> 
> If you haven't read the previous stories, you should be able to keep up with this with the following pieces of information. Admiral Barnett's wife, Jane, has known Jim since he was a baby and has been a surrogate mother to him. Spock dated Pike before Nyota but the relationship fell apart because Spock wanted to get married/bonded and Pike was a closet case. Nyota knew all along that Jim was not that heterosexual. Unfortunately, she had no clue that she was Spock's rebound. It turns out some Vulcans are really good at lying. She was not that happy when she discovered that fact. (If you find this summary intriguing, I suggest reading the first story in this series.)
> 
>  
> 
> Summary: "Let's watch what our friends and family really think about us. It will be fun."
> 
> After being married for almost a year, Jim and Spock finally have time to watch the uncut footage from their wedding video due to being quarantined after Jim sort of died for a few minutes. (Don't ask, but at least they are trapped together.) What do their friends and family (and I use the term loosely) really think of their relationship? Also, can our favorite couple survive three weeks of medical captivity with no sex? Actually, can they survive at all? Because things are not quite what they seem. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to Teddy Bear for proofreading the original version. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own Jane, but that's about it.

Jim was planning to give Spock the best first anniversary gift ever complete with a luxurious sex field vacation light years away from incompetent crewmembers who keep dropping dead on away missions, homophobic Admirals, intrusive reporters (Jane doesn't count), and angry fan girls who are still just a little upset about the wedding. (There are a few angry significant others in there too, some of the clinically insane variety.)

They were supposed to spend two weeks at the New San Juan resort on Risa in one of the luxury villas. It was supposed to be perfectly private so that Jim may be able to talk Spock into that thing with the body paint and handcuffs again. The villa alone was about the equivalent of a month's salary, even with the extreme discount they were giving to the two guys who saved earth (more than once). Nothing was too good for his husband. Besides, considering his husband's trust fund, they could afford it.

Spock would be fascinated with the replicas of Old San Juan architecture and enjoy the tropical island temperatures. Jim would be happy with the fact that they had an actual rum distillery on the property. If they had more time to actually travel back to earth for shore leave, they would visit the real Old San Juan but it just wasn't possible. Jim had to put in favors from both his pseudo mom and his husband's ex-boyfriend to get as much time as he did. Because everything needed to be perfect, Jim actually began planning Spock's totally awesome anniversary present about two weeks after they returned from their honeymoon. Just the fact that Jim actually planned something in advance would probably make Spock happy. That's one thing his favorite Vulcan doesn't like about him.

Like most things in life, his wonderful second honeymoon surprise was completely fucked up by a combination of Starfleet screwing him over and the universe hating him. First, despite playing the "you know you owe Spock for screwing him over" card with Pike, their shore leave was delayed five days so they could convince a supposedly neutral planet to grant the Federation mining rights to certain minerals that were previously only available on Vulcan. Despite the delay, they would arrive on vacation before the day of their actual anniversary, if everything went right.

Unfortunately, this is his life and everything went to hell quickly. When he says goes to hell, he means lots of dead bodies. It turns out the entire negotiation was a trap. Starfleet was not sure who was responsible yet but it was still a bloodbath. The weapon of choice was some virus that managed to kill almost everyone down on the planet in a matter of minutes except for him and Spock. Jim was very thankful that he talked Bones and Ny into not coming to the negotiations. Whoever chose that particular virus most likely did not know that it affected Vulcans and their bond mates differently. It would have killed both him and Spock eventually, but it took longer. The delay gave Bones enough time to get them off the planet in and to sick bay. Jim owes everybody on his husband's science team a round of drinks for synthesizing the antidote in time for him not to be dead.

The good news is that they're not dead. Unfortunately, they are in quarantine for the next three weeks just to make sure the extremely deadly N4H7d3Q1 virus was completely out of their system and they would not spread it any further. This essentially meant that the absolutely wonderful anniversary surprise wasn't happening. Instead, they get to spend three wonderful weeks in the medical containment unit at Star Base 42 as the rest of the crew got to take their shore leave as scheduled and his ship undergoes necessary renovations. To add to the misery, he had to listen to Bones complain that he was losing quality drinking time to keep an eye on his favorite idiot and his long suffering husband.

Jim personally thinks this 'quarantine' is complete bullshit and this is most likely a punishment for his unedited press release regarding what he really thought of people who are upset about his marriage, 'accidentally' becoming public during another NetLeaks release. He wasn't the one who hacked into the system, so why should he be punished? This was entirely unfair.

"It was a very thoughtful gesture." Spock said in consolation as he ran a finger over Jim's cheek. Jim, finely tired of the extreme boredom told him about the wonderful vacation he had planned. They really needed more things to do if they don't want Jim to try to break into whatever Computer Network he can access. After complaining of extreme boredom, they finally allowed the pair a few comforts like fully loaded PADDs and a few other things for entertainment. Although, for the first two days Jim was to drugged to do anything other than move himself to Spock's all too small Bio bed.

"We will have to go the next time an opportunity presents itself." Spock almost sounded optimistic, for him anyway.

"Knowing our luck we will probably end up at full war with the Klingons the day before." Jim said grudgingly as he fell down on the bed next to his husband. Really, you think they could put more furniture in here other than the beds.

"It could be worse; I could be stuck with Bones. If I'm going to be trapped in a room for three weeks, I'm glad it's with you." Jim said grabbing his husband's hand and kissing his fingertips. A few seconds later the finger tips were replaced with Spock's mouth. Jim knew he was feeling better because of the extreme amounts of lust he was experiencing from just one kiss. Whatever the hell that virus was, did a number on his sex drive. Let's just say baring unconsciousness or being physically separated from each other due to missions and/or kidnapping, this was the longest they've gone without sex during the entire course of their relationship.

"Although, we don't need the private beach front villa for the mind blowing sex part of our vacation." Within seconds, Jim was on top of Spock as they continued kissing. That was really the only possible position because these beds were too small. You would think they would at least put in the full bed knowing that they were quarantining a married couple.

"Stop that." Jim heard Bones say as his face popped up on the video screen complete with his signature scowl. "I don't need to see that. I'm the poor sucker stuck monitoring you two idiots for the next three weeks. If I'm not getting laid on this shore leave, neither are you, Jim." Bones said angrily.

"You are the one who volunteered to stay with us any way. I wasn't exactly planning to get infected by some doomsday virus. I had plans just like you. However, I've always believed in improvising." Jim said before he went back to kissing his husband or at least trying to. Spock was not being very cooperative.

"Like I am going to let some unknown quack watch you two. You would drive anyone else crazy by now. You are the first human to survive this and we don't know how you will react. This is still your fault. It was your crazy ass ex girlfriend who created the super virus." He was personally trying to forget about that part.

"Your heart stopped twice on the damn table. You shouldn't be doing anything strenuous including your husband. Actually, your green-blooded bastard of a husband is the number one thing you can't do. There's a reason why 'private time' supplies were not included in your rations. Keep your hands to yourself." It was obvious that Bones was doing this out of genuine concern and not to make Jim as miserable as possible, maybe.

"Like that's a problem. I've always been creative." Jim said with a wicked smirk.

"As I've stated several times, I may be green blooded however my parents were actually married at the time of my conception." As retaliation, Spock decided to kiss Jim back.

"Stop doing that and that's an order." Bones yelled.

"Hey, I'm the captain here." Jim said sticking out his tongue at the camera.

"When it comes to your health, I am the one in charge. If you don't stop, I will put you two in separate rooms." Bones threatened.

"Like you would," Jim scoffed. "If you take Spock away from me I will just bother you every 30 seconds."

"You're right about that. I don't want to punish myself. However, I can always sell the footage of your amorous activities to the highest bidder. I would finally be able to afford that private cabin in the woods of Georgia." Jim knew that was just another bluff, even if he could feel Spock getting a little upset, for him. Jim was laughing on the inside.

"Don't really care. You are not famous until you have a sex tape. It was bound to happen eventually. I can only delete the security footage so many time's after engaging in somewhat inappropriate activities in the elevator before somebody downloads it to another server before I can get to it." Jim said cheekily. Spock was giving the doctor the eyebrows of death.

"I forgot a threat like that doesn't work on someone who has no shame. We all remember what happen when you proposed. The FFECC was not happy. How about I send the file to your father in law?" Just the words alone made Jim's favorite part of Vulcan anatomy go limp.

"You are a cruel man." Jim said pulling away from his husband.

"If you two horny teenagers can control yourself for the next week and everything checks out medically, I may be willing to deactivate the security cameras for a few hours and let you have the rest of year anniversary present from Admiral Barnett's wife. When I do give you the package, for the love of all that is holy in the universe, don't you dare tell me what you do with it!" His friend said with a shudder of disgust.

"I am not a teenager even by Vulcan standards." Spock retorted.

"You actually looked inside?" Jim asked hesitantly.

"Unfortunately. Thanks to you, I seriously need to replenish my alcohol supply. I can't believe you managed to convince an Admiral's wife to send you new 'toys'. Life was so much easier when I thought you two hated each other." Bones sighed as he placed his palm over his face in frustration.

"Like we ever did, the choking thing was just foreplay." Bones face was probably on his desk right now because he was no longer on screen.

"That's what you get for opening other people's presents without asking." Jim said with a laugh.

"You are going to be the death of me." Bones mumbled as his face appeared on screen again. "In the interest of keeping you from driving me even more crazy, than you already have, I'm going to let you and the ball and chain have the not inappropriate part of her present now. She sent you some old fashion games and hard copy books to keep you occupied. Please use them and stop molesting your husband." As Bones said this, a little door open and a robot brought in the care package that included Jane's signature chocolate chip cookies. She actually perfected a recipe that could stay fresh during long periods of shipping.

"She also sent another version of your wedding video. I've already loaded the files." Bones said roughly.

"What is the purpose of sending a revised version of the first video?" Spock asked.

"I have no idea. I don't think I can sit through something as sentimental as the first thing." Jim said trying to act tough. Spock just gave him a dirty look. Apparently, Spock remembers Jim crying like a baby the first time he watched the file.

"Don't ask me why women do the things they do. If I understood that, I would still be married. She wants you to call her."

"Fine, at least it'll give me something to do since I can't do my favorite thing. Are you sure about the no sex thing?" Jim asked as Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Everything happening in that room of yours is being recorded. Spock, I expect you to keep Jim in line. I will give the file to your father." Bones threatened again.

"Evil bastard!" Jim exclaimed but the screen was already blank.

* * *

  
"Seriously James, how do you get yourself in these situations? Now you're dragging Spock along with you." Jane said laughing as she scolded him.

"James did not drag me anywhere. I had no choice but to go with him in an attempt to prevent certain disaster. Unfortunately, my efforts were unable to prevent such an incident." Spock said in his usual tone. Jim just rolled his eyes.

"Hey, not my fault I slept with some woman who was a complete psychopath before I found Spock. It was also not my fault she was exploited by certain people who hate m- everyone." Jim said in his defense.

"We all saw this coming eventually. You were not exactly the most 'discerning' during the worst of your sex addiction. I think I was one of the few people in the universe you wouldn't have sex with." Why does everyone keep bringing that up? He is a happily married man now.

"You were married and you changed my diapers. That would just be wrong. I think of you as the good mom." Jim said honestly.

"That's good to know. Considering that, you don't need to give your other mother a heart attack. I really don't enjoy finding out from my husband that you died twice." She was definitely giving him the angry mom look. It was nice to get that look from someone.

"I really wasn't that dead. My heart just stopped for a few seconds. It's not the first time." He could feel Spock tense up against him as he said the words.

"Close enough. I'm sure after a near death experience, you won't be able to use some of my present for a while." She said with a knowing smirk.

"Such activities are medically unadvisable," Spock said in reply.

"Do they really think they can keep us in here for three weeks with no sex? This is cruel and unusual punishment. I'm pretty sure this is against three different articles of the Babel convention regarding the treatment of POWs." Jim ended his rant with a pout. Jane was laughing hard at his expression.

"I'm sure the other things I sent will keep you occupied for the next few weeks. I'm so glad I decided to throw the board games into that particular package, even though I knew you would not have time for such activities at New San Juan." Again she was laughing.

"We are so playing the fun version of Twister. I'm surprised Bones sent this in. Oh, the possibilities. Seriously, how did you find a 21st century version of Monopoly?" Jim asked as he started looking through the box of goodies again.

"I hate to disappoint you, but it's a replica."

"I personally would like to know why you sent another version of the wedding video." Spock asked the question they were both thinking about.

"I didn't send you another version of the wedding video. I sent you the unedited footage that I used to create the wedding video. I knew you would both be unbelievably bored during your sickcation. Do you have any idea how many hours of stuff I had to film to get 30 minutes worth of cry your eyes out material?" Jane asked in fake seriousness.

"18 hours and 33 minutes." Jim's mouth dropped in shock as Spock answered the supposedly rhetorical question.

"Actually, it was more than that but that is just what my husband would let me send. There are at least 10 minutes in my interview with 'Uncle Selek' that my husband considers classified. Even with my brand new security clearance, due to being the new Starfleet Spokesperson, I am still not allowed to send the footage. It's not like you don't know the classified bits. I waited until now to send it to you because it took the computer this long to add subtitles to the interviews from your Chief Engineer and the cute little Russian kid. Besides now you have three weeks to watch it." She joked.

"That's okay. Although, don't let Chekhov know that you referred to him as a kid. He is 23 now. We probably do not want to see the special parts anyway." Jim was chuckling internally at the mere thought of what could have been in those 10 minutes. He will try to access the files later, not that Jane or Spock needed to know that.

"How are you handling your new duties in your position as Chief Spokesperson and head of public relations for Starfleet?" Spock asked trying to be conversational.

"As well as can be expected, I only took the job as a personal favor. I've had less than 3 hours of sleep for the last four days after a simple diplomatic mission on a supposedly neutral planet turned into a bloodbath due to a brand new biological weapon and your uncanny ability to piss people off. We are not even 100% sure who you pissed off yet, except for the ex girlfriend. She's claiming that the virus was stolen but we don't believe her. Before that, I was dealing with the fallout from the firing of a certain homophobic, xenophobic, ass of an admiral. He's bitter. Even though Admiral K is finally gone, he's still making my job miserable. At the same time, I'm preparing for the press to find out that Chris is getting married." Jim wasn't sure whose reaction was funnier. He was currently choking on a cookie and his husband had both eyebrows in the air.

"Admiral Pike is getting married?" Spock asked as soon as Jim stopped choking. It's never good when his husband asked for clarification. Jim could feel through their bond that Spock was feeling an interesting mix of sad and furious. Again, this is not good.

"Oh, Fuck! You didn't know?" Jane asked figuring it out quickly from their various reactions. She was always good at reading people.

"I would not have asked for clarification if I was aware of such a fact." At this point, Jane looked furious.

"Stupid bastard, he should have called. I'm going to kill him." Okay, she actually seemed angrier than Spock, if such a thing was possible. Of course, Spock was just furious on the inside. If Jim was not his bond mate, he would assume that Spock was unaffected by the revelation.

"Jane, it's okay." Jim said trying to calm her down, it wasn't working.

"No, it's not. Sorry, I hate to cut this call short but I need to go bust the balls of a certain admiral for being an insensitive dick. I am just glad you didn't find out by the press release coming out any day now. Listen to the grumpy doctor and get better. I'll check up on you in a few days." With that, Jane was gone from the screen. Spock was extremely quiet.

"Don't worry I'm sure she doesn't mean that literally." Jim said after a few moments of very awkward silence.

"His testicles are no longer a matter for my concern. I am sure Shawn would find such a situation displeasing." There was definitely bitterness in his tone despite the use of humor.

"So you're not slightly upset that Pike is marrying someone else when he refused to marry you?" Jim asked, knowing anybody would be a little hurt in a situation like this.

"I have no reason to be upset. If he did not say no, I would have never found you." Spock said brushing a finger over Jim's cheek. He could feel Spock's love for him radiate through the touch. Jim was so getting back at Bones for the no sex thing. After finding out your ex is getting married, you definitely deserve comfort sex.

"Very good answer." Jim said as he pulled away much too soon for his personal taste. "Let's watch what our friends and family really think about us. It will be fun." Jim said with a smile. It has to be better than watching the boring films Bones picked out.

"If you wish, however, I prefer to skip over the file containing the interview with Admiral Pike." Spock was definitely not happy. Jim just hoped it was anger about finding out from someone else and not anger at his ex for getting married.

"Good idea." Jim said thinking it would probably be best to watch that by himself when Spock was in the shower.

"We should start with your dad. I have to know what he really thinks about me." Jim said with a big smile. He really wanted to know. His relationship with his father in law was complicated.

"Very well." Spock acquiesced.

"Do you think Bones will let us have popcorn?"


	2. File name: Interview number 22620412A Ambassador Sarek of New Vulcan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special note: There is some mention of strange Vulcan anatomy as compared to humans in this chapter. Why should we assume that Vulcans would be the same as humans gender wise?

Spock does not understand why his husband of 11 months, 29 days, and 6 hours so eagerly wants to see Sarek's unedited opinion regarding their union. Considering the official video only contains one simple well wish from his father that obviously seemed forced, in Spock's opinion, he doubted there would be anything pleasant within the video file. Spock was 92.7% certain that his father was displeased with their union, even if he would never voice such a thing to Spock. Sarek rarely vocally acknowledged his dislike of Spock's choices and overall life path but Spock knew his father was rarely satisfied with any of Spock's choices. Just the fact that his father kept trying to arrange meetings between Spock and other possible spouses up until the actual engagement siginnified this.

However, Jane Barnett had the uncanny ability to make anybody, including the staunchest Vulcans, confess things that they would not otherwise. If he were completely human, Spock would admit he was afraid to see his father's uncensored views on his relationship with James. Despite being an adult, by both human and Vulcan standards, he still secretly desired his father's approval, even if he rarely received it. Yet, his husband wanted to see this. Spock was starting to believe Dr. McCoy's accusation about James being a masochist. However, Spock cannot deny James anything when he smiles a certain way.

If nothing else, watching the file will serve as a pleasant distraction from the events of the last week. There is an 87.3% chance that this is exactly why James suggested they start viewing the files now instead of learning the fun way to play Twister. (Spock is sure that is a sexual innuendo of sorts, even if it involves a human game for children.)

Of course, James probably assumes that Spock is upset after learning that his former lover of three years, one month, and 18 days was getting married after dramatically refusing to enter in to such a committed relationship with Spock. Yes, it is true that Spock will need to meditate on this matter when James finally falls asleep for the day. However, it is not because he was jealous of Shawn.

First, Vulcans do not feel such emotions as jealousy. Such emotions are illogical. Spock has moved on and it would be wrong for him not to assume that Christopher would do the same thing. He loves James in a way that he never loved Christopher. Spock actually finds Shawn quite pleasant even if he is not pleased with the fact that he was James former lover. To be jealous of Shawn because of Christopher would imply that Spock desires what Shawn has, and that could not be farther from the truth. James is what Spock wants and that is what he has.

No, the real reason for his anger is the fact that he found out about his former lover's pending nuptials from Jane Barnett by accident instead of from Christopher himself. That is completely unacceptable. Even though they did not 'date' anywhere near as long, Nyota always paid Spock the courtesy of letting him know when she entered a new relationship of importance. Despite some animosity in relation to how she discovered his relationship with James, they had a strong friendship again. (Spock was actually looking forward to watching the file involving Nyota's view on his relationship with James.) In contrast, Spock contacted Christopher personally regarding the change in his relationship with James. Yet, he could not pay Spock the same courtesy. This lack of courtesy is the trigger for anger that will require meditation.

Spock should not be surprised, he knew nothing about Christopher dating Shawn until he saw the two walking into his wedding rehearsal holding hands as Barbara Sawyer attacked a couple for the exclusive. Christopher was never good at telling Spock anything for that matter. Why should now be any different from the entire course of their ill fated relationship?

Even if the situation with Christopher was somewhat distressing, there are more disturbing things that Spock must contend with such as the deep sense of loss he experienced 4.9 days ago. Spock felt his husband die not once, but twice. Though he was in another room he felt the light go out of his T'hy'la. He felt James heart stop. He felt their bond begin to fall apart. It was more psychically painful than when his mother died, along with the rest of the planet of his childhood. In the few seconds that he thought he lost James forever, Spock wished for death because the mere thought of being without James was too painful.

He is happy that James is still with him, yet the pain still lingers. Just being reminded of how close he came to losing James was worse than finding out his former lover was marrying someone else. What he told James earlier was true. He was not angry at Christopher for not wanting to get married years ago because that decision led him to James. He could effortlessly live without Christopher. Even during the best part of their relationship, Spock could easily deal with the fact that he may lose his lover one day to the dangers of their career. Yet the same situation with James makes him sick. Jim is the part that makes Spock complete. Spock was uncertain if he could survive losing James. It would be like losing one's heart.

Spock needed to feel James against him. He needed to feel that James was still among the living. He needed to feel the brilliance of his mind. Spock is willing to partake in any activity that allowed James to be nestled in his arms, even if it involved watching his father berate him and having James beg Dr. McCoy for popcorn. (The only reason why he is complying with the doctors request to avoid strenuous sexual activities is for James own well being.)

"Come on Bones it's just popcorn. Please?" James pleaded again but the doctor did not respond.

"Oh come on. You're not letting us have sex. The least you can do is let us have a little popcorn." Dr. McCoy remained silent and Spock could not blame him when Jim channeled his inner toddler. Spock was barely willing to admit to himself that he found this to be infuriating.

"I doubt that the doctor will give into your request for that particular food item at this time. I suggest we start watching the footage." Spock picked up the remote for the screen in the room.

"Fine." James said with an annoyed pout as he fell back into Spock's embrace.

Judging by the scenery and location Spock believes that this particular interview was filmed four days after James proposed to him during the live transmission. This seems peculiar to Spock because the one clip of his father in the official video was from the actual wedding reception. It was obvious that this interview took place in the pressroom at the Federation of Planets General Assembly at Babble. Judging by the conversation, this interview seemed to occur after his father's official interview with Jane Que Public about New Vulcans' position at that year's FGA, the day before the conference actually began.

"Ambassador Sarek I would like to thank you again for sitting down for this interview." Jane said with a smile on screen as she looked down at her special note card PADD.

"It was a pleasant experience considering you did not solicit my opinion about my son's upcoming nuptials like several other members of the press this afternoon. Unfortunately, your colleague Miss Sawyer does not possess such tack. I am here at Babel to conduct pressing business regarding my people, not gossip about the matters pertaining to my house. It is unseemly and illogical." His father almost looked annoyed, for him, as he responded.

Spock was not that surprised that his father encountered such scrutiny at the conference. The public reaction to their relationship becoming public was a mix of anger and unfounded curiosity. This resulted in being accosted by reporters whenever possible, even now. One of the better consequences of the current situation was the press could not bother the couple during their medical incarceration.

"I think me and your father finally agreed on something." James mumbled in response to what he saw on screen. Spock agreed as well with his sentiment, if not the grammar.

"I'd like to offer a sincere apology on behalf of everyone in my profession. At some point, we have gone from journalists searching for absolute truth to celebrity hounds who do whatever is necessary for the sake of getting the most hits. As a profession, we have lost our soul. It's disgusting and I will be the first to say that we've all done it. However, James would be pissed if I aired his dirty laundry all over the Alpha quandrant." Jane laughed but Sarek seemed almost confused.

"I seriously doubt my future son in law can create enough soiled laundry to do such a thing." Sarek's stone faced revealed nothing. On screen, Jane seemed perplexed. James was laughing as they watched. "Now, I know where your sense of humor comes from," his husband mumbled to himself.

"I didn't mean that literally. You're just like your kid. The term 'Dirty laundry' is a colloquialism referring to extremely private things that one does not wish to become public knowledge. I meant that James would be displeased if I discussed his personal matters in such a forum when they had no right to be public. He would feel like he was being betrayed by a trusted family member. Jim doesn't trust people easily because he's been betrayed too many times." Spock could not help but agree with her statement.

"I've known Jimmy since he was a baby. I consider him another one of my children and I don't like seeing other people messing with my kids. I really don't like hearing close minded idiots and busybody colleagues say nasty things about my baby boy when they don't know anything about who he is." Spock looked over at that moment to see James with eyes watering. He claimed allergies but Spock did not believe him.

"Such protectiveness is admirable. You remind me of my Amanda in that way. She was always very protective of Spock regarding those who criticized him for his human heritage." Spock felt James squeeze his hand at the mention of his mother's name. Enough time has passed that it does not hurt as much to remember her.

"Bunch of bigots." Jane mumbled under her breath so low that the microphone barely picked up her words. James was nodding in agreement beside Spock as he watched with their hands still linked.

"I agree with your sentiment. Many of those same individuals are now saying similar things about my son's choice of Bond mate. They have no right to criticize such an arrangement. They actually had the audacity to hold an official meeting on the matter before the delegation left the Enterprise." Spock was shocked to see that his father was upset by this. The only other time Spock heard such a tone from his father was when he was promptly thrown out for choosing Starfleet over the VAS. However, Spock was not surprise such a meeting occurred nor was he surprised to learn that a certain Starfleet Admiral called a similar meeting.

"What did your fellow Vulcans say about the marriage?" Jane asked. If his father was actually there in his presence Spock would in all probability have the same query. Spock knew that those on the colony would almost certainly be displeased by Spock's decision to continuously contaminate the gene pool with his choice of human partner even if his father sheltered him from most of their disdain. During the time between the engagement and the actual bonding ceremony, Sarek never mentioned any direct criticism from his peers regarding this union. Spock wanted to know what his so-called contemporaries actually thought of his marriage. Unfortunately, Sarek did not respond to her inquiry.

"I'm not being a nosy reporter, more like an anxious mother. Somebody has to be the paranoid parent. James' biological mother has 'issues' and I took her place. It's not entirely her fault but she didn't handle her first husband's death very well. Winona refused to seek professional help because she's stubborn just like Jim. I've been the one who has been watching out for Jimmy most of his life. I just want to know what others are saying about him so I can deal with the bastards appropriately later." Spock remembered Amanda having a similar angry expression when dealing with the parents of Spock's various adolescent tormentors.

"Again, I understand such protectiveness. It is difficult to comprehend how those who supposedly live by true Vulcan philosophy can possibly justify bigotry with logic. I have received numerous complaints against this union, although, I have not informed Spock of such. Spock does not need to become aware of such unnecessary arguments. If he is anything like his mother, he will pay no heed to such things. If he is like myself such, worthless arguments will not change his mind." His father said staunchly looking directly at Mrs. Barnett.

"I guess your father is referring to the prejudice that he encountered when he married your mom. I'm sure mixed marriages were not that popular back then?" James asked and Spock just nodded in agreement, not giving too many details.

"What 'logical excuse' did they use to convince you to interfere with your son's private affairs? Obviously it was a bad one considering you are not interfering." Jane questioned. Spock was curious himself, nearly two years later Sarek never divulged anything related to these conversations.

"I assume that was what humans refer to as sarcasm, because their excuses were anything but logical. In addition, my son has inherited his stubbornness from his mother therefore, it would be completely fruitless to talk him out of this marriage even if I disliked his partner. Fortunately, I find James fascinating. He has done many good things for the Federation including keeping my son from letting his grief consume him." Spock actually exhaled in relief at that as his father continued to say nice things about his husband even if Sarek thought Jim's eating habits were barbaric.

"The most common argument for Spock to end his relationship with Captain Kirk was such a marriage between a human and Vulcan would be illogical because of the need to rebuild the Vulcan population. The second most common complaint related to the need to keep the Vulcan race as pure as possible." Sarek said sharply with audible disdain.

Spock was not surprised by his peers' comments only the fact that his father not only kept their opinions to himself but also did not share such opinions. What was surprising was James mumbled "fucking bastard" at the same time Jane said the phrase on screen even if it was partially censored. Sometimes, Spock wondered if the two were actually related by blood due to their similar mannerisms.

"I hate when people use logic to excuse their own prejudice. I guess they completely forgot about In Vitro, cloning, gestational carriers, or genetic engineering." Jane scoffed.

"I find such conduct equally illogical." Sarek remarked. If he were human, Spock's mouth would be open in shock at his father's words. If he was not watching this, he would not believe such words came from his father's mouth. He was happy for the photographic evidence.

"The argument that Spock's marriage to James would be illogical for the purposes of reproduction is equally irrational. For the purposes of reproduction James is actually a much more suitable partner because human sperm is more viable with the Vulcan/human hybrid ovum than hybrids sperm with the Vulcan ovum or human ovum for that matter." His father said completely nonplused as if he was reporting on the weather not revealing very personal information about Spock's reproductive situation.

"Your Dad just told her that you have a few extra girl parts like ovaries. I think your father just broke Jane." James remarked quickly, pointing to a woman who was normally unflappable.

"She seems quite perplexed." Spock said as the Jane onscreen stayed quiet for several moments.

"That's an understatement. I haven't seen her that unnerved since she arrived on Tarsus. She had some diplomat grab her ass on camera and she just continued with the interview as if nothing happened. Now I know why she spent six months on New Vulcan recently working on the Vulcan version of the Kinsey report. This is so unfair. You did not even tell me about you being one of the 11% of the male Vulcan population born with a functional uterus until I asked you about that comment about Vulcan Males being able to have children." James said giving him a hard look while pausing the interview.

"I saw no need until that time to mention the possibility. We do not even know if such an avenue of reproduction is available until my first time. Despite the extra organs, as compared to human men, I still consider myself male. If it was not for the fact that Vulcans are now an endangered species. I would never consider producing a child by such means." The thought of the in vitro procedure, dealing with 10 months of morning sickness, and a caesarean would normally be enough to make such a process repugnant. However, the thought of bringing a mixture of him and James in to the world made Spock willing to deal with such.

"No need to get defensive. I get it and we will cross that bridge when we get there. Besides, you are all male to me." To punctuate this, James grabbed his favorite appendage on Spock.

"Let go of the dick now." The doctor shouted as his face appeared on screen. This caused James to back away instantly much to Spock slight displeasure.

"I hate you. This is what you get for not giving me popcorn. My hands have to be occupied with something." James said in what the doctor refers to as his 'spoiled brat' voice

"You're going to be the death of me. Fine, you can have your damn popcorn if you behave." The doctor acquiesced.

They were now watching the interview again as James happily consumed his salted snack.

"Wait how can—you're kidding?" Sarek just looked at her without saying a word as the reporter continued.

"I thought Spock was just joking when he said, 'Although certain 'male' Vulcans have the ability to become pregnant, the prerequisite events have not yet occurred.' I wonder what the prerequisite event is. That's good, I want grand babies and Richard won't let the girls date until they get their doctorate degrees." Jane said gleefully before going straight into reporter mode again. Jim was just amused by this.

"So how did you feel about their obviously ignorant comments?" Jane asked with no signs of her earlier uneasiness.

"Vulcans do not feel." His father said quickly, most likely trying to avoid the question. He should know that does not work with Mrs. Barnett.

"Your son came over to my house for dinner once a week for nearly three years. The no feeling thing is absolute [expletive]." The last part of Jane's words were edited out by the automatic profanity filter.

"I do not see what my emotions on the matter have to do with animal excrement." This triggered a sigh from the now frustrated reporter.

"You and I both know that the thing about not having feelings is a myth. What was your reaction to your suppose colleagues lack of support for your son's choice of marriage mate?" Spock was sure Sarek would never answer Mrs. Barnet's question as the woman continued to stare his father down on screen for what seemed like minutes even if it was only 42.5 seconds.

"I canceled all additional events that evening because I needed additional meditation to prevent myself from practicing various defense techniques on the rest of the Vulcan delegation. There are so few of us left, it would be unfortunate for someone to accidentally expire during a training practice." Spock wondered who was more surprised at his father's comments Jane who is mouth was slightly perched in surprise with a mysterious smirk upon her lips or Spock himself who probably would have fallen off the bed if he were human.

"I think your father just confess to having homicidal urges regarding some of his colleagues. I thought the same way about Admiral K." James joked as he snuggled closer.

"That sounds like something I would do." Jane said as she regained her composure quickly. "Although, I don't have as much self control as you do. There was this incident at my daughter Mia's school last year where I punched out my fellow soccer mom. No one bad mouths my little girl." At that moment Spock stopped the file.

"Admiral Barnet's wife punched out a fellow parent at a children's soccer game?" Spock asked for clarification.

"Actually, it was a PTA meeting." James laughed as he responded. "'Soccer mom' is another earth colloquialism. The woman said something nasty about Mia just because she did better than the woman's little darling on some test. The other mother actually accused Mia of cheating and Jane was not happy about her false accusations. The woman was on the floor before Admiral Barnett could stop his wife. Don't be surprised, you remember what she did to my mom at the wedding." James was laughing even harder than previously.

"Vulcans do not become surprised. My memory is photographic, it is impossible for me to forget. I had no choice but to administer a nerve pinch on the wife of a superior, as well as, my mother in law to prevent certain homicide." Spock remarked dryly.

"Hey, I wonder if that's on here?" James asked. "I missed the whole thing because I was helping security kick Barbara Sawyer out of the festivities."

"Most likely." Spock remarked before starting the clip again just in time to hear his father reminisce about an incident where Amanda did something similar.

"Your mom was such a bad ass. I wish I met her." James remarked as he gave Spock a Vulcan style kiss. Apparently Dr. McCoy did not find this gesture offensive. Of course, the doctor most likely did not understand that such a gesture for Vulcans was much more stimulating then lip to lip contact.

"As do I t'hy'la." Spock said as he returned the gesture of affection with just a tinge of sadness.

"I am not surprised she did that. It's a mom thing. I wonder how she would have responded to the same idiots who are angry that Spock and James are getting married?" Jane wondered out loud on the video screen. Spock has pondered the same question over the last few years. So much so that he asked his counterpart how Amanda reacted to his relationship with his James. He refused to answer the question on the grounds that the James of this dimension was a completely different James Kirk.

"Even with Vulcans' speed I would not be able to prevent her from rendering at least one of my contemporaries unconscious." The Sarek onscreen remarked darkly.

"Told you, she was a bad ass." Jim said grinning again.

"I actually think she would have found James quite fascinating an intriguing. He is a good man and extremely loyal to my son." Spock could actually feel his husband surprise at hearing Sarek say such complimentary things about him again.

"You're actually okay with this marriage to a human?" Jane asked.

"It would be hypocritical of me to say otherwise." Sarek responded.

"Most people are hypocrites." Ms. Barnett shot back

"Fortunately, I am not people." His father remarked before continuing.

"Love is not something that can be controlled. Love is not logical. It is the most important thing in the universe. It is something that all search for. I know my son has found that in James, even if I initially thought they hated each other." Jane chuckled at that before continuing.

"Why did you think that?" Jane prompted. That is when Sarek recounted the entire choking incident on the bridge.

"I wonder if Jane showed this to her husband?" James mumbled out loud as he grabbed a pillow to go over his head.

"Admiral Barnett knew what happened. Supposedly, serving under you was my punishment." Spock remarked darkly.

"Worked out for me." James said smirking as he pulled the pillow away from his face as he playfully threw it at him. They were pulled out of their private conversation by what Mrs. Barnett said next.

"That was not hatred. That was foreplay. James has a choking fetish." As soon as the words escaped her mouth on screen James actually was choking, unfortunately, it was on his popcorn.

"I can't believe she just told your father that." James said as his breathing return to normal. "He's going to think his son married one kinky bastard."

"I am not surprised. Their bedroom is in close proximity to the guest quarters. The soundproofing on board the ship is not designed for Vulcan hearing." James was now buried under a pillow once more. Spock desired to join him.

"Because you seem actually happy with this marriage, I wonder if you would be willing to help me with a special wedding present. When I got married, a few of my coworkers got together to do a special wedding video. It was more of a memoir. They managed to interview all of Richard and my friends. They even got my father to talk candidly about his feelings regarding my future husband. That segment was filled with threats of castration and other pleasant things if he happened to cheat on me when in space." Jane laughed.

"I would probably convey the same sentiments to James under the circumstances." Sarek remarked.

"Now, that's what I was expecting." James mumbled from underneath the pillow before Jane continued on screen.

"I was thinking of doing something similar. I probably won't get to see you again until the actual wedding, so maybe if you're amenable you can spend a few minutes now?" Jane asked.

"What would I need to do?" His father said without resistance.

"You could always start with threatening to kill your future son in law if he does anything stupid but I'm sure Jim already knows that. Just repeat what we have been talking about for the last few minutes." Jane said honestly.

"I find that agreeable."

"Okay, let me turn the camera back on." Jane said as she grabbed the remote at her side. Spock found her remark unusual.

"[expletive], the camera is still rolling." Jane mumbled.

"There is no need for such dramatics, although, I hope the footage so far will stay confidential." Spock hoped for the same consideration.

"Trust me this video will be heavily edited. I am always discreet. The only person who will see this besides me will be my long suffering husband and the happy couple. The only reason why my husband gets to see it is to make sure I don't accidentally uncover classified material. I never told you about Spock's first boyfriend the entire time they were dating, that proves I'm good at keeping my mouth shut." Jane remarked most likely not knowing that Spock never told his father about Christopher.

"What first boyfriend?"

"Spock never told you about Christopher?" Jane asked. That is when James cut off the interview.

"I think that's enough. I already know your dad doesn't hate me, so there's no need to watch the rest. Though, it will probably explain why your father growled at Pike during the wedding reception." James mumbled that part to himself most likely forgetting about Vulcan hearing.

"My father does not growl." Spock responded.

"Yes he does. Do you want to play Monopoly?" James asked most likely as a distraction.

"I have never played such a game before."

"I will teach you. It's a strategy game. You will enjoy being the banker. There's math involved." Jim said as he got off the bed to retrieve the game.

"That is acceptable."

 

 

 

 


	3. File name: (TS) Interview number 22630512B Elder Selek of New Vulcan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original A/N November 2011: I was originally planning to be very vague about when Jim and Spock got married because I couldn't come up with the day that meant something. However, I finally chose an actual date. I gave it a different significance in this story but I think you will all know why I chose it. Just as in Dear Spock, I don't do Star Dates because they are just confusing. 
> 
> Author's note/rant: Since this story takes place around 2264, all pop culture that existed before that point is fair game even if it was created after Gene Roddenberry originally created Star Trek. I say this now because I once got an angry review for referencing Star Wars in a story when Star Trek came first. If J.J. Abrams can do it, I don't see why I can't. Does anybody else see Jim as the scruffy Nerf herder/tragic hero and Spock as the extremely condescending princess that just lost his home planet in part due to a mentally imbalanced villain who is grieving for his wife?
> 
> Updated A/N May 2013: The lines above are even more ironic now that J.J. is doing Star Wars. Also grab a tissue. When I was proofreading this chapter again I kept flashing back to that scene in the new film and started to tear up.

"I've never played Monopoly before, my ass." Jim thought to himself bitterly after 3 hours of getting his ass thoroughly kicked in the game by his oh so smug husband. His assumption about Amanda Grayson-(insert extremely long Vulcan name that Jim still can't pronounce after nearly a year of marriage but took anyway just to drive the noisy reporters crazy when they tried to pronounce the damn thing during live streams) being the original bad ass was proven right when Jim found out that Spock did play Monopoly before. It was under the guise of it being an 'economic learning activity'. This was downright humiliating. At least during chess, Jim had a 48.32% chance of beating Spock during the game. This was a beat down.

 

At first, Jim thought he would need to be gentle until Spock got the rules, given this was the first time Spock ever played the game, or so he thought. That assumption went out the window as soon as Spock had almost every piece of property on the board. He thought Mia was vicious when playing this game, but Spock was worse.

 

So after losing his shirt figuratively (unfortunately), Jim suggested movie time. Because Bones was evil like that, 90% of their entertainment selections were medical documentaries. Spock was fascinated, Jim was sure this was his punishment for all the times Bones walked in on Jim having sex when they shared a dorm room. Jim could only watch the History of Bloodless Surgery so many times before he got a headache. This was cruel. In the end, they spent the rest of the evening watching the Disneyesque version of Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and Up. (Bones says he only has a collection of Disney animated films because of his little girl. Jim doesn't believe him.)

 

They probably could have watched another family and friends' interview but Jim just was not up to it yet, at least not the ones he already had access to. When Spock went to the bathroom post lunch to take part in his ritualistic 15-minute mid-day hygiene routine that drove Jim absolutely crazy, he decided to watch the last few minutes of his father-in-law's interview.

 

Jim was personally surprised he never had to rescue Spock from being interrogated by his father regarding the fact that he never told him about Chris. Sarek did not look happy at all, as Jim watched Jane on screen explain everything including the very bitter breakup. If Jim thought he saw angry Sarek when he and Jane were discussing the idiots that were not happy about James becoming a member of the family, that was nothing compared to what Jim was seeing now. After being married to a Vulcan for 12 months and dating one for nearly four years, Jim could recognize Vulcan anger quite easily. It was subtle but noticeable and the Vulcan in front of him was beyond furious. That explains the Vulcan version of the middle finger that Chris received during the rehearsal dinner and the growling at the actual reception. Jim was just glad Chris had the good sense not to bring Shawn to the rehearsal. Although, that probably would have been better than finding out at the wedding by seeing your pseudo father figure making out with your ex fun buddy. Considering what happened last year, Jim is not at all surprised that Chris said nothing about the engagement. Due to the most recent (almost) dying on a mission incident, they have been exchanging lots of e-mails. Pike could have said something at any time. Sometimes his pseudo father figure was a complete bastard.

 

Watching that whole thing was enough to put Jim off watching Chris and Shawn's Interview the first time Spock is preoccupied for more than a few minutes. He did spend a few minutes sending Shawn an angry message after dinner when Spock was preoccupied reading various medical journals that Bones had grudgingly supplied Spock with. Jim decided to write Shawn instead of Pike because Shawn couldn't get Jim fired for insubordination if he let his temper get out of control. In addition, Shawn was starting to become a friend now. It's weird that Jim knows more about the guy now than when they were actually sleeping together.

xxxxxx

From: Kirk-SpockJT

 

To: CarawaySA

 

BCC: BarnettJQ; Spock-KirkX

 

Sent: 10/14/2264 22:21:23

 

Subject: Why the fuck did you or your idiotic fiancé forget to tell us about the engagement?

 

So, I'm pretty sure that your new fiancée or your BFF told you about the non-classified parts of our most recent cluster fuck of a mission. The good news is we are not dead and I had the good sense to keep Ny from coming with us. The bad news, instead of sextastic filled weeks on Risa, we are stuck in medical confinement under a no sex ban enforced under threat of public embarrassment. Bones threatened to show the medical observation footage of any 'inappropriate activities' to my father in law before selling it to Barbara Sawyer. You are a lawyer, can he do that?

 

Things are going well, except for the extreme boredom and the fact that Spock kicked my ass at Monopoly. My good mommy sent me a hard copy version of the game in her most recent 'care' package. When I called Jane to thank her, she mentioned a few things about her new job such as the fact that she is getting ready to handle the shit storm created by Chris getting married.

 

I guess congratulations are in order, even if you forgot to tell me. If it was not for Jane's slip, we probably would not have found out until after we read the press release. I'm not mad, but I'm pretty sure my husband is. You don't want to piss off a Vulcan. What do you think about a blender and a couple of bottles of tequila as an engagement present?

 

PS: I don't know why they refer to Pike as the first openly gay Admiral in recent times, like people didn't know that Admiral James Hoover was 'secretly' married to a guy. Even my oblivious mother figured out that her former captain was more than friends with the future Mr. Hoover. Why does everybody assume you are in the closet unless you have a press conference and are featured on the front page of the Federation Advocate?

xxxx

Jim probably should not have BCC his husband but, even if he denied it, Jim knows that Spock has a tendency to get a little jealous of Jim's former 'special friends', even if he thought of most of them has just a means to get off. (Jim is going to put off watching the Jim Kirk ex club file as long as he can.) Considering what Pike did, it is in Jim's best interest for him to be as open as possible about the communication. At least Spock was not completely freaked out by what he said, if his e-mail this morning was any indication.

xxxx

From: Spock-KirkX

 

To: Kirk-SpockJT

 

Time sent: 10/15/2264 01:32:23

 

Subject: RE: Why the [expletive] did you or your idiotic fiancé forget to tell us about the engagement?

 

There was no need for you to send such an e-mail. I am grateful that you did not attack Admiral Pike directly. However, even in friendly communication, if you send your e-mail via the Starfleet system, please do not use expletives in your subject line or anywhere else in the message for that matter.

 

In addition, I still do not understand the human concept of "coming out of the closet".

xxxx

This was Spock for 'thank you for not humiliating me by standing up to my horrible ex boyfriend for me.' Although, Jim cannot believe that Spock not only replied by e-mail but also critiqued his use of curse words in the message. Why is he not surprised?

 

Also, there is no way Jim is responding to that last line. Jim was not sure how to explain the concept to somebody who grew up where sexual orientation does not exist. His father-in-law's colleagues, most of whom had their asses personally saved by Spock, objected to their marriage because Jim was human and not because he was male. Unfortunately, even in this day and age, on earth some were upset about the guy thing. Actually, many of those were the same ones upset about the marrying an alien thing. Homophobia and xenophobia were not mutually exclusive.

 

Jim received a few other e-mails that morning but they were mostly from a certain irritating reporter that somehow managed to get his New Starfleet e-mail address. (In an effort to show everybody that he was serious, Jim decided to take his husband's last name as well, hyphenated of course. Not only is Ny still teaching him how not to butcher his new name, it took Starfleet IT eight months to change his and Spock's e-mail addresses. (Now Jim knows why his mom kept the last name Kirk after she remarried. Bureaucratic nightmare is an understatement.) All e-mails coming from Barbara Sawyer were quickly removed from his account and further messages were to go to a separate mailbox.

 

Checking his e-mail only kept Jim occupied for about 5 minutes after he got through all the spam and Barbara Sawyer stuff. Unfortunately, Spock was too preoccupied with his research material to play with him (not that they would get to do the type of playing he liked because Spock loves him too much to endanger his health).

 

Boredom and an Internet connection always lead to bad things when Jim is concerned. Okay, so maybe Spock now knows that Jim only hacked his so precious test to see if he could actually crack the code and all his classes that semester were sleep inducing. How was he supposed to know that Spock was so touchy about that sort of thing? He has more than made up for it since then.

 

The first thing Jim did was get into his personal computer on Enterprise and retrieved all of his entertainment files. Because if his husband was going to bury himself in a book (journal article, or old research,) for hours at a time, Jim should be able to listen to the best of 20th and 21st century rock. Also, it would be nice to watch something other than Disney Movies or medical documentaries. Jim loved movies that were filled with blood and guts but only if blowing stuff up was involved. Of course, if Jim actually watched one of those movies right now on the big screen, Spock would be cranky because it would disrupt his reading.

 

Jim was not up to finding out what other earth games his husband was better than him at, so Jim decided to keep himself occupied on the day before his one-year anniversary without distracting Spock. Besides its best not to interrupt Spock when he is fascinated with research stuff or anything else that can be read from a PDDA screen. Jane also took mercy on Spock and sent him her preliminary findings from her work on Vulcan sexual habits.

 

For reasons unknown, both ambassador Sarek and Elder Selek personally asked Jane to assist with the interview process along with the Vulcan research team. Jim personally wondered what Jane had to do to get that much trust from either Vulcan. Considering other Spock told Jane things that were too classified to send, they probably had a good relationship. Jim still really wanted to know what old Spock said that was so sensitive that it freaked out Admiral Barnett (then again, most things freaked out Richard). This led to Jim finally finding something to do this morning. He was going to retrieve the interview from the classified archives.

 

It is not hacking if you technically have permission to access the material. It took Jim 25 minutes to find the file in Starfleet's archives system. It helped that it was saved using Jane's usual organizational taxonomy. Normally, it takes at least an hour to find anything useful in that stupid system. The good news, it was classified at a level he could actually see. Technically, he did have a need to know. Although, he doubted anyone in the Admiralty would accept 'wanting to know what your husband's future self really thinks about your marriage' as a justifiable reason for looking at extremely classified material. Jim covered his tracks enough that they probably will never find out that he accessed the files.

 

Jim's relationship with other Spock was interesting. He liked to think of the older Vulcan as the grandfather he never had, who occasionally gave good advice, even if Jim didn't want to take it. Though, most of the time, Elder Selek was busy working with his fellow council members to rebuild Vulcan society, so Jim did not get to see his pseudo grandfather too often. Other Spock's work on the colony included assisting with finding a new planet, using technology to increase the Vulcan birth rate as quickly and safely as possible, bringing historians in from across the Federation to preserve Vulcan culture, and doing whatever he could to prevent all out war from breaking out with the Romulans.

 

This was in addition to passing legislation to protect multi-species children from persecution from the idiots on the planet and guaranteeing all individuals of Vulcan ancestry equal protection under the law. Those that believe in genetic diversity are taking advantage of the fact the human and Vulcans are compatible for reproduction purposes. 13% of the population, under the age of six, identified as multi-species. Apparently, such legislation was needed if people were freaking out about Spock taking a human spouse. Spock did not even twitch an eyebrow when his father mentioned that some of his colleagues were unhappy with the marriage. His Spock was expecting such prejudice.

 

One would think with everything the Elder was doing, he would be too busy to visit every once in awhile but those duties were actually responsible for seeing the old man occasionally on the ship, especially because he didn't want to interfere with Jim and Spock's life path. For the most part, Selek stayed away for that reason. However, as Jim has learned that when Spocks are involved nothing goes as planned. Elder Selek was essentially the De Facto ambassador for Romulus.

 

Because no one else would take the job, the Enterprise was forced to become a ferry service way too often for Jim's personal taste he got to see the other Spock every few months. Jim nearly fainted when he found out that both Spocks could be in a room together without the world ending. Doc Brown was wrong. (He made a mental note to watch the original Back to the Future trilogy again sometime during this captivity.)

 

Jim has played several chess matches against the other version of his husband over the years but other Spock never opened up about his other life, let alone his relationship with his Jim. Elder Selek had no trouble talking for hours about civil engineering projects or some piece of technology that the new academy was working on, but he rarely talks about his life before Nero. It took a chocolate soufflé to get elder Selek to tell him about other Jim's experiences on Tarsus. Then again, it usually takes Jim a couple of bottles of alcohol to do the same, therefore, anything Tarsus related probably doesn't count.

 

Spock hardly ever talked about his Jim or their relationship. Did they get married in the other dimension? If he knew the answer to that question the first time he met other Spock, he probably would have freaked out. (At the time, Jim was still operating under the assumption that he wanted to kill Spock not fuck him. There is such a thin line between lust and hate that it is hard to tell sometimes.) Of course, if he knew that at the time he would have avoided months of wasted time. Now he really wanted to know how other Spock felt about his relationship with his Jim. He does see other Spock as a very big part of his life and he wanted to know what the individual really thought about his marriage. Watching this interview will probably be the only way.

 

Jim decided against watching this with his husband. First, Spock was still in scientist mode and he gets cranky if you interrupt him when he is in the zone. (How long can someone occupy themselves with journal articles, really?) Second, Spock does not like it when Jim uses his computer skills to do supposedly dumb things like access classified files he shouldn't be looking at. Finally, spending too much time around his 'uncle' freaks Spock out. Jim assumes that watching this interview would count as time spent with his other self for Spock.

 

Therefore, Jim grabbed his personal viewing device, his ear buds, and a pillow before he lay back down on the bed to watch. Jim instantly recognized the setting as Elder Selek's study from the one time he visited his home a few years ago during a trip to see Spock's father. The office was definitely a mix of traditional Vulcan and Starfleet decorum. Jim tried to think of when Jane would have been on planet. He knew the woman was OCD enough to travel to New Vulcan to pick up many of the things needed for a traditional Vulcan ceremony herself. Then, Jim remembered that during her extreme bout of unemployment, she volunteered her time to work on the Save Vulcan's History Project. She spent three weeks on the planet interviewing many of the Elders about his or her experiences and what life was like before Vulcan was destroyed. The experience was most likely painful, but Vulcans were logical enough to realize that they needed to preserve as much of their culture as possible.

 

 _"I realize you are reluctant to talk to me. It is hard for many to remember a place now gone. However, you are one of only a handful of living Vulcans that has spent time at Gol. You are the only survivor that is not so detached from reality that you will actually talk to me. Your recollection of your time there is important."_ Jane said in her assuring voice that reminded Jim of the one she used when interviewing Tarsus survivors. She was always kind and never pushed too hard. She also gave out a truckload of chocolate covered granola bars. For some reason, Jim thinks that the other Spock could benefit from one of those right now.

 

 _"I understand the importance of preserving the pass as we create a new future. However, it is difficult to share the memories of another time."_ What other Spock is really saying is 'it is difficult to share memories of something that did not actually happen in this dimension and if I say too much, you will instantly figure out what is really going on.' Jim wondered if by this point Jane actually knew who Elder Selek really was.

 

 _"I understand. Let us start with something easier. What about your childhood? What was it like being a multi species child at a time when that was extremely uncommon on Vulcan? What type of prejudice did you encounter?"_ Jane asked curiously. Other Spock looked uncomfortable, probably because it would be difficult to answer any of her questions without giving himself away.

 

 _"Things have not changed as much as I would prefer. That is why I have pushed for certain legislation to protect the multi species children of this generation. Although, inner species marriages are still frowned upon by certain aspects of Vulcan society, more reasonable individuals have seen the advantages of true diversity."_ The Elder said as he grabbed his teacup with a smug smile before he continued speaking at length about the situation. Jane was able to get the elder to open up regarding his work on the legislation but he refused to discuss how his childhood experiences influenced his work. Jane seemed simultaneously happy and frustrated.

 

 _"I know that you are friends with my almost son. He calls you grandpa Selek."_ Jane mentioned, trying a different tactic once the silence returned.

 

" _Almost son?"_ Other Spock questioned with one eye brow raised in near puzzlement.

 

 _"James Kirk. I have known him since he was a newborn. It began with me helping an extremely depressed Winona at a diner when all the other journalists in the Federation were following her for the exclusive. She was impressed with my willingness to quit my job rather than invade her privacy. I have been captivated with the blue eyed darling ever since. I am the one who taught him how to play chess and ride a bike. It wasn't like Winona was able to do those things."_ Jane said with a sad smile. Spock looked puzzled. Apparently, both Spocks raise their eyebrows in the exact same way when they are confused.

 

 _"That explains why his technique is so different."_ The elder mumbled. Jim hoped that Jane didn't put everything together yet. Unfortunately, he did not volunteer anything else.

 

 _"Jim has told me that he plays against you a lot whenever you two meet up. Do you have a board here?"_ Jim knew exactly what she was doing. Jane managed to get the best confessions out of Jim when he was distracted with a chess board. One of the few things Jim knows about his counterpart was his father taught him how to play chess. In this dimension, Jane was the one who filled in for the missing father figure. Actually, she was the one who filled in for both of his parents.

 

 _"My board is on the shelf behind you."_ Jane quickly got up and retrieved the board to set it up on Selek's desk.

_"What is the point of playing a game?"_ The other Spock asked as Jane continued to set up the pieces.

 

 _"Obviously, you are uncomfortable with this interview considering you have avoided every single question so far. You are worse than Jim and his soon to be husband with your subterfuge. At least they answer my questions."_ Jane said with an eye roll as she moved her chair to the other side of the desk. Jim was starting to think that this interview was not included with the other stuff because it went so badly, instead of the fact it had classified bits in it. For a seasoned journalist like Jane, this had to be embarrassing.

 

 _"Maybe if this conversation took place over a friendly game you would be more willing to answer my questions. It worked with Jim after Tar-after Jim did something really stupid involving a keg of beer and an admiral's car."_ Jane changed what she was going to say mid word. Jim was thankful she actually caught herself. _"Maybe if you open up a little, I would be willing to share the best of Jim Kirk stunts at the academy. Hacking the Kobayashi Maru was just the beginning of all the crazy things he did."_

 

 _"I am aware that James was on that planet during the famine."_ Jim's face went motionless at Selek's words. _"I am also aware that information needs to stay quiet because some of the worst perpetrators have not yet been incarcerated."_ Jim almost laughed because Spock just gave himself away. If you're going to try to survive in a different dimension permanently, one would think looking up the changes in history would be a necessity. The puzzled look on Jane's face told him that.

 

 _"I know I kept a lot of stuff off the net, so I will forgive you for not having your facts quite right. Thanks to Jim's quick thinking, almost everybody involved, except for a few low level people who pretended to be victims, were arrested on the spot. I was there when Starfleet raided the compound. I was the one member of the press allowed to witness Kodos' execution."_ Other Spock looked thoughtful and confused as Jane spoke. When Jim had his heart to heart with Selek about Tarsus, he didn't give the Vulcan any more details than the fact that he was on the planet and that things happened a little bit later in this timeline. He could not bring himself to tell other Spock the dark details of sexual assault and starvation before he told his Spock. The only person that knew everything was his husband, but Jane knew at least 90% of the truth if she has not guessed the rest by now.

 

 _"You are correct; many things regarding what happened during the tragedy were not made public."_ Selek said as he started to play.

 

 _"I can be discreet. I know that not everything needs to be public. I interviewed most of the survivors. I know all about how brutal it really was. Sometimes at night I can still see the starving bodies in my mind. I have dealt with those that have been traumatized by the depths of cruelty. I was specifically asked to work on this project because of my experiences on Tarsus. I'm not going to push you farther than you want to go,"_ Jane said making her first move. Her playing style was just as unpredictable as Jim's. _"Unless, I have to."_

 

 _"That seems possible. I believe that James received his determined nature from you."_ Other Spock responded as he made his own move just as illogical as ever.

 

 _"Jim had to get something from me. It's obvious you don't want to talk to me for reasons unknown no matter what the subject. You don't want to talk about your childhood, the prejudice you encountered because you are part human or your time at the monastery. Are you amenable to talking about the day Vulcan was destroyed or anything else for that matter?"_ Jane asked as she moves one of her ponds.

 

 _"Possibly,"_ he said as he pondered his next move.

_"Where were you when it happened? How did you survive? What were your initial thoughts?"_ She asked as her hand hovered above the board.

 

 _"I was not on planet. I watched everything from Delta Vega."_ Other Spock said coldly with haunted eyes. Jim was probably the only one in the universe who knew the real reason for his pain.

 

 _"You were a researcher at the Delta Vega outpost?"_ Jane asked sounding skeptical to Jim.

_"Something to that effect,"_ he said using the Vulcan technique for lying when telling the truth. Jane was giving Selek her 'I know you're not telling me everything look'.

 

 _"You are the one who helped Jim get back to the Enterprise after, according to the 'official' account, Jim tripped and fell into an escape pod, lost consciousness just after accidentally mumbling something that the computer interpreted as 'launch pod'?"_ Jane sounded extremely skeptical as she asked this. "Jim did mention something vaguely about a Vulcan researcher helping him to the outpost." Now Jim really wondered where this was going. He never said anything like that to her. He would put money on the fact that she read something that she shouldn't have.

 

 _"Yes, I did aid James with the assistance of Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott. How are you aware of any of this?"_ Jim was thinking the same thing.

 

 _"I'm Admiral Barnett's wife. Jane Que Public is my pen name. They usually try out the BS excuses on me to see if anybody would believe it before the press release."_ Why does Jim have a feeling that did not happen this time?  
 _"I am sure that everything you have refused to tell me falls under the category of 'this is so classified that if I tell you I'm going to have to kill you'. Actually, I am starting to believe this entire conversation falls under that category."_ She sighed. _"You're acting like my husband when he knows something that he cannot tell me."_ Jane said quickly eliciting an eyebrow quirk from Selek as he made another move on the board.

 

 _"You are very astute."_ Selek said just as Jane made a completely original countermove. _"You are very good at this game."_

 

 _"I try to be. Let's try a different approach for this interview. Actually, let's not do anything for the history project. My suggestion is to just write down what you want to be public. I had a feeling it's going to be heavily edited for content no matter what."_ That part was mumbled. _"I'll give you a set of my interview questions so you have somewhere to start from."_ She snickered.

_"Your suggestion is logical."_

 

 _"After we finish our game, you can help me with another project. Because Jim and Spock are extremely busy and managed to completely drive Lieutenant Uhura crazy with wedding preparations I volunteered to take over. The final straw was a Halloween theme wedding. Orange and black together looks good on no one. Unfortunately, all the books I have looked at are extremely limited regarding Vulcan wedding traditions. I need help and your nephew is usually out of e-mail range. I could use your assistance as great uncle of the groom."_ Selek almost look like he was smiling after her request.

 

 _"I am perfectly willing to discuss various wedding traditions. You may film our discussion for the Vulcan history project."_ He probably only volunteered to do this because Selek could discuss Vulcan marriage practices without accidentally saying something that would tell Jane that this was his second time around.

 

 _"Now that's something you are willing to talk about."_ Jane said in irritation but that might be because she was now in check. However, her ingenuity kicked in and she quickly turned things around as all conversation stopped. 5 minutes later, she had other Spock in checkmate. Jim considered fast forwarding through this part but he enjoys watching the game from this perspective. He noticed subtle differences in the way this Spock played such as he was much quicker to do something unorthodox than his Spock.

 

 _"I see where Jim gets his creative playing style from."_ Selek mouth was still but his eyes were smiling.

 

 _"Again, he had to get something from me. You play a lot like your nephew."_ Jim is positive Jane is starting to see the truth.

_"You have played against my nephew?"_ Jim wants to laugh at the way other Spock says nephew.

_"He used to visit my house a lot when he was in San Francisco."_ Jane said without elaborating. Jim is glad she didn't tell Selek about dating Pike in this dimension. The elder had the Vulcan equivalent of a freak out when he found out about Ny. Apparently, Spock had a much more interesting love life this time around.

 

 _"Before we start our wonderful discussion about Vulcan Wedding rituals, I would like to get your opinion on your nephew's pending marriage."_ Jane said quickly getting away from all possibly Pike related conversations much to Jim's delight.

 

 _"For what purpose?"_ The elder said as he took a sip of his tea.

 

 _"Why do you answer every question with a question?"_ Jane asked in extreme frustration. Selek did not respond.

 

 _"I am working on a wedding video. I am interviewing Jim and Spock's friends and family for the project. It's my mother of the groom gift. Spock doesn't have a lot of family left. I think you should participate."_ Jane said once she became tired of the silence.

_"What do you want me to say?"_ Selek asked as he finally stopped being contradictory. Jim is starting to believe that being a complete dick is a genetic trait.

 

 _"Whatever you want. Although, I seriously doubt you're going to elaborate more on the first time you met Jim."_ Jane said with a roll of her eyes before moving on. _"Did you always think that they would end up together?"_ Jim's breath caught in his throat as Jane asked that question. If Selek said yes, that essentially told Jim that other Spock had a relationship with his Jim that went way beyond friendship. That was not something he wanted to know, even if he really did.

 

 _"Yes, even if James was under the impression that Spock hated him at the time of our first meeting."_ Jim had the sudden urge to bury himself under a pillow again as he remembered a time when he thought his Spock wanted him dead. The other reason why he was hiding under a pillow was he knew other Spock and other Jim were lovers. That thought was simultaneously comforting and disturbing.

_"That was not hatred, it was flirting."_ Jane said with a laugh. _"Unfortunately, it took them a little while to figure everything out."_

 

 _"Not as long as some. A few months is insignificant compared to decades. I am most grateful that they have found each other now instead of wasting years due to fear and illogical assumptions."_ There was deep regret in both Selek's voice and gaze. Maybe other Spock did not get his happy ending with Jim after all.

 

 _"This sounds like it is going to be a story filled with deep loss and regret. Did you lose your bond mate when Vulcan was destroyed?"_ Of course, Jane would automatically think that. Many lost loved ones in the catastrophe.

_"No, I lost J—Tiberius years before."_ Other Spock probably thought he was being sneaky by referring to his Jim by his middle name but he just told Jane the final piece of the puzzle. Jim could tell by the look on her face that she figured out everything. She looked entirely too smug.

 

 _"Your lover was human?"_ Jane asked unable to keep the shock of her voice.

_"Yes."_ Other Spock almost looked haunted as he said this in a near whisper.

 

 _"Judging by the fact you are visibly showing emotions, I assume you lost Tiberius to something other than human mortality?"_ Jane asked subtly as she took a drink of her own tea.

 

 _"I wish old age was the only thing that kept my Tiberius from me. He was an officer in Starfleet. Sometimes, I think he loved being a part of that more than me."_ Jim quickly thought about his words. They did not apply to him. If some idiot like Admiral K suddenly became the individual in charge and tried to force him and Spock apart he would leave. He would miss exploring the galaxy and doing good things but Spock was more important. There was always one of those private consulting jobs that he could take. Jim could see where his other self would think like that from what he knew. Other Jim's parents most likely always put their career in Starfleet first. Of course, other Jim probably didn't resent that as much as he did and thought that was the way you were supposed to behave. Things were better with Winona now but it still hurt Jim deeply that she always put her career in front of everything else including him. He couldn't do that to Spock and their future family.

 

 _"Did he die on a mission?"_ As soon as Jane asked that question, Jim knew he should stop watching immediately. He should not know this. This was the real reason why Jane did not want him to see this but he couldn't stop watching. Besides so much has changed in this universe that his death would most likely not occur that way. If he had his wish, it would be at the ripe old age of 200 with Spock by his side. If they could die at the same time holding hands many decades from now, that would be good.

 

 _"In a matter of speaking."_ That did not surprise Jim, considering he almost died in the line of duty mere days earlier, twice. Because if anything was going to keep him from his old age fantasy, it would be this job. He hasn't seen pain like that in Spock's eyes since that day on Delta Vega nearly six years ago. No, that wasn't quite right. Jim has seen that look of pain in his Spock's eyes every time someone mentions that he technically died twice recently. They never really talked about it but he knew that it affected Spock deeply.

 

 _"What happened?"_ She asked with concern, picking up on other Spock's sorrow.

 

 _"I cannot discuss the event because it is classified."_ That was probably true but Jim knew that was just an excuse to keep from talking about something that he didn't want to. The biggest drawback to having a fellow Starfleet husband is he can't use 'it's classified', as an excuse not to talk because they have the same security clearance.

 

 _"This interview would be going so much better if you did not hide behind your various excuses. I don't want to know specifics about how Tiberius died. It is completely irrelevant. I want to know why it hurts you so much to talk about it. I think the state of your relationship at the time of his death is the most important part of that story."_ Jane said with sorrow.

 

 _"Tiberius found retirement disconcerting much like being a member of the Admiralty. He always craved to be back in space."_ Jim's head was under his pillow again. If Jane didn't figure out everything by the Tiberius , she surely got it now. However, Jane did not give anything away and allowed him to continue. _"His restlessness put a strain on our relationship."_

 

 _"I'm sure that wasn't the only thing that put a strain on your relationship. Even though openly gay troops have been able to serve in Starfleet since Its inception those that aspire to be in the higher ranks keep things private usually due to idiots like Admiral K and Marcus. It turns out the perceived glass ceiling, closet, or whatever was bull[expletive]. Yes there were a few cowardly idiots who wrote nasty things on message boards but most of the Federation can deal with a captain or an Admiral that's not that heterosexual."_ Again, Jim had to repress the urge to laugh. Everyone knew about Hoover, Pike, and everyone else even if they all thought they were secretive.

 

 _"It was a contributing factor to our discord. As you have stated, the public could handle the concept of a non-heterosexual hero, Tiberius could not. It was hard for him to reconcile who he was, with who he thought he should be. I always thought such negative ideas came from Tiberius listening to his father speak ill of his former captain, Mr. Hoover, simply because who his partner was. We had an 'open' relationship for the sake of appearances and his apprehension, although it was not my preference. I only agree because he is— was my T'hy'la."_ Why did Jim have the suspicious feeling that other Jim went through his space slut phase as part of his midlife crisis that most likely coincided with his marriage/bonding/relationship with Selek. Its moments like these were Jim truly hates himself.

 

Then he also hated a father that he has never met. Jim has always been suspicious that George Kirk was not as virtuous as people assume him to be. During a few of their less hostile conversations over the last few years, Jim has asked his mother what his father would think of his marriage to Spock. She would avoid the question by saying it doesn't matter because she thinks Spock is the perfect son in law. (At least that is what she says to his face, he is definitely watching her interview when he gets the chance to see the truth and the mommy fight.)

 

 _"Okay,"_ Jane said this in a way that indicated she did not want to go further down that path. Jim was glad for that. _"What happened right before Jim left for the last time?"_ Selek was too busy still gazing deeply at his tea cup to see the twinkle in her eye as she said Jim instead of Tiberius. Oh fuck, she knows.

 

 _"He chose to have one last mission despite my protests. We argued but he left anyway. He did not return."_ To anyone else in the universe, Selek's words seemed cold and distant. Only Jim could hear the regret and bitterness.

 

 _"How does it feel to watch your younger self avoid the mistakes you made?"_ That was when Jim saw the tea cup fall down to the ground. This is the Vulcan version of fainting. Jim discovered that when he tried to hold hands with his Spock on the new colony. How was he supposed to know that was the Vulcan equivalent of public sex? When he kissed Spock during the proposal he got real fainting.

_"I do not know what you are referring to."_ Selek said as he started to pick up the ceramic shards.

 

 _"I know who you are. You are a version of Commander Spock from the same dimension that Nero came from."_ Selek's Vulcan poker face was back.

 

_"How do you know such things?"_

 

"This is why this is classified." Jim mumbled to himself as the Elder questioned her method for gathering intelligence.

 

 _"My husband keeps using our daughter's birth dates and our anniversary as part of his password. Other times he just forgets to log out when he leaves his official PADD on the table. I'm human and it's not like the stuff ended up on my blog the next day."_ Jane said with a shrug of her shoulders before continuing.

 

 _"Yet, how do you know I am the other Spock?"_ He questioned as Jim tried not to laugh out loud.

 

 _"I am an investigative journalist that has been covering Federation politics since the other you was having naptime in his learning bowl. I probably have interviewed every single Vulcan ambassador or council member for the last three decades. I did not make your acquaintance, Elder, until after Vulcan was destroyed. I believe that is because you were not around to make my acquaintance before then."_ Jane spoke still smirking.

 

 _"What if I retired from public life before your career began and only returned because of a great need?"_ Selek questioned.

 

 _"That line of logic may work on someone else but not me. I know Spock probably better than most. You look just like him. Because you are passing yourself off as his great uncle, some may let that go but not me. Your voices sound nearly identical. You both have a similar speech pattern. You play chest nearly the same way except you are a little more adventurous. You even take your tea similarly."_ Jane said with eyes rolling.

 

 _"Many people take their tea in a similar fashion."_ Selek words just made Jane shake her head.

 

 _"Other than the fact that you have completely avoided most of my questions and you did not know about Kudos being dead in this dimension, you referred to the love of your life as Tiberius. I know that T in James T. Kirk does not stand for tomcat."_ Jane said smirking, Selek stayed silent.

 

_"However, your ultimate tell was the fact you still answered my question when I used Jim instead of Tiberius."_

_"You are very observant."_ That was as close as any Spock would get to confessing that she was right.

 

 _"You have to be in my job._ " Jane said with a smile. _"So what went wrong the first time around?"_

 

Jim is pretty sure, that besides the classified bits, this part was not included with everything else so Jim and Spock wouldn't find out how idiotic their other selves really were. He wanted to hurt other Jim for being a fool and a dick.

 

There were some universal constants such as Pike being a commitment phobic ass in both dimensions which led to making Spock very insecure about future relationships. Other similarities included, missions that are supposed to be simple PR stunts going to hell quickly and former significant others getting their revenge by any means necessary. Both he and Spock having a tendency to run away from their feelings and living in constant denial also seems to also be a universal constant. Fortunately in this dimension, Jim had Jane to smack him upside the head.

 

Some things were different for example this time around Jim knew he did not have to choose between Spock and the happy family fantasy. Jim knew that a family was more than a wife and kids. He doubted the other version of himself spent quality time with Robert and Jack on Tarsus. He always thought about the couple this time a year. As much as he tried to forget tomorrow had another significance besides being his wedding anniversary. It was also the 16th anniversary of the day Jane rescued him from Tarsus. Robert and Jack were the first functional family that Jim ever saw. They were the standard that Jim judged most relationships on. As a testament to their memory, Jim wanted to live up to that standard.

 

Because he spent his entire childhood in the spotlight, he had no trouble telling reporters or anyone else to go fuck themselves. Jim did not care how perfect strangers saw him, but he was going to live his life, his way. (Friends and family were a completely different matter otherwise, he wouldn't be watching this.) Because of the life that he has led, when people tell him he can't do something he does it anyway just to prove them wrong. It was all part of who he was.

 

Jane increased the sense of loss and regret by scoring other Spock's interview with the Johnny Cash version of Hurt. Because if hearing other Spock tell a story of boy loses boy because both parties were complete idiot's did not have Jim crying, lyrics like 'Everyone I know goes away In the end' would.

 

He always thought that his other self had a better life because he had a father and didn't have to go through anywhere near the misery that Jim did like being nearly beaten to death by his stepfather or being sentenced to die for his sexual orientation on Tarsus. However, there were a lot of things that were better this time around. He didn't have a father but he had Jane and she was always there for him when he needed her the most. He had friends like Bones and Nyota who he thought of as siblings. They were closer to him than his actual brother Sam. However, the most important thing was he had Spock completely. He wouldn't trade that for anything.

 

Jane was barely keeping herself from crying as she started asking questions again. _"If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would you tell him?"_

_"James Kirk is an amazing individual in any incarnation. Do not be afraid to love James completely. Do not be afraid of your emotions. Do not be afraid to accompany James on this adventure known as life. I do not regret loving my James. I regret fear. I regret not thinking that I could be enough. I regret many of our misunderstandings. However, I do not regret loving my James."_ Jim was dabbing his eyes with his T-shirt at that point as the footage ended there.

 

"T'hy'la, why are you crying?" His Spock asked as he looked up from his PADD. Apparently, his tears broke Spock out of scientist mode.

 

"I'm fine. I was just watching the Lion King again." Jim lied as he quickly removed the interview from his screen. "You know I always cry when Simba tries to wake up his father after he gets trampled to death." It was a plausible explanation because it has happened before. He has daddy issues and stuff like that always makes him cry.

 

"I do not understand why you repeatedly watch movies that cause you to have an emotional outburst." Spock says in his "You are illogical, but I love you anyway,' voice. "I preferred the original incarnation of Hamlet."

 

"Of course, you would." He said as he rolled his eyes. "I think I have the version that came out last year available for streaming now. Do you want to watch?"

 

"I suppose." Spock was already sitting behind him by that point.

 

"Did I ever tell you how lucky I am that I found you when I did?" Jim said as he fell into Spock's embrace. He couldn't help thinking about other Spock's words.

 

"There is no such thing as luck. However, I do find the situation advantageous." Spock said as he kissed Jim on the forehead. At least Bones did not freak out this time. Jim was content to spend the next few hours lying on top of Spock as they watched a modern update of Hamlet complete with phaser fights.

 

To be continued.

 

 


	4. File name: Interview Number 22631016J Lieutenant Commander Nyota Uhura and Dr. Leonard (Bones) McCoy of Starfleet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Underage drinking but it was an accident. Blame Scotty
> 
> I also warn for sexual dialogue. Blame Jim. His dirty mouth pushes the rating to M.

Really, The Lion King? Spock is not at all shocked that James lied to him at this point in their relationship because he does not become shocked. He is surprised that James actually thought Spock would not instantly see through the lie. As if Spock could really concentrate when he felt James extreme sadness through their bond. It took him 91.3 seconds to determine what James was actually watching. Spock was somewhat tempted to watch the file later himself but there are some things not worth knowing, anything related to his other self falls under that category.

He was not angry, mostly because he was relieved that James was not remembering the events of 16 years ago. Tomorrow would be the 16th anniversary of Starfleet's intervention on the Tarsus colony. James chose for their wedding to occur on that day as a means to cleanse it. (This is also why Jim decided that their first real date would occur on Spock's mother's birthday.) Spock was tempted to argue it was impossible to cleanse any day but he understood why James decided on that date after discovering that the wedding would have to take place in October. After knowing each other for nearly six years, Spock realized that such arguments are futile.

Spock also felt that it was futile to make Jim aware that Spock knew of his deception. Instead, he sat with Jim nestled on top of him as they watched the most ridiculous adaptation of Hamlet Spock has ever had the displeasure of seeing, including that unusual sequel from the 21st century. However, James preferred his Shakespeare with as many explosions as possible and Spock decided to humor his husband.

After a lunch of preselected food that by Vulcan standards tasted like cardboard, James settled on his bed reading one of the novels that Jane sent. Spock suggested another board game called Trivial Pursuit but Jim refused, citing that he did not want a repeat of the 'Monopoly fiasco'. James does not like losing. Spock was not aware that he played the game before because his mother never referred to it as Monopoly and they always played electronically.

In lieu of reading, Spock continued working on the data that Jane provided relating to Vulcan sexuality. Spock found the entire thing fascinating. He was currently reading through various accounts to detect inaccurate information. Spock would not be surprised that certain members provided Jane false information simply because of her being human. Although certain aspects of Vulcan sexuality are more widely known then before the destruction of Vulcan such as Pon farr, there is still a culture of silence that exists regarding Vulcan sexuality. At least this allowed him to be useful during his incarceration. (Spock could not help but think of his current confinement under medical quarantine as being incarcerated.)

He never liked being sick or long periods of inactivity. As a child, his mother would usually load human crossword puzzles on his PADD to keep him occupied. Maybe he can suggest something similar to prevent James from more unauthorized access of classified material. James seemed just as restless, even as he read or listened to music so loud that he could still hear it despite the use of ear buds (much to Spock's annoyance.)

Spock had already read 224 pages of Jane's raw data on Vulcan sexual practices when Dr. McCoy interrupted their solitude to inform the couple of an incoming call from Nyota. Spock was pleased to hear from his friend as well as have a break from his work. Jim was equally pleased.

"Thank god somebody else called. It's boring when I only have a grumpy doctor who won't let me do fun things with my husband for company." Jim said literally bouncing on the Bio bed. Some days, Spock wonders if he is married to a toddler.

"What about your husband? I'm sure he's good at things other than getting you off." She joked. Because Nyota's relationship was better with James than him, sometimes they would forget that he was in the room as illogical as that sounds. This was one of those times.

"But he's so good at it. His tongue is –okay, I'm not sure how to describe it but I miss it right now." James said smiling.

"I wouldn't know." Nyota said without the maliciousness that would have been their years earlier. She has mostly forgiven him for using her as his 'rebound' as she would put it (even if Spock is completely unsure what the term rebound means in this context).

"What is the purpose of your call?" Spock asked redirecting the conversation from potentially dangerous (embarrassing) material.

"Part of the reason is I just called to let you know I survived the shuttle to earth." Due to the assassination attempt and their extended medical confinement, shore leave was extended by two weeks to give Starfleet more time to find those responsible for what happened. (At the very least, this was the explanation provided.) The positive aspect of this was that many of the crew were able to visit their friends and family on earth, or other planets that would have been too far away to visit previously. Nyota was originally planning to meet up with Shawn on Risa. However, in light of the new circumstances it was decided she would travel to earth instead. At least, that was the justification she gave Jim and Spock for her last minute change of plans. Spock did not believe her especially in light of the fact that she was still in uniform and calling from Starfleet headquarters.

It seems highly probable she and several others were keeping pertinent pieces of information from both he and James, related to their most recent near death experience. Spock wondered if there was another reason behind their medical incarceration. Despite the deadly nature of the virus, three weeks quarantine seemed excessive especially given the fact that they were removed from Enterprise and placed in a location only known to a few. Because James' former girlfriend was involved in the assassination attempt, Spock wondered if Jim was the real target rather than derailing the negotiations themselves as he and James assumed previously. Spock would not be shocked in the least if Christopher decided to use subterfuge for the sake of protection. It was Christopher's specialty.

"It is good to see that you arrived on Earth undamaged, even if you are still in uniform." Spock said bringing attention to the fact that Nyota was still on duty. He wanted to know why.

"Don't remind me. By the time I arrived on earth this became a working vacation. By working vacation, I mean I have no choice but to work. I was volunteered/drafted to work on a special project before my shuttle landed. I'm still on duty technically even if Shawn dragged me to a club last night. This is what I get for deciding to stay with an Admiral. I knew I should have stayed in a hotel." From that statement, Spock can deduce that Christopher is living with Shawn presently. During their entire relationship, Spock was not even allowed to keep a toothbrush in Christopher's quarters or apartment.

"I told you so." Jim said sticking out his tongue childishly making Spock instantly forget his anger regarding his former lover.

"Do not stick your tongue out at me. You so owe me, big time. Your e-mail to Shawn arrived just when he was picking me up. Shawn had no idea that you didn't know about the engagement because Pike said he told you." Nyota told James with annoyance.

"That is what his e-mail said although there was more cursing involved." Jim sighed. Apparently, Shawn sent that message directly to James.

"Don't feel bad because I didn't know either." She said with a bit of anger. "You at least provided me some sort of warning."

"I took you ring shopping." Jim replied cheekily.

"Shawn and I have been best friends for over a decade. You think he would tell me about this sort of thing?" Spock has not seen Nyota this upset since she accidentally hit the captain when she was aiming at Spock, due to his lack of communication skills.

"He was being an absolutely horrible best friend." James said sardonically.

"That's what I said. He made it up to me by going clubbing with me and making his fiancée sleep on the couch. It was entertaining." She said with a laugh. Spock could not help but smile, slightly.

"What a shame." James said with false innocence.

"Shawn did not buy his excuse that he was too busy with trying to figure out who arranged for that diplomatic mission to fall apart to remember to tell you about the engagement. Although, that was mostly because he lied about it." The annoyance in her voice was audible.

"Have they discovered the responsible party?" Spock questioned.

"You don't need to know that. You are on medical leave. No work related stuff, even if it is related to how you ended up on medical leave in the first place. I promise to call or e-mail both of you if I find something out." Spock knew this was a diversionary tactic on her part. He could tell she was withholding information because she kept tugging at her uniform top. She always did this when she was lying.

"Fine." Both he and James said simultaneously not truly satisfied by her obvious excuse.

"Do you have any idea how boring it is being trapped in a room for three weeks when you are used to exploring the galaxy, fighting the bad guys, and dealing with idiotic Admirals? You need to call more often." James whined.

"You forgot to mention screwing your husband in every supply closet, unoccupied office, elevator, and unsuspecting tube on the damn ship. There's not enough brain bleach in the quadrant to get those images out of my mind." Spock heard the doctor say over the intercom system. Apparently, he was monitoring this conversation.

"It's not just on Enterprise. You will be amazed at what you can get away with underneath a meeting table. How can anybody resist my cock sucker lips?" Nyota responded with a roll of her eyes, the doctor responded with expletives, and Spock utilized his 'I surely can resist your lips if you continue to be so crude' expression.

"You're still dealing with idiotic Admirals." Nyota joked, most likely in an effort to keep Spock from reprimanding his husband for discussing private things in public, although Spock doubted James considered their friends public. "Getting to spend three weeks alone with the person you love the most can't be that bad."

"It's getting better now that we have board games and something to watch other than The History of Open Heart Surgery. But we still can't have sex." James pouted at this. Nyota laughed in response.

"That was a very fascinating documentary." Spock responded.

"Of course, you would think so." James turned around to give his husband a dark look.

"So what else have you been doing other than slowly driving each other crazy?" Nyota asked.

"If that hasn't happened yet, it's not going to." Jim mumbled under his breath before continuing.

"Reading, getting my ass kicked at Monopoly, and freaking Bones out every time I grope my husband, the usual." Jim shrugged.

"They have been doing a good job at it to." Dr. McCoy mumbled over the system.

"We have also been watching the unedited footage from Jane's wedding video project. The good news is my father in law does not hate me. The bad news is the soundproofing on Enterprise sucks." Jim said sheepishly.

"Alert the media, Jim Kirk actually does have some shame." McCoy said almost laughing.

"Do I want to know?" Nyota asked cautiously looking at Spock.

"Not really." It was Dr. McCoy who replied. "I'm still trying to wipe that part of the conversation from my mind. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to drink when on duty."

"You didn't have to watch." Jim said again in a voice that resembled a toddler or possibly a sulky teenager.

"Unfortunately, I do." The doctor said with his normal annoyance. "I can't trust you for a minute not to molest your husband.

"Just for that, we are watching your video next." Jim said picking up the controller for the main video screen.

"You don't need to watch anything else. I will tell you right now what I think. You are a whiny brat and sometimes, I honestly don't know how your husband has survived being with you for this long. It must be the Vulcan ability to suppress all emotions, otherwise; he would have strangled your ass long ago. Oh wait, he has already tried." Dr. McCoy said with a glare.

"Only as part of a sex game. What can I say, I have an erotic asphyxiation kink and I married someone who is just as kinky as I am. The sex is good and Vulcans don't need to breathe as much as humans. That has its advantages." Jim said cheekily. Spock was positive that his cheeks were green even as he repeated his angry glare from earlier.

"If I remember correctly, I don't think you said anything like that, Leonard, and I was there. Although, most of the night is blurry because I'm pretty sure that punch was spiked." Nyota spoke on screen.

"The punch was very spiked and nobody told Admiral McMillan. She is allergic to alcohol and swelled up like a balloon. Thanks to Jim having a tendency to go into anaphylactic shock at the worst times, I always keep an allergy hypo with me. That was actually when the interview ended." Spock remembered that incident only because it allowed Jim and Spock to safely leave the reception completely unnoticed to copulate in a hotel room. However, Spock thought Jane was still unconscious at that point. That incident does explain why Mr. Scott was temporarily detailed to Delta Vega for three months following the ceremony.

"I will let you guys go because I need to get back to my special project. I will call in a few days to let you know if Pike is still sleeping on the couch." She smiled at Spock. Spock felt strangely happy at the thought of Christopher suffering. Due to his previous injuries in the line of duty, such a punishment would be highly uncomfortable.

"Send pictures and make Chris extra miserable for us. It will be the perfect anniversary present." James joked.

"I guess I should say happy anniversary now, because I won't get to talk to you tomorrow. I did get you something good, so I can throw in the torture as a get well present. Pike owes me for making me work during my shore leave. Because my original present won't work anymore, due to your medical incapacitation, I had to arrange a special present for tomorrow, if I can get your doctor to approve." With that, she disappeared from the screen and her face was replaced with Dr. McCoy.

"I want my present." Jim said in a whiny voice.

"What are you 12?" The doctor asked with a sigh of annoyance.

"Sometimes." Jim said smiling again.

"Maybe, if you behave." He replied with his head in his hands. "Spock, please help me by preventing your husband from slowly driving me insane."

"I will endeavor to do so." Spock replied. With that, they were alone in the room again.

"You want to find out what Bones really thinks about me?" James said practically bouncing off the bed. This was really his fault for letting James consume more of Jane's cookies during Hamlet. He does not handle sugar very well sometimes.

"If we must." Spock said in acquiescence.

"I would ask for more popcorn but I think Bones is pissed at me now." Jim said pouting.

\---

Seconds later the ballroom of the Spring Bay hotel appears on screen decorated in the light blues and purples chosen for the ceremony. Bouquets of Light yellow, pink, and blue roses are also scattered throughout the room. He and James are on the dance floor slowly swaying as the live Jazz band played in the background. The camera is currently focused on the two. Spock remembers this was one of the few dances they actually got to share between the various disasters and the rituals of the wedding.

" _Who would have thought five years ago that those two knuckleheads would be together?"_ The gruff voice obviously belonged to Dr. McCoy. _"I was positive they would kill each other by now._ " This was proven when the camera turned around to show the doctor sitting between Nyota and Mia Barnett. It was obvious that the then 14 year old was controlling the camera with the remote in hand.

From their many conversations over the course of their acquaintance, Spock knew that Mia wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a journalist. He remembered one incident when a seven year old interviewed Spock at length with her children's camera about Vulcan culture and practices.

On screen, Nyota was dressed in the light purple bridesmaid dress that she chose, instead of the traditional Vulcan robes worn for the actual ceremony. Mia was dressed similar as one of the bridesmaids. It was obvious she would be in the wedding because James often referred to the young girl as his little sister despite a lack of blood relation. Nyota served as James' Best Woman after several weeks of begging on James part. Leonard was Spock's best man but only because Spock wanted to ensure that James had both of his friends in the ceremony.

 _"Considering the first time they met, everybody thought they would kill each other within a week, especially in light of the fact that Spock actually tried. I should've known better. It takes a special type of person to make Spock that angry."_ Nyota said taking a sip of her drink.

 _"So it wasn't love at first sight?"_ Mia asked drinking the punch that most likely came from the 'spiked' punch bowl. (Spock still does not understand the meaning behind the phrase 'spiked punch' when no actual spikes were involved.)

 _"More like deep seated hatred."_ Dr. McCoy said also drinking the wine. Spock was personally shocked not to see the doctor drinking something harder.

 _"I think I would have been really angry if that was the case, considering Spock and I were supposedly dating at the time. It turns out the terms 'friend' and 'lover' are used interchangeably in Vulcan culture. I knew I should have paid more attention in class about the nuances of the Vulcan language." S_ he joked without bitterness.

 _"You had no idea your boyfriend was gay?"_ Mia asked skeptically.

" _Vulcans do not have sexual orientations. They just end up with the most logical partner regardless of gender. Of course, I was too busy reading three chapters ahead to pick up on that."_ Nyota said smiling.

"You better be happy Ny is the most wonderful woman in the universe otherwise you would be living without balls right now. I really do like your balls." James remarked, snuggling in closer to Spock. Spock put one arm around him as they continued watching.

 _"I thought it was mostly arranged marriages?"_ The doctor questioned. _"At least, that's what they told me when I was busy dealing with those with broken mental bonds after you know."_

 _"Uncle Spock is half human; he has a tendency to go by human norms."_ Mia pointed out.

"From the mouths of babes." James mumbled next to him.

 _"Uncle Spock?"_ Nyota asked raising an eyebrow.

 _"I've known him since I was a toddler and Vulcan names are hard to pronounce. I just called him Uncle Spoke until I was seven."_ Mia said taking another drink of the punch. _"I prefer Uncle Spock to referring to him as my sort of brother in law."_

"I think all that punch she is drinking was why she threw up on my shoes after we snuck back into the reception after 'private time'. I also think that's probably the only reason why she is telling them about the nickname, Uncle Spoke." James said giggling. If he were human, he would throw a pillow at his husband.

" _Please tell me your mother has video of that?"_ The doctor asked. _"The other groom would get a kick out of it. We could have used that for the bachelor party. It would have been a much better pre wedding prank than having a female stripper give him a lap dance. He just acted extra Vulcan."_ The doctor said this with vast amounts of laughter.

"That was supposed to be a joke? I assume that strippers were a human wedding tradition and they chose a female stripper to cater to the taste of the other attendance. I still do not understand human humor." Spock remarked thinking about the uncomfortable party as Dr. McCoy described the entire thing on screen. He found the ritual uncomfortable and he was the only one who left the club sober. The doctor could at least have chosen an establishment that served chocolate laced alcohol so Spock could have partaken in the traditional pre wedding inebriation process.

"No you don't understand Bones' humor. He likes to torture you but you know that Bones loves you anyway." Spock was expecting Dr. McCoy to contradict the statement but he did not. "It is a human tradition. You should have chosen Ny to be your best man or rather person. She took me to Boy Town and she was the one who got the lap dance. That was hot. I have video." James said smirking. Spock tried to repress the jealousy at that statement that he will deny feeling later.

"It would have been in poor taste to ask a former significant other to be part of the wedding, as well as, host my bachelor party." Spock replied sharply.

"I don't think it counts as dating when the person you are with is essentially there only for the purposes of protecting you emotionally from your boss who broke your heart." James pointed out with more laughter. Spock chose not to respond.

They turned their attention back on the screen just in time to hear Nyota say, _"Why does everybody keep asking me why I didn't pick up on the fact Spock was gay and using me to get over you know who being a commitment phobic prick?"_ Nyota asked with a sigh of exasperation.

 _"I figured it out before preschool."_ Mia mumbled under her breath.

 _"That's because you got to see him bring a date to your family night."_ The doctor looked confused at Nyota's words and neither woman would elaborate. Considering two days after Jim and Spock returned from the honeymoon Dr. McCoy asked, _"Why the fuck did you not tell me about Pike? If nothing else that would have explained your crack up during the battle of Vulcan. I should have compromised you myself."_

 _"It was still a beautiful wedding despite what happened."_ Nyota said as she placed her glass on the table.

 _"Please, it was a disaster. My mother is currently unconscious three floors up because she got in a fight with Mrs. Kirk."_ Mia said while laughing.

 _"Your mom does have a great right hook."_ The doctor remarked on screen as Jim laughed.

 _"I'm just happy that your mom successfully talked Jim out of the Halloween theme wedding. He was going to make Spock wear fangs. When he suggested orange bridesmaid gowns and black roses, I quit as wedding planner."_ Spock remembered that discussion. He distinctly remembered Nyota threatening to shove the roses into James' backside. At that time, James claimed that it would be funny but Spock still failed to see the humor.

 _"Don't forget Uncle Chris showing up with Shawn. I am 14 and I know that was in bad taste. Isn't there a rule about not rubbing your new relationships in the face of your ex at his wedding because you broke up solely because you refused to come out as a couple?"_ Mia said as the wait staff refilled her punch glass.

 _"There is a rule about not showing up to your ex significant others wedding."_ Nyota said taking a glass of champagne from the tray. _"Considering I ignored that rule completely by being a bridesmaid, I can't hold anyone else to that standard."_ Again, she said this with genuine laughter.

 _"Not that I can remember too well due to the sheer volume of hookups during the years before therapy but I'm pretty sure your friend Shawn was among them. Considering I barely remember, I doubt Jim will. So it's not a big deal."_ The doctor said as he received strange looks from Mia and Nyota on screen, as well as, a perplexed expression from James on the couch.

"You never told him about Chris?" James asked. Spock chose not to answer.

 _"You were Spock's best man and you had no idea?"_ Mia asked shocked.

 _"You're shrieking on your best man duties. It's your job to keep the crazy former significant others away."_ Nyota added.

 _"I'm your date for this. I think that is doing my job. Although, I am not surprised Jim and the hobgoblin shared an ex-boyfriend. Those two are too alike for my own personal sanity. Usually that sameness comes out as the two losing consciousness at the same time."_ Both Mia and Nyota exchanged a look of confusion.

 _"Again, why does everybody think I'm still angry at Spock? It's been more than four years and I'm over being the transition between Chris and Jim."_ That is when the doctor's wine glass fell to the floor shattering into dozens of pieces. Within seconds, a member of the staff was there to pick up the glass.

"I'll take that as a yes you never told him. You are angry at Chris for not telling you a lot of stuff but you know you're a lot more like him than you think." James said as they watched the doctor continue spluttering on screen.

"The situation is not the same." Spock said in his defense.

 _"Forget the champagne. I want a god damn bourbon!"_ The doctor barked out, terrifying the college student waiter.

 _"Spock dated Jim's father figure. I don't know which one has more issues."_ McCoy mumbled.

 _"Chris."_ Both Mia and Nyota said simultaneously.

 _"You know we are right. You don't bring a date to your ex-boyfriend's wedding. Actually, you should not even go."_ Nyota murmured.

 _"Says the woman who is attending her ex-boyfriend's wedding as a bridesmaid."_ Mia mumbled under her breath.

 _"It doesn't count as dating if the guy is not actually attracted to your entire gender. I was breakup therapy."_ Nyota quipped.

" _And I thought that one of Jim's former girlfriends breaking into the ceremony claiming that she had his love child was bad. She was carrying a damn robot in her arms."_ The doctor sighed as the waiter brought his bourbon.

 _"Yes, with Barbara Sawyer trailing behind. I think that situation was much worse than our Admiral being an idiot."_ Nyota added snidely.

 _"I absolutely hate her."_ Mia mumbled. _"The punch is good."_ Spock could already tell that her speech was starting to become slurred by this point.

 _"They still look happy together even though this was the most dysfunctional wedding I have ever attended."_ Nyota said pointing to him and James still on the dance floor.

 _"I want to find love like that."_ Mia said wistfully.

_"We all do sweetheart, but you're not going to find it at 14. You may never find it. I thought that I had when I met my future ex wife but it became a disaster. The only good thing that came from that marriage was my daughter. The only reason why I am even getting to see her right now is Jim convince my cow of an ex wife to let my baby girl be in the wedding."_

_"That was Spock's idea."_ Nyota said now drinking a glass of the infamous punch. Dr. McCoy looked completely shocked.

 _"There's no way the green blooded hobgoblin would do something like that. God, I need more alcohol."_ The man spluttered incoherently.

 _"I know it was Spock. I was in the room when he called mom for the special favor. He knew how much spending time with your daughter meant to you." Mia added. "Why are you so surprised? Spock always helps those he cares about. Currently, he is helping me prepare for my six months stay on the Vulcan colony with my mother."_ The doctor still seemed flustered as Mia finished. At that, James stopped the video.

"I'm not sure what I find more surprising, that you helped Bones with his custody situation or your friendship with Mia. I know you are the only one with the connections to pull something like that off. You also helped Mia Barnett survive her time on the colony. Why?" James asked in puzzlement.

"Even though a portion of the colony is more tolerant to other cultures, there are still some elements that cleave to the old ways. It would be remiss if I did not help your pseudo little sister to prepare for her time on the planet." Spock replied and James smirked.

"You don't need to lie like that with me. I know you are very protective of your mini Spock and your curmudgeon best Friend. She is a lot like you down to the encyclopedia like knowledge of everything. Besides I'm pretty sure you're the one responsible for her being able to beat me at chess by the time she was 11. As for Bones, he only argues with people that much that he likes." James said right before he reactivated the screen.

 _"People are not always who we think they are. We only see what they want us to see. I think true love is being able to see beyond the façade to the inner person and being able to accept everything without conditions."_ Nyota spoke softly.

 _"Is that why things fell apart with you and Spock, other than the gay thing?"_ Mia asked smirking.

 _"Really there's no need to keep bringing that up. Though, maybe if I got to see the real Spock back then I would have known something was wrong."_ Nyota said with a sigh. _"I never really saw passed the façade when we were together. I was not allowed to until we were friends and even then, James still sees more than I do. That's the way it If should be."_ Nyota said pointing.

 _"They are practically having sex on the dance floor."_ Mia said in slight surprise.

 _"I think practically went out the window 20 minutes ago. Those tuxedo pants leave little to the imagination. Good thing Jo Jo is currently eating cake with Sulu and Janus. No child should see this."_ The camera panned around in time to see Dr. McCoy covering Mia's eyes. Nyota was laughing.

"Okay, that was another surprise pairing for the wedding. I had no idea he was dating or rather still dating Janus. Actually, I thought he was gay. He was my backup plan." Jim said smirking. This time Spock did not resist his urge to accost his spouse with a pillow.

"Just because someone enjoys flowers and traditional tea ceremonies does not necessarily mean they are homosexual." Spock reprimanded sharply.

"I know that. I like muscle cars and I had to get Nyota to help pick out the ring because I hate shopping. I also have no sense of color and you are the one who had to decorate our quarters because I had no fucking clue what I was doing." Jim remarked before starting the file again.

 _"I'm 14. I know what sex is. My great great great great grandmother had her first kid at that age and still went on to graduate med school at the top of her class."_ Mia said removing the doctor's hands from her eyes. " _Besides, my parents are worse than those two. I really don't want to talk about what I caught them doing in the living room this morning."_ Mia stuttered as she finished. _"My mom did say she wanted lots of fluffy stuff for the wedding video."_

 _"I doubt she meant pornography though._ " The Doctor said on screen.

"Oh god, we weren't that bad." James groaned.

"Yes, you were." Dr. McCoy shouted back over the intercom system.

 _"While she is not here I'm taking over her special project."_ Mia responded on screen.

 _"What special project?"_ Nyota asked.

_"Mom has been going around for the last couple months asking all of Jim and Spock's friends and family to share their real thoughts on the happy couple."_

_"Is that why she got in a fight with Jim's mom 95 minutes ago?"_  Dr. McCoy asked sardonically.

_"They really don't get along. My mom will not tell me everything but I think it has something to do with how Jim was treated as a child."_

_"I assume you need to add our interviews to the pile."_ Nyota asked nonchalantly.

 _"Of course. Besides this thing needs as many former significant others as possible for maximum embarrassment potential."_ Mia said smirking

 _"Talk to Shawn later. He knows most of them."_ Nyota told the young girl.

 _"Why do I have a feeling that Mia was responsible for the Jim Kirk ex club file?"_ Spock said nothing but mentally resolved to watch the file as soon as possible.

 _"That's going to be so much fun. I could probably blackmail my favorite big brother into good Christmas presents this year."_ Dr. McCoy proceeded to roll his eyes at Mia's words.

_"If you think you're going to get me to say something profound about the wonders of marriage and love I'm going to need something with more alcohol. Marriage is a miserable and outdated institution. I think they are both [expletive] crazy and will kill each other by their first anniversary."_

_"You don't really believe that?"_ Nyota questioned.

_"After surviving a divorce were the only thing I was left with was my bones, yes."_

_"Jim is not you and Spock is definitely not your ex wife."_ Nyota retorted. _"You have to let go."_

 _"Of course, not. Spock actually expresses emotions more often than my ex."_ Again the sarcasm was obvious, as well as, an apparent defense mechanism. James was actually showing visible shock at that statement.

_"Also unlike my marriage, there is real love there. It's pretty damn obvious every time one of the idiots end up getting themselves in my sick bay. The other one usually has to be dragged out of my sick bay under duress and possible sedation. They argue all the time but they always make up. Of course, this usually doesn't happen until Jim calls me at some ungodly hour asking for advice on how to get his hobgoblin back."_

_"That must be awful for you."_ Mia said almost mockingly but the doctor did not pick up on her tone.

_"Damn right it is. I am a doctor damn it, not a marriage counselor."_

_"That's not what Jimmy said. I thought you also have a counselor's license?"_ Mia asked and the doctor just put his head on the table.

 _"Sometimes, I think you are Jim's sister by blood."_ The doctor grumbled.

 _"That is as pleasant as you are going to get from him."_ Nyota remarked.

 _"You're probably right."_ Mia said with a roll of her eyes. "Your turn. What are your well wishes for the happy couple?"

 _"Jim and Spock, I wish you both a lifetime of love and joy with each other. I wish you peace and happiness. Congratulations."_ Nyota spoke with genuine happiness as she raised her glass.

 _"Now, that I remember from the real wedding video."_ Jim whispered softly.

_"Now that we have something that mom can put in her overly sentimental official video tell me what you really want to say to the happy couple?"_

_"Sometimes Jim, I don't know how we became best friends. I mean most guys who tried to get in my pants within 30 seconds of meeting me usually get the hell kicked out of them. Oh wait, that actually happened."_ She said with a smile.

 _"Yet, somehow we became friends. You are not just my friend, your one of my best friends. You know things about me no one else does. You're also an excellent wing man during shore leave."_ There was laughter at that.

"What does wing man mean?" Spock asked his husband.

"I help find her suitable 'company'. Really, I don't know why you play stupid sometimes you know exactly what we are talking about." James replied as he stopped the file shortly before starting again.

 _"Jim I love you as a friend and I know you love Spock. I knew before you did."_ Nyota laughed.

 _"Really?"_ Mia asked.

_"It was so obvious that I was taking him to gay clubs so Jim would meet a nice guy and not end up with my boyfriend."_

_"That plan didn't work so well."_ Dr. McCoy mumbled from his seat.

 _"Not at all. They were both head over feet in love with each other. Jim I don't need to say this to you because you know better but to your husband, if you do anything to Jim as stupid as what you did to me I will cut off your dick. Again, congratulations."_ The file stopped a few seconds after that when someone called for a doctor in regards to the admiral's allergic reaction.

"For some reason, I believe she was completely serious." Jim said with a shiver.

"I concur."

"Since I like your dick, don't do anything stupid."

"I will try not to." Spock said quickly giving James a Vulcan kiss that the doctor did not complain about.

"Good."


	5. Interlude: Starfleet intelligence Interview 22641007d 'Lieutenant Cupcake' of Enterprise and Interview 22641016b Dr. Natalia Malone Ph.D. of Iowa

The last eight days of Nyota's life seem to be a fuzzy blur filled with dead bodies and extremely uncomfortable conversations. She was supposed to be drinking sugary run laced cocktails on an island somewhere as Shawn tried to find her a suitable hook up for her vacation. Instead, she was back on earth because of an assassination attempt, trying to unravel a secret plot that would shake Starfleet to its core. The attack left eight people dead including the best member of her team. She always hated it when someone on her team died but the circumstances this time made it worse. This was more than just some random incident but rather a conspiracy that reached the higher echelons of Starfleet.

Enterprise was not supposed to lead the negotiations on the planet designated as J3X2Y, instead the diplomatic focus ship the Kissinger and its new captain of six months Hikaru Sulu were originally assigned to the mission. A certain Admiral who was a close companion to another admiral who was recently dismissed for various things including making inappropriate remarks about key allies and personnel argued that a more experience captain should lead the negotiations. It should have been the first clue to everyone involved that something was not right when Admiral Williams suggested that Captain James Kirk take over. She has not said one kind word about Jim since he became a captain almost six years ago, Williams hated Jim for various reasons including his age and supposed arrogance. Rumor has it she hated Jim because George Kirk chose Winona over her when they were at the academy together.

Unfortunately, neither Admiral Pike nor Barnett was there to argue against the reassignment. Admiral Pike was getting ready to leave with his boyfriend on a long deserved vacation and took a few days off to prepare. (Nyota's original present for Jim and Spock was going to be a first anniversary party on Risa filled with lots of friends and family.)

Admiral Barnett was called away for a parent teacher conference because Mia got in a fight with a fellow classmate. Only in hindsight does it seem suspicious that Williams' daughter decided to attack Mia Barnett during lunch with the type of speech that got a certain Admiral fired. Both men would have instantly known something was wrong if they were there. Admiral Pike knew nothing about the delayed shore leave until he received a very angry e-mail from Jim. By that point, he could not change anything and now they were dealing with the fallout of a situation that screamed diplomatic conspiracy.

As acting captain, it was Nyota's job to find out what really happened on planet and it was already evident that things were more complicated than outward appearances dictate. The reason why she was acting captain involved recent promotions, Dr. McCoy refusing to do anything not involving a sick bay, and Scotty doing something stupid enough to get him on probation after three months detail studying the after effects of a planet being destroyed by a black hole.

Her still being alive to become acting captain was due in part to Jim Kirk being paranoid. She was originally scheduled to be part of the negotiation team until Jim's paranoia kicked and he decided he didn't want the majority of his senior officers down on the planet. It was a decision she was grateful for now. She remembered the conversation so well.

"Really, if something goes wrong, I don't want Scotty in charge." Jim explained but she felt like it was an excuse. Sometimes she felt like Jim kept her from certain missions because he felt she could not handle it. Nyota knew that was ridiculous, he wouldn't be training her for the role of captain otherwise. However, it's still felt that way.

"Nor can he be because he's still on probation. I'm not going to be in charge if your stupidity finally does kill you." The doctor growled. "The only reason why I wanted to be on planet is to save your ass faster if you accidentally eat something you're allergic to, again."

"It was one time." Jim said in his defense. This just earned Jim dirty looks from both her and Bones. She has lost count of how many times Jim has had an allergic reaction on a mission or during a perfectly normal lunch for that matter.

"You're being paranoid but you're also in charge." She acquiesced.

Of course, 24 hours later she would know that Jim wasn't paranoid when his heart stopped twice on the table and his husband spent the better part of the day in a coma. She wanted to cry but she didn't have time to. With Jim and Spock incapacitated and Dr. McCoy busy trying to keep the virus from spreading she had a job to do.

Her first priority was to keep everyone alive which meant preparing for a second attack and containing the virus. Her second priority was to notify Starfleet of what happened. At this point, she did not see this as anything other than on away mission going wrong. It wasn't that unusual because Jim Kirk had a tendency to attract trouble. In addition, because the virus infected humans much more harshly than the inhabitants of the planet it seemed logical to conclude that this was an attempt by some on planet faction to derail negotiations. Most of the other side became violently ill but there were only two fatalities.

That assumption was forgotten after the security team discovered the delivery device in the supplies of the now deceased Lieutenant Ortega. This fact was kept close hold, only her, Dr. McCoy, Admiral McMillan, and Admiral Pike knew about this. Let's just say Admiral Pike was not happy about losing his vacation due to the assassination attempt. She assumed that once Jim and Spock were healthy again they would be filled in on what was happening. That did not happen.

As far as the couple and the rest of the Federation were concerned they would be in medical quarantine as everyone else on the ship enjoyed their shore leave as scheduled. In reality, they were in protective custody hidden away from whoever wanted Jim and Spock out of the way. They were also provided very little information about how the investigation was going. It was Admiral Pike who decided to use subterfuge as a means of protection. (This should not surprise her considering what he forgot to tell Spock recently.)

"With all due respect Admiral, Captain Kirk and Commander Spock will be highly irate when they have discovered that you kept all information related to the assassination attempt from both of them in some misguided attempt to protect the pair." Nyota pointed out.

"I don't really care if they're mad at me. It wouldn't be the first time. For their safety and others, the fewer people who know what happened on that planet the better. It does not matter right now because they are still recovering from a near death experience and I don't want them doing something stupid such as taking part in the investigation. Captain, I suggest you focus on finding out who is responsible for what happened instead of focusing on how others will react because they were left out." She was confused for a moment before she realized that he was referring to her.

"Yes, sir." She said as she literally bit her tongue to keep from saying something else slightly disrespectful before signing off. Instead, she channeled her anger into discovering what happened. Because her area of expertise was anything related to communications it was obvious that she would start the investigation by looking at various transmissions coming in and out of the ship. It was quickly notice that certain files were missing including several transmissions and security footage. Thanks to Jim Kirk being overly paranoid, a backup copy of all transmissions and video footage was automatically sent to another server for storage. The backup security files showed exactly who was responsible for putting the virus delivery device there in the first place.

The person who was responsible for killing six crew members and two members of J3X2Y's diplomatic team was someone that she has known since her academy days. Apparently, Jim called a certain Lieutenant Cupcake one too many times. (Because she's so angry that a colleague would do something like that she cannot even use his real name. For the rest of this mental rant she will be referring to him as 'Lieutenant Cupcake'.) According to the video file, it was him who put the virus in Lieutenant Ortega's supplies.

"You really thought you could destroy the evidence? I thought you had to have a certain amount of intelligence to actually get into the academy. Apparently, I was wrong." She spat with a smirk as she stood just in side his cell. She had two security officers with her just in case but she needed to do this without glass being in the way. Nyota would love it if he did something stupid so they would have an excuse to use their phasers.

This was her first interrogation where she took the lead but this was not the first time she has participated in something like this. She knew what she was doing and had a high security clearance for a reason. At the Academy Nyota occasionally functioned as a translator during certain interrogations for Starfleet intelligence that were completely off the books so much so that she's not at liberty to discuss it and electronic translation was ill-advised. She learns several techniques (not all of which are Federation legal) from witnessing the sessions. She utilized those during this.

"What evidence?" He smirked at her as he replied in a flippant tone. She personally wanted to smack that expression off his face.

"To begin with, there is the video footage of you deleting various files from the server. Then there is the 100,000 credits wire to your account three days ago. You know the one that your paychecks don't get deposited into. That did not make much of a difference, it took Starfleet intelligence 3 hours to find the account." She said with a wicked smirk.

"My uncle died recently. It was my inheritance." She rolled her eyes mentally but her face remained neutral. There was no record of anything like that happening. "There's nothing wrong with how I got the money."

"Then why didn't the money go in to your normal account?" Nyota asked but he stayed silent. "Even if that was true there is something wrong with deleting files you're not supposed to." Nyota said calmly.

"It was an accident." He scoffed. "Besides, you have no idea what I deleted." He replied smugly. That's when she laughed.

"Did you know that Enterprise is the only ship in Starfleet that has a security System that makes backup copies of every transmission and video file, that is then stored in an undisclosed location?" She turned around holding up her PADD screen for him to see the video file of him placing the N4H7d3Q1 virus in Lieutenant Ortega's bag. "Other than this wonderful piece of footage, we also have copies of various messages you received from whoever is pulling the strings. There is also another video file of you receiving the various components for the virus and delivery device. Do I need to go on?" She said looking directly at her prisoner as he stared at the screen. His eyes were wide and his body was trembling slightly.

"You will anyway." He said regaining his composure.

"I don't need your confession. I have everything I need to make sure you get to serve multiple life sentences on an ice cold prison planet for murder, conspiracy, and terrorist activities. What I really want to know about is who sent you the virus?" She asked as she removed the PADD.

"How do you know I didn't create the virus myself?" He asked and she laughed again.

"First of all you are not that smart. If you were, you would have known about the backup files and disabled that as well. Second, we have all the messages that you received from your contact. We know you didn't act alone." Again her voice was eerily calm and even.

"I got it from some scientist that has a reason to despise our wonderful captain. He fucked her and left her for some half-alien asshole." With anyone else that would be enough information to figure out who it was but unfortunately Jim Kirk had a scientist kink. Not counting his husband, she can name 10 scientists that Jim Kirk has slept with off the top of her head. At least two of these individuals were on Spock's own team. Fortunately, they have already checked out.

"I NEED A NAME!" She demanded as she stepped closer to the man, eyes as hard as steel.

"Fuck you." he spat in her face. This led to him being forcibly pushed down by his former colleague. It's not her fault that he fell on his bad side. The security team does not take to being betrayed by one of their own very well. On the way down to the holding cell he 'accidentally' fell into a wall or six.

"I don't screw people who murdered their crew mates for the low price of 100,000 credits. I personally feel we are at least worth a million. We just need to know who gave it to you." She replied coolly.

"If you have so much evidence, you figure it out." He turned around to face the wall an obvious sign that he was done talking.

"That's fine. We have time since Captain Kirk is now stable, mostly. It is not like we still need the antidote. Of course, something could still go wrong." She said as she pretended to walk away. "If he does die things will be a lot worse for you."

"I'm already facing multiple life sentences for murder and terrorist activities. It can't get much worse." He called back.

"As long as Commander Spock is incapacitated, I am acting captain and that means you deal with me. You know I'm a very reasonable person and I don't let my personal biases influence my decision-making. You tried to kill my best friend and successfully killed a member of my team, yet, you are still breathing. I think that speaks to how fair I am." She said with a fake smile.

"Excluding the broken ribs, of course." He replied pointing to his bruise skin.

"You didn't get that from me but if you give me a name I will send Dr. Chapel in otherwise I will send Dr. McCoy. I don't think you want to see him right now. He is exhausted from trying to keep our captain from dying. In his exhaustion he may accidentally give you something you're allergic to. That would be tragic." She said in a voice that almost sounded sincere.

"You wouldn't." He said defiantly.

"Exhaustion affects people differently." She smirked.

"I don't care." He said in a tone that told her that he did.

"Then I guess you can deal with Spock when he is in charge again. If you believe in a god, I suggest you pray that nothing else happens to Jim before he sees you. You were here when Spock's mother died. You saw what happen on the bridge." For emphasis, she touched her neck with one hand.

"That won't happen again. I doubt that he actually loves his husband. He's just someone he fucked to get a head." Her response was to laugh at his words.

"It's obvious you lack any true intelligence. Spock loves Jim more than anything else in the world, even his freedom. He will kill you if he loses Jim. More importantly, I will let him." She said signaling for the door to open.

"Natalie Malone." He called out quickly. That was all she needed.

"Christine will be here in 5 minutes." She said shutting the door behind her.

\---  
Nyota recognized the name because of a conversation a few years ago about why neither her nor Jim would be willing to attend their high school reunion, even if they were on planet. Even in high school, Miss Malone was slightly crazy. Let's just say the girl was not at all happy that her supposed boyfriend dumped her for her cousin Nikki. The next week there was an incident involving mislabeled ingredients and Jim spending three days in the hospital because of an almost deathly allergic reaction.

Because Jim stayed quiet about that incident, Malone was later accepted into Starfleet. Unfortunately, she never graduated due to another indiscretion after discovering that her boyfriend of two years cheated on her because he gave her Orion Papillomavirus (OPV). Spock actually remembered her because he was a grad student TA in one of her classes. The reason why Spock remembered her was he was the one who brought her up on charges after she tried to kill her boyfriend in a biology lab. Coincidentally, the now former Admiral that hated Jim was responsible for Malone not receiving anything worse than expulsion and the incident being sealed.

After getting kicked out of Starfleet, Malone went back to Iowa and was accepted in to the chemistry and biology programs at Iowa State. Nepotism of some sort was obviously involved. A year later, she graduated at the top of her class before going on to get her doctorate in biology and chemistry. She ended up with a job at one of the top pharmaceutical firms on Earth. During her short career she has been credited with creating a new vaccine for OPV, HIV3sx, and H7N4OX. If you can create a vaccine for a virus it is logical to assume that you can create a virus.

"Since Dr. Malone was picked up she has refused to cooperate. She denies all involvement and currently claims that her research was stolen. Inadvertently, she did confess to creating the virus in the first place." Pike said with a sigh. Obviously he was upset his vacation was canceled after one of the ships under his command was the target of an extremely deadly attack. He seemed exhausted and Nyota is sure that he has had less sleep in the last 48 hours then she has.

Although considering she hasn't slept in the last 48 hours, Nyota doesn't see how that's possible. Things have been insane on Enterprise. After notifying the Admiralty and starting the investigation into what happened, she had the unfortunate duty of notifying families of their loss. She could have waited for Jim to recover but who knew how long that would take. News of what happened was already being leaked to the public and no one should find out about losing their loved one like that.

After it was discovered that someone onboard was involved with what happened, that triggered an automatic search of the entire ship and a lockdown. So far they have discovered that two others were involved, Ensign Billings and Smith. Neither man liked her very well because she was responsible for both spending a month in cultural sensitivity training after they did something stupid on a mission and let's leave it at that. The security team also found a second 'virus bomb' set to go off whenever the command was given. That is the reason why she is discovering how long she can truly go without sleep.

"I'm surprised she admitted that much." Nyota said on the verge of falling over from exhaustion. "That was a doomsday virus. 5 ml could wipe out every human on ship in under 5 minutes. There's no way that can be legitimate research unless pharmaceutical companies are now manufacturing their own viruses, so they can sell more drugs." She joked trying to lighten the mood but the Admirals in front of her stayed stoic.

"It wouldn't be the first time." She heard Admiral McMillan mumbled under her breath. Nyota wondered why Admiral McMillan was there and not Burnett. The blond woman was in charge of Special Forces. Then again this whole incident falls under the heading of "terrorist activities" and that was her forte.

"Regardless, we need her to talk." Pike interjected.

"I agree. If nothing else we need to know why the virus didn't kill Jim and Spock." She said recalling the conversation she had with Dr. McCoy hours ago. "This is a manmade virus and we could have a surprise waiting for us."

"That's why the captain and commander will remain in quarantine in an undisclosed location as the investigation continues. Their involvement will be minimized." Pike told her.

"That's also why we need you to return to Earth and headquarters." Admiral McMillan added in a voice that obviously meant it was an order.

"Why?" she asked in confusion. It would take days for her to get to Earth from her current location. That was why she was meeting Shawn on Risa originally. (Although their current location was closer to earth than they were before this started.) There had to be a good reason for this request.

On screen the image of the one former member of the Admiralty that she absolutely despised appeared. For security reasons in this mental rant she will only refer to him as Mr. Kay. According to public record, Mr. Kay was dismissed from Starfleet after an interview with Barbara Sawyer proved that there was a reason why everyone refered to him as Admiral KKK. (This was in addition to the other stupid things he did.)

She personally despised the man for being responsible for the throwback uniforms where female officers had to wear skirts so short that you spent half your shift squirming around to make sure the entire bridge crew did not see your panties. The whole thing made her happy that her captain was gay. She always wondered how such a humans-first, homophobic, bigot became an admiral in the first place. Fortunately, he eventually went too far and even his connections could not save him. Ever since he has been on every web show in the quadrant spilling secrets and trying to make his former employers look like morons. He also became the latest spokesman for the supposed it moral majority who want to go back to a time where interspecies relationships were illegal and being gay would get you arrested and/or killed, like what happened on Tarsus IV 16 years ago. Apparently there were a lot more bigots in the closet than most believe. She wasn't surprised because bigotry springs eternal.

"How is Mr. Kay connected to this?" She questioned momentarily forgetting at least one connection she already discovered.

"We are not sure. What we do know is that he blames Jim and Spock for losing his command and left the hearing calling for blood." Pike began.

"I think referring to their marriage as an abomination on a live stream, in addition to other things, was responsible for him being kicked out of Starfleet. The fact that he was inebriated at the time was another contributing factor." Nyota scoffed.

"Some people can't take responsibility for their own actions." Pike said. She would appreciate the irony of that statement in a few days when she is forced to listen to Sean and Chris screaming at each other about the not telling the exes thing.

"Even out here in the middle of nowhere I know about his political posturing. He wants to take Earth back to a time where his type of values were still important. I think that's code for returning to a time where we judge people by the color of their skin and/or planet of origin instead of their actions." She just received peculiar looks from both on screen as she spat out her bitter words.

"You didn't think I would know? Somebody on ship has to keep up with the news on Earth and everywhere else for that matter. Sean always sends me the juicy stuff. I do not know why you are worried about idle threats by someone who is angry that the world isn't the way he thinks it should be. Mr. Kay has no power. If he did, he would still be in Starfleet despite his mistakes or actually have a chance of gaining political office." Nyota scoffed.

"We don't believe his threats are idle. We also believe he still has a lot of power due to his followers. There are a lot more bigots in the closet than we wish." Admiral McMillan said quietly.

"Followers?" Nyota asked in puzzlement. "You mean the faction of the Federation who believes I should have stayed in Africa to pop out another kid from my breadwinner husband and Jim should be married to a nice human woman? Their efforts are usually confined to sending nasty emails to the press office." Nyota snickered.

"If that was the only problem." Pike mumbled under his breath.  
"Kay desires more power by whatever means necessary. We believe that there are certain members in Starfleet that are loyal to Mr. Kay in very high places. The former captain of the Kissinger was one of these. Apparently, there was some sort of conspiracy in the works." Sulu told her some of this tragic story before although he was a bit more blunt. Eight months ago, Sulu was promoted to be first officer of the Kissinger after something quite unfortunate happened to his predecessor. Captain Cook was unhappy he was unable to choose his own XO and said he didn't want a F#$ for a first officer (when he thought no one would hear him). She doesn't understand why everybody thinks Sulu was gay. Then again she has seen Sulu make out with his girlfriend a little too often before his promotion. She also doesn't understand how Cook could manage to become captain of a ship that mostly handled diplomatic missions when he said stupid stuff like that. Maybe it was because unlike the Enterprise, the Kissinger had several diplomats on board that handle most negotiations. Then again, it could have something to do with him being Kay's protégé.

Unfortunately, captain moron said this in a video conference with half the Admiralty present (modern microphones are so sensitive). After the incident with Kay, the powers that be decided that they could not tolerate any conduct that did not live up to 'Federation standards', especially because Cook mostly went on diplomatic missions. They could not risk him saying or doing something inappropriate that could cause an interplanetary incident. This wasn't the first strike against Captain Cook, he also had a few dozen sexual harassment and regular harassment claims pending. After being removed from command due to 'conduct unbecoming of a captain' he died under suspicious circumstances.

Unfortunately, for him, computer files last beyond death and they were extremely incriminating. The files were accidentally discovered when Janice arrived for vacation on the Kissinger, so she could spend some quality time with her boyfriend. (Because they are not married yet, the two do not qualify for tandem assignments. To meet up with the ship she left early before everything happened.) If anybody can find a highly encrypted file on a network, it is Janice. Before his death, Cook was conspiring with an unknown collaborator to manufacture a diplomatic incident that would increase xenophobic sentiment. Unfortunately, these files were not unencrypted until about an hour after the virus was unleashed. Wonderful.

"So I'm assuming that the plan was to blame Jim and Spock's death on the inhabitants of J3X2Y as a political ploy. The murder of the guy who saved earth would trigger anti-alien sentiment and enhance Kay's political position." Nyota said calmly taking everything in.

"Which Mr. Kay started doing before Jane released an official statement regarding the incident." Pike told her. That seems suspicious even to her. How could he hear of the attack so quickly? "If it wasn't for Jim's paranoia we would have never been able to prove that someone on board was responsible for what happened." Pike told her.

"It's not paranoia if somebody really is out to get you. I knew I should have convinced Jim to join Special Forces. His instincts are good." McMillan mumbled under her breath.

"Do you have anything to connect Kay to what happened?" Nyota asked.

"The only thing we have so far was Cook was being mentored by Kay. That's why we need you. We need a confession from Malone to make the connection and short of doing something highly illegal I think you're the only one who can get it from her." Pike told Nyota. He almost sounded sincere. In hindsight, he probably wanted her on Earth to help calm Sean down because he has been a moron recently.

"I doubt that. You have dozens of better qualified interrogators at your disposal. I've worked with a lot of them when I was at the academy. I need to stay here anyway." She explained.

"Exactly, you spent years working with some of the best interrogators in Starfleet. You know all the techniques. You had a confession from the one you refer to as 'Cupcake' in under an hour. Don't worry about Enterprise. The crew is to be sequestered as the investigation continues." McMillan reassured her.

"There has to be someone else. I have a personal connection to those hurt by her virus. It would be a conflict of interest." Nyota said as an excuse.

"That connection may be something that you can exploit. You can play the angry former girlfriend card. You can sympathize with her." McMillan suggested.

"I don't know if I can do that. It may not work anyway. It's possible that Jim was not the initial target. It could've been Spock." Nyota suggested.

"Why do you think that?" Pike questioned.

"First, on most ships the first officer and captain do not take part in the same away missions. Because Spock has more diplomatic training and experience, he usually takes point on these types of missions. Second, if Malone possesses anti-alien believes, he would more likely be her target of choice. Next, Spock was the one who was responsible for her getting kicked out of the academy. She may be craving revenge. Finally, Kay was the one who made sure she only suffered expulsion for almost murdering her boyfriend." Both Admirals looked at her with shocked faces, as they stayed quiet.

"This is why we need you to come." Pike said finally breaking the silence. "No one else noticed those connections."  
\-----  
"How is Earth?" Dr. McCoy asked when she called him on her second day in San Francisco to check up on Jim. To keep up appearances, she was staying at Sean's house and went clubbing the night before. As far as everyone else was concerned, namely Jim and Spock, she was enjoying her shore leave, not trying to find out who tried to kill Jim and Spock, as well as, frame an entire planet for the fiasco.

Since everybody assumed that she was angry that her boyfriend turned out to be gay and left her for Jim Kirk she decided to use it to her advantage. Clubbing with Shawn was really an excuse to chat up various members of the Jim Kirk ex club to see if anybody was sympathetic for Kay's cause. She met several of the exes last year when she helped Jane with her special video project. Unfortunately, Miss Malone was not among those interviewed.

Even though during the height of his sex addiction Jim did some stupid things, nobody seemed mad enough to actually kill Jim let alone trigger an interplanetary incident. Also, because Kay's movement dislikes non-heterosexuals as much as non-humans, that ruled out at least 80% of the Jim Kirk ex club. His lovers had a tendency to be male and/or non-human. Seriously, how did everybody assume that he was straight? Jim Kirk was much more discreet than she ever gave him credit for.

Today she would talk to Malone but first she wanted to check up on Jim and Spock. She wondered if the couple already figured out they were actually in protective custody under the guise of medical quarantine.

"Blue and wet." Nyota responded to the doctor's question.

"Anything else?" He asked.

"Real food tastes better." She joked.

"Damn right. You better remember to bring me some Christmas cookies and whiskey. I deserve something for putting up with the spoiled brat and the hobgoblin." On the surface, he seemed upset about helping to take care of Jim and Spock but she knew deep down that he was there because he cared about his friends.

"I know, I have a shopping list from everyone on board. I really do need to get Janice that gigantic box of good chocolate she asked for." Nyota responded lightly.

"No kidding. Jim teaching his assistant how to break into various files was a good thing." McCoy said knowing about the file everybody is referring to as the K conspiracy.

"Look on the bright side, at least you only have to spend time with Jim and Spock, I get to spend quality time with the Admiralty." She huffed. She's been on planet for less than 24 hours and she's already sat on half a dozen meetings. This wouldn't be so bad if they did not ignore every suggestion that she made.

"At least it is the part of the Admiralty that does not want Jim dead." Leonard joked.

"No, I think a few members do want his blood. They are just smart enough to know that the saviors of Earth dying as part of some grand scheme would cause lots of problems. Do Jim and Spock know what is really going on yet?" She asked.

"The toddler still believes that they are in medical quarantine and that everybody else is off having the time of their life not being subjected to interrogation, imprisonment, or investigating this grand conspiracy. It is a miracle after he hacked into the classified archives." She sighed. Pike was an idiot if he thought that locking Jim Kirk in a room and controlling what information he received would keep him from knowing the truth. If the man had computer access, he would know everything. The same goes for Spock. "He ripped through the extra security in moments. Fortunately, Jim was too distracted trying to find a classified interview that his other mommy conducted with other Spock." The doctor spat out in irritation.

"Do I want to know?" She asked mimicking Spock's trademark eyebrow raise.

"Not really." The doctor sighed.

"You can't find anything in that system if you do not know what you're looking for. It's horrible. Though Pike should've known better than to try to keep the K conspiracy a secret." She said with annoyance. Is it wrong to think that your boss is a complete bastard despite his competency in his occupation? "I'm only going along with his orders because I don't want to stress Jim and Spock out."

"From what I understand, the dick has been keeping a lot of things secret recently." The doctor snorted most likely referring to Pike not telling Spock about being engaged.

"Personally, I think he asked Jane to leak the engagement thing so the couple will have something else to focus on besides the fact that somebody wanted both Jim and Spock dead." She said with another annoyed sigh.

"Probably," The doctor snorted.

"However, our favorite member of the Admiralty feels so bad about what happen that he agreed for Jim and Spock to receive a special anniversary meal tomorrow." She said with a sparkling smile.

"If they behave, they can have it. However, no alcohol and I'm still not letting those two have sex. I don't care if they're not really in quarantine, the moron almost died twice. Jim needs to recuperate before they participate in their usual activities."

"I'm sure Jim knows that." She argued.

"You'll see." The doctor said right before he let Jim and Spock know that she was calling. During her short conversation she realized that the doctor was right.

After several days in Federation custody Natalie Malone still claimed she had nothing to do with the attack. During yesterday's interrogation, she didn't say a word. This would be the last day they would be able to talk to Malone without her legal counsel present, even if the woman was facing terrorism and conspiracy charges.

"Even if the virus was stolen from your lab, you're still in a lot of trouble for creating it in the first place. The unlawful creation of a biological Weapon is a highly punishable offense in itself even if you never plan to use it." Nyota heard Admiral McMillan say to Miss Malone in pure anger. Every word dripped with Venom. She hasn't seen the woman this angry since she attacked Scotty after Jim and Spock's wedding. Although considering the man almost killed her because he was trying to make the wedding more festive, Nyota can understand why.

"I was not actively creating a 'biological Weapon' as you phrased it. I was working on a universal flu vaccine that was truly universal and only had to be given once. The creation of N4H7d3Q1 was an accidental side effect. The good news is because your friends survived, they will never ever be able to contract any strain of the flu again." Malone replied smugly.

"I don't believe you. You could have destroyed the virus especially if it was an accidental product of your research. But you didn't and somehow your virus ended up light years away resulting in several deaths and made numerous others extremely ill including Captain James Kirk who you went to high school with." That bit of information was unknown to McMillan until Nyota told her. The shock look on Malone's face told Nyota that she wasn't expecting any one to pick up on that connection.

"As I told you multiple times before, the virus was stolen from my laboratory. I have nothing to do with what happened. This wasn't some silly revenge plot on my part for him deciding to take my Cousin to a school dance instead of me. I didn't care about it back then and I don't care about it now." Malone said crossing her arms against her chest. Nyota laughed at that point.

"What's so funny commander?" McMillan said turning around.

"She's lying. She cared about Jim dumping her for Nikki at the time at the very least. She arranged for an accident that landed him in the hospital for days. His allergies were legendary even then." Malone's body became motionless at that and Nyota started to notice that sweat dripping from her forehead. That seemed peculiar because the room was freezing.

"That's not on here." McMillan said looking at her PADD.

"That's because Jim was too nice of a person to report it because Nikki asked him not to. His then boyfriend didn't want his cousin to end up in jail on an attempted murder charge." Nyota told Mcmillan. Malone just laughed.

"That's a fucking lie. He never really cared about Nikki, otherwise he wouldn't have left the way he did. Nikki cried for days. How do you know so much about Jimmy?" She questioned.

"He was my friend until he stole my boyfriend." The lie easily fell from her lips.

"Typical Jim." Malone mumbled under breath. "He is a bastard whenever he thinks with his dick but I don't want him dead. I told you I was working on a universal flu vaccine that would work with everyone. That doomsday virus actually functions as intended on Vulcans, those with psychic links to Vulcans and a few other species. Unfortunately, with humans it's deadly." She looked almost sick by that point.

"So that means it would still work on your real target because he is half human. If you don't wish Jim any ill will, maybe you want to target his husband instead. Commander Spock was responsible for getting you kicked out of the academy." Nyota mentioned casually.

"No, he wasn't. Mr. Spock just wanted me to seek medical treatment for my issues. I just needed to spend two years in a treatment facility and I would be able to come back if I could pass the psychological evaluation. My father couldn't handle that so he called in a favor. The problem with favors is that they leave you in debt to people who you don't want to be in debt to." Her breath was labored at this point.

"Are you OK?" She nodded her head yes but Nyota could tell that was a lie.

"Fortunately, I'm smarter than my debtor. His plan didn't work because I gave him the wrong virus." Each word became labored as Malone spoke.

"WHO WAS THIS PERSON?" McMillan yelled. That's when Malone collapsed. Within seconds, the room was filled with security officers screaming and yelling as they tried to get Malone breathing again.

"She's dead." One of the doctors said 10 minutes later. That was when Nyota finally accepted that the situation was much more complicated than somebody just wanting Jim Kirk dead.

To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus question: I unintentionally put a quote in here from a TV show without realizing it until I was editing. It works so well that I kept it in. Bonus points to anyone who could identify the quote and the TV show.


	6. File name: Interview number 22631018a the 'Jim Kirk ex club' San Francisco and Enterprise Chapters

Jim has always liked Shawn, usually. Of all the individuals he slept with during what Jim personally refers to as his "thank god, I didn't die of some STI" phase, Jim could actually have a conversation with him when his mouth was not otherwise 'occupied'. Not that Jim would really tell him much, but at least Shawn knew that Jim was more than a pretty face. Now that he was dating Jim's surrogate father and was best friends with Jim's best friend, they knew each other better. Shawn was a pretty cool guy to be around, despite the complete awkwardness of the situation considering, Shawn was about to marry Spock's ex. Right now Jim thinks the guy was a complete ass.

 

First, Jim was upset that Shawn only replied to him. Because his husband is a possessive bastard, Spock was not very happy about Shawn contacting Jim directly. (Spock denies that he is a possessive bastard on the grounds that his parents were actually married at the time of conception, yet he did not deny his jealous tendencies.) The most incriminating part of Shawn's e-mail was finding out that Ny was planning a super secret anniversary party during shore leave (although, there was probably a lot of stuff deliberately left out of that message in the first place).

 

That gave Jim another reason to despise the absolutely insane Natalie. He should have had her arrested for attempted murder in high school. Although, nowhere near as good as Spock, Nikki used his mouth to convince Jim not to press charges and talking was not involved. If Jim learned not to think with certain parts back then, he would not have Eight dead crewmembers to worry about.

 

Jim has had to deal with a sullen Vulcan for the last 2 hours because of not being CCed on a simple e-mail. (Not that Spock will admit to being sullen.) Jim wasn't sure they were going to make it to dinner without an argument breaking out. Unfortunately, they could not use sex to make up afterwards as they normally do. Sometimes, he starts arguments just for that reason. (Stupid Doctor.)

 

The second reason why Jim was angry with Shawn right now is Jim knows he was the one who provided Jane with a list of names of some of Jim's former significant others. Jim doesn't know how Shawn had the information in the first place but if anybody had such a listing it would probably be Shawn. Sometimes, Jim thinks the lawyer thing was just a cover for Shawn's real position in Starfleet, most likely with Special Forces. The man usually knows everything and he spent way too much time with Admiral McMillan for his own good.

 

The third reason why Jim currently hates Shawn, was because without his cooperation the Jim Kirk ex club footage would most likely not exist. If it did not exist, Jim would not be forced to watch it with his husband who was channeling his inner Cave-Vulcan at the moment. If they were actually allowed to have sex, Jim would so not be getting any. Actually, if they were allowed to have sex right now Spock would probably have him bent over a desk or up against a wall. It was an either or thing.

 

Once they started watching the 'video file of torture', reason number four became Shawn was hosting this section along with Nyota. There was no Jane or Mia participating, which surprised Jim. He was glad the then 14 year old was not there because Jim did not want his almost baby sister to hear about some of the stupid things he has done over the years. He also doesn't want to give her any ideas. If Spock and he decided to utilize his husband's extra parts and have children someday, he shudders at the thought of their children finding out any of this stuff or being exactly like him, for that matter.

 

"Traitor," Jim mumbled under his breath as the two sat in front of the camera. Ny was in so much trouble for this. She would have to bring him a good present from Earth for him to forgive her for this breach of the best friend code.

 

Jim was positive this was filmed at Zachary's pizzeria five blocks from campus. Because that was Jim's favorite near campus restaurant, he instantly recognized the decor. He would go there all the time because he got tired of playing Russian roulette with his food allergies in the Starfleet cafeteria and they had the best gluten free pizza around. Jim took Spock to the restaurant the day before the wedding for the vegetarian lover's pizza. If Jim remembered correctly, he slept with the owner's daughter or was it son. Jim really could not remember at this point. Though, it must have been an amicable breakup because he was still allowed in the restaurant.

 

Jim's first year at the academy was an alcohol fuelled blur when he was not chained to a desk, metaphorically speaking. If he was not a complete genius, he would have been completely fucked that first year. If he kept that behavior up, he deftly would not have graduated at all, let alone in three years. Let us be honest, if it was not for Jane, Pike, and, helping to save earth, he would have been expelled, anyway. Pike was the one who saved him the most from his road of self-destruction. He should probably thank whoever drugged him up that night Chris had to pick him up, despite getting yelled out for ruining his good time. That was when Jim realized who Pike was sleeping with at the time and he smiled to himself for ruining their night. Okay, so Spock was not the only jealous bastard in their relationship. At least, Jim was in touch enough with his emotions to actually admit to that.

 

 _"Jim and Spock, you are probably on a remote tropical island on an undisclosed planet doing activities that are illegal in at least 30% of the Federation as we record this."_ Nyota said with an all too innocent smile. Jim was mentally calculating the date and realized that he and Spock were doing something really inappropriate in the men's room at a supposedly family restaurant in Hawaii. Since they were already on earth, there was no point going to another planet for the honeymoon.

 

 _"Jim has a bondage kink and enjoys a little D/s. It has to be at least 65 percent."_ Shawn said with an evil smirk. That would be reason five for disliking Shawn today Jim said mentally, especially considering the angry glare he was getting from his pissed off hubby.

 

"Spock he's joking. It just so happened that he guessed the truth. I will have you know I never actually trusted anybody but you to do anything involving whips, chains, handcuffs, or strangling. Hell, I barely bottomed for anyone else. That is stuff I only do with you." Jim said pausing the file just long enough for him to speak. That seemed to placate Spock momentarily.

 

 _"Anyway, after a suggestion from your favorite pseudo little sister we decided,"_ Shawn shot her an angry glare at her words. " _Okay, I decided that we should interview some of your ex 'significant others’ for Jane special project. I think they would have an interesting perspective on the situation."_

 

 _"I don't think significant others would be the term I would use."_ Shawn added tactfully _. "Basically, Ny got tired of every reporter in the quadrant asking her how she felt about her former boyfriend marrying a notorious 'playboy'. She wanted to turn the tables or maybe she just wanted to be the one annoying other people for a change."_ Ny rolled her eyes in irritation at his comment. She was scary as hell when she was pissed off.

 

 _"That's not true."_ That caused her to receive another dark look from Shawn _. "Okay, it's a little true. I am mostly doing this interview because Admiral Barnett has barred his wife from doing any more of these interviews after your husband had to render her unconscious at the reception."_ Shawn snorted at that.

 

" _According to Chris, Admiral Barnett confiscated her camera. That's why Nyota's here for this annual meeting of the Jim Kirk ex club."_ Shawn said with a laugh. Jim rolled his eyes.

 

 _"You actually call yourself that?"_ Nyota asked. Shawn just shrugged before several others entered the table. There were only five additional individuals sitting at the table and all were people that Jim actually had something close to a relationship with. At least, by his pre Spock definition of the term, which meant having sex for more than two weeks, even if it was nonconsecutive. There was not exactly a lot of communication going on back then with his 'bed partners'. Every time someone pushed for more Jim would run the hell away.

 

Jim watched with morbid fascination as everyone introduced himself or herself to Ny and explained exactly when they 'dated' Jim and how everything fell apart. First, there was now Lieutenant Todd Tannen. He was five years Jim's junior. Jim really did date Todd for two months during Jim's third year at the academy. Jim ended whatever they had so he could seduce Gaila with a clean conscience for his Kobayashi Maru scheme. (As clean as a conscience as you can have when you are having sex with somebody for the sole purpose of breaking into an exam to make it fair. Yes, he was a complete dick for what he did. Unfortunately, Gaila didn't live long enough for him to realize that. He felt like a complete bastard when Ny told him how Gaila reacted to finding out he used her.)

 

Jim remembered Todd because he served on Enterprise in the engineering department for three years before taking a position at the academy to take care of his sister's children after she died. Jim was happy to give him a recommendation to work at the academy because he wanted no child to go through what he did because his mom was too busy with her career. Personally, Jim was surprised he survived working with Scotty for that long. Todd was a bit of a perfectionist and neat freak just like Spock. Maybe that's the real reason he transferred. Though, Todd was much more willing to bend the rules. Jim was sure he was the one responsible for half the special 'polls' in engineering.

 

Next, there was Dr. Marisol Quinn from the summer after Jim's first year at the academy. She was a psych major who enjoyed trying to get into Jim's head when they were together. Even though she didn't find out all the nasty details she did know that Jim was raped at some point in the past because Jim reacted the wrong way when she discussed sexual assault as a war tactic. She stopped returning his phone calls when he refused to talk to his Starfleet appointed therapist about what happened. She was convinced that he could never have a real relationship with anybody if he didn't deal with that trauma. (Okay, so maybe she was right, Spock did know everything. However, Jim was never going to tell her that.) At least, she was kind enough to keep this real story to herself with some lie about losing interest, but Jim filled in the details for Spock.

 

Jim promised himself that he would avoid all lovers from empathic or telepathic species after that disaster but that went out the window when he met Spock. It turns out touched telepathy can be really good in the bedroom. It can also be great when you have a sore throat or lose your voice due to screaming too much during bedroom fun time.

 

Jim mentally cursed himself when he remembered that she was the new ship psychologist who will be joining the crew after this mess was finished. They are going to need a new therapist on ship after what happen. Eight crew members were died. They rarely lost that many at one time. Due to his recent near death experience, Jim knew that Bones was going to force him to spend quality time with the dear doctor. It was most likely going to be a direct order from headquarters. Great, more Starfleet ordered therapy. He was so screwed.

 

Next to her was Dr. Kim Burley wearing her uniform that clashed horribly with her orange skin. Kim was not her real name but that was what she went by on the ship. Even with intensive tutoring from his female best friend, Jim still couldn't pronounce the lieutenants real name and she's been on the ship on and off for the last six years. Jim thinks that she only joined Starfleet to find the next wonder drug or a cure for breast cancer. Thanks to her specialization in the medical field, she did a few details with pharmaceutical companies throughout the Federation as part of some plan to rehabilitate Starfleet's much damage image after the disaster that was the battle of Vulcan. She returned to Enterprise after the wedding and was currently on Spock's science team. Kim was the one who saved his ass last week after everything went to hell.

 

"You slept with Lieutenant Kim-born-ook-li?" Spock asked pronouncing her name correctly with his perfect Vulcan tongue. There were much more fun things Jim wished he could be doing with that tongue right now.

 

"It was nearly eight years ago and only for a few weeks until she decided it would be a conflict of interest to sleep with a student in a class that she was the TA for. You know I have a thing for science blue and people who are scary smart. Intelligence is my biggest turn on, that's why I love you." Spock seemed happier after Jim said that, marginally.

 

"Don't go all territorial on her. If it wasn't for her, we would both be dead right now. She was the one who developed the antidote for our killer virus. Personally, I'm really happy you're not dead." Jim reminded his husband.

 

"Of course," Spock said in a tone that told Jim he was still a little annoyed even if he was glad Jim was not dead as well.

 

Spock turned his attention back to the screen just in time to hear Malcolm explain his dating history with Jim. He did not need to introduce himself because he has also been a member of Spock's science team at various points over the last six years. His husband did not look happy at all. He doesn't understand why Spock was so cranky since he did tell him about Malcolm. It was one of Jim's longer 'relationships' at the academy and therefore he thought he should tell Spock about it. That one fell apart because he refused to explain why he would not under any circumstances whatsoever visit his mother for Christmas or any other holiday in the Federation. Jim would tell himself that Spock must have forgotten about that conversation but Vulcans do not forget.

 

Finally, there was now Captain Daniel West, who was the only member this group that predated Jim's time at the academy. They met at the same bar that he met Ny at years ago. They slept together whenever Daniel was in town on and off again for about two years. Of course, Jim never trusted him enough for it to go beyond that. He never even told Daniel his last name or that he was George Kirk's son. Jim did show off his intelligence around Daniel resulting in Daniel e-mailing Jim for homework help when Jim finally agreed to give him an e-mail address. Years later, Jim found out from Chris that it was Daniel that suggested he checked out this slacker genius from Iowa who did differential equations for fun. Chris had no idea he was George's kid until later. (It made Jim happy that he actually impressed somebody on his own merits.)

 

"I'm surprised that I actually remember everyone at the table." Jim mumbled to himself completely forgetting about superior Vulcan hearing.

 

"I am surprise they're all able to sit at the same table." Spock mumbled back. That sounded like something a certain cranky doctor would say. Jim would say something about most of his pre Spock hookups were dead but he did not feel like being morbid.

 

"Okay, you have been spending way too much time around Bones." Jim said in anger pausing the video file. "You know that I was not a virgin when we got together and neither were you. Let it go. I don't get all caveman and stuff when you have lunch with Nyota or have to spend an entire day doing a video conference with Chris." Jim said poignantly. He was completely cool with Spock spending time with Ny. It would be hypocritical otherwise because he spent so much time with her. Chris was a little different although not because he was jealous. Every time Spock had to spend significant time with his ex-boyfriend, Spock had to spend at least 2 hours meditating afterwards. The only other thing that causes a reaction like that was when Spock had to have a deep meaningful conversation with his father. Jim does not like that after so long Chris still has the power to hurt Spock without even trying.

 

"I have only had two relationships' of significance." Spock shot back.

 

"That's one more than me and that was back in high school. If anyone has the right to be jealous, it's me. You almost married someone else. Sex is not a relationship." Jim was practically screaming at him by that point.

 

"You had a more significant emotional relationship with Ny, despite the fact that you were never sexually attracted to her and things never progressed beyond groping and lackluster make out sessions, then any relationship I had with anyone sitting at that table. Wait, I take that back. I have a pretty close relationship with Nyota myself and I never slept with her. Actually, I probably have a closer relationship to Kim and Malcolm now that I'm just their commanding officer and their direct supervisor's spouse. I didn't even know that Malcolm grew up on a colony until I started forcing you to do those monthly dinners with your team to improve morale after we got married." He was frustrated at this point but Spock did not interrupt.

 

"Every person out there was just somebody I had sex with. Actually, that's too nice of a word, 'fuck' would be more accurate. Do you want to re watch the last 10 minutes to hear again why things fell apart with everyone at that table?" Jim said sarcastically.

 

"That will not be necessary. Except in the case of Lieutenant Tannen, your liaisons ended because you kept everyone at an emotional distance." Spock said pointedly. The irony that those words were coming from Spock was not lost on him.

 

"I'm sure if I scheduled to take the Kobayashi Maru two weeks later we would have broken up for the same reason. You are the only person in the universe that I can be completely emotionally honest with." Under normal circumstances, Spock would be face down on the bed with his pants and underwear somewhere else during this conversation. (Stupid doctor.)

 

"You broke up with Lieutenant Tannen because you felt it was morally wrong to seduce someone else for the sole purpose of cheating on an exam while still in an 'arrangement' with someone else." Spock reminded him. Jim should have never told Spock the whole story.

 

"First, it's not cheating if you're making the exam fair for everyone. My modifications are still being used in the new version of the exam. It was your idea to suggest that change to the Admiralty." That got Jim the Vulcan version of an eye roll.

 

"Second, if you were paying attention to the intros you would know that Todd still thinks that we broke up because I didn't want to do a long distance relationship after graduation. I didn't even trust him enough to tell him the real reason. You are the only one who knows why I really ended things. That alone proves that I trust you more." Jim said slightly annoyed.

 

"Maybe," Was Spock's calculated response.

 

"If you're going to act like this we shouldn't keep watching. I have other things I can do like trying to break in to whatever Starfleet has that is filtering the news that we're getting. We're not even getting the Admiral's Sit Rep. They're probably filtering e-mails too. Although, I wish they would do a better job with the stuff from Sawyer." Other than the no sex thing, the isolation was really starting to get to him. It was probably getting to Spock too because he was so edgy.

 

"Do you think that Nyota is purposely keeping something from us?" Spock asked in old high Vulcan practically out of nowhere but Jim could see the connection. The only time Spock switched into the dead language was when he felt that they were being listened in on and psychic communication was not possible. Because the language was the basis for all Vulcan based languages the universal translator had a difficult time coming up with an accurate translation. Other than Spock, only two people in Starfleet understood the language enough to hold a conversation and the other person was on earth right now. Considering that Bones kept making color commentary during the ex club break up stories, Jim was sure that they had at least one person listening in. It wasn't that he did not trust Bones, it was that he only trusted Spock implicitly. Then he remembered Bones threat to show the video footage of any sexual activities to his father in law. They were being videotaped and that meant most of Starfleet was watching this.

 

"Probably," Jim said responding in the same language. If they switch to psychic communication, it would look suspicious. Jim wanted to keep it that way, "I do not understand why she could not give us a little update. I wonder if Natalie has cracked yet?"

 

"If she knew such a thing she could not comment on that. She was deliberately keeping information from us." Spock replied.

 

"How could you tell?" Jim asked his husband.

 

"She kept pulling her skirt." Jim rolled his eyes. "She only does that when she is highly uncomfortable or lying."

 

"If I acted like you, I would be really upset that you spend enough time looking at your ex-girlfriend's legs for you to pick up on something like that." Jim said sarcastically or as sarcastically as you could in a language that was not designed to convey emotion. The annoyed facial expressions helped.

 

"What are you two knuckleheads talking about?" Bones asked breaking up the private conversation.

 

"I was talking dirty to my husband in Vulcan." Jim said knowing that the doctor was not familiar enough with the language to know that Jim was lying, mostly. "He gets off on it. You said no sex. You said nothing about me not being able to talk my husband off." Jim said with a supposedly innocent smile.

 

"For the love of all that is holy, stop that. No wonder you went through so many significant others. You are insatiable. Just go back to watching the goddamn video." Bones groused.

 

"Fine," Jim said purposely grabbing Spock's hand.

 

"Something's definitely going on." He sent across the link. Spock did not respond immediately, instead, he put the video file back on. Why did Jim think this was some sort of punishment for a crime he is not sure that he committed?

 

 _"How do you all know each other?"_ The Nyota on-screen asked once all introductions were finished.

 

" _It's a small campus made even smaller by the fact that most of the people who were at the academy at the time died in the battle of Vulcan."_ Malcolm said somberly.

 

 _"A lot of us know each other from either the survivors support group or the employee affinity group for LGTBPQ Starfleet members."_ This came from Kim. _"Also, there are still not that many open members in the higher echelons of Starfleet. I wanted to send Jim a fruit basket for coming out the way he did. It made it a lot easier on the rest of us."_ Daniel added.

 

 _"Besides, who is not going to brag about sleeping with one of the guys who saved Earth."_ Shawn said with a laugh. This caused Jim to receive another dark look from Spock.

 

"I completely agree with him. It's worth bragging about. I brag about sleeping with you all the time." Jim said before risking Bones rant to kiss Spock on the lips. Spock pulled away. Jim was unsure if this was because they weren't supposed to be doing that sort of thing or if he was really mad. It was probably a combination of the two.

 

 _"Everybody but Captain West served on Enterprise sometime during the last six years."_ Kim started before being interrupted again. At first Jim thought that was wrong, then he remembered that Dr. Quinn had to do the last six months of her medical rotation on ship because so many other ships were completely destroyed and the majority of Starfleet medical professionals were busy dealing with Vulcan survivors or Starfleet crew members that had to deal with the traumatic loss of friends, lovers, and family. During their first two years in space, Enterprise had a lot of officers finishing up their rotations on ship. One could argue that Jim really finished up his command training on board Enterprise. It was trial by fire.

 

 _"I never served on the ship."_ Shawn said with a pout.

 

 _"You served as Jim's legal counsel that one time that crazy princess tried to get his hand in marriage in exchange for mining rights and possibly becoming a member of the Federation at a later date."_ Everybody was laughing hysterically when Nyota mentioned that horrible incident. _"That makes you an honorary crew member."_ Jim remembered that mission way too well and did not think it warranted laughter. It was another one of those missions that fell under the category of 'supposedly easy missions that went to hell'. If a 'formally' xenophobic planet ever comes forward again with a request to negotiate some trade agreement, Jim is going to run the other way because it's an obvious trap.

 

 _"I had no choice. You would have killed me if I allowed your best friend to be sold to the highest bidder by a certain admiral. I can't believe they did not kick K out for that."_ Jim's eyes went wide. That was something that was never mentioned to him before.

 

"That bastard." Jim mumbled to himself knowing exactly who Shawn was talking about. He wasn't that surprised K would use him as a sacrificial lamb. If it wasn't for the fact that Admiral K was no longer a member of the Admiralty, Jim would be positive that he sat up the most recent fiasco. Things just seemed too calculated. Then Again, if Jim remembered correctly it was Kay's old chief ally who decided Jim would be perfect for what would become a complete cluster fuck. Maybe the woman was finishing what her special friend started.

 

 _"It doesn't matter. Let me finished telling this story."_ Todd interrupted in irritation. _"You know how Commander Scott started doing his special polls for entertainment purposes when we got stuck doing star mapping one too many times?"_ The sciences at the table groaned at that. Even nerds disliked star mapping.

 

"I believe the lieutenant was referring to the illegal betting pools that the commander has organized on ship." Spock interjected and Jim knew that he was right for listening. They both knew about this activity but Jim didn't care. It kept everyone in a change. A happy crew was less likely to become a dead crew.

 

 _"Oh, I know all about those 'polls'. Did you know that people were betting on when Jim would sleep with me?"_ That statement finely had Spock's anger directed at someone else. A certain engineer will be in so much trouble when they finally got back on Enterprise. Whenever that will be.

 

 _"Calm down Ny."_ Shawn said passing her glass of wine.

 

 _"That was not what the special poll was about anyway. It was whether you would have sex with or smacked Jim Kirk upside the head first."_ Kim said with a laugh. " _Thank you by the way, I won three hundred credits."_ That resulted in Ny death glare number 264. It's the type of death glare that would make a Klingon cry if he could.

 

"She is not happy, serves her right for doing this. Friends should not humiliate friends like this." Jim mumbled to himself.

 

 _"Todd, hurry up and explain before she kills someone on camera and I get to spend the next month trying to get her off murder charges. I hate murder trials."_ Shawn said in annoyance looking at Todd who took too long to respond. _"Never mind, I will do it. In an effort to keep from going completely crazy down in the most unique engineering department in Starfleet, Todd had the genius idea to start his own 'poll'."_

_"But mine is invitation only to anyone who actually dated Jim Kirk and I use the term date as loosely as possible. We had several 'polls' going including: when will Jim Kirk date someone for more than six months straight, when will Jim Kirk come out of the closet, and when will Jim Kirk get married. It was for entertainment purposes of course. Although, I wasn't very entertained when I lost the 'when will Spock tried to kill Jim on the bridge again poll."_ Shawn just rolled his eyes along with Nyota who was still looking pissed in a very bad ass way.

 

"I resent the closet comment." Jim mumbled to himself. "I can't believe they were betting on when you would try killing me again." Jim said louder completely incredulous.

 

 _"Give up the subterfuge."_ Marisol said in annoyance. _"You don't need to be a psychologist to know that you are talking about running an illegal betting pool on Starfleet property."_ The woman said with an eye roll. _"Barnett's wife knows because she knows everything."_ Shawn said with an eye roll. _"In exchange for her keeping quiet she was allowed to play despite not meeting the qualifications. The woman cleaned up on betting against everyone, who was convinced the captain and commander were at each other's throats. Chris already knew as well, because someone stupidly extended an invitation because they believed certain unsubstantiated rumors."_ This ended with Shawn shooting an icy glare at Malcolm oddly enough.

 

" _How was I supposed to know that the rumor about a certain member of the Admiralty having a secret but long-term relationship with one of the guys who saved earth was completely false?"_ Malcolm said with a shrug. He must have been the one who extended the invitation. At that point, Shawn was choking on a glass of wine and Marisol as giving him her 'I know exactly what you are not telling me' look.

 

"I bet you a week's worth of cleaning the bathroom the old fashioned way that Dr. Quinn knows that you were the one who had a secret long-term relationship with Chris." Jim spoke as Nyota tried to keep Shawn from choking on screen.

 

"Despite knowing all the facts, everyone assumes that you were the subject of such a rumor." Spock sounded highly annoyed.

 

"I think it has something to do with my space slut reputation." Jim joked.

 

"That is a completely inaccurate assessment. You have not engaged in sexual intercourse with anyone besides me in 6.4 years."

 

"Now you defend my honor, how lovely." Jim said sarcastically just as things calm down on screen.

 

 _"I'm fine. The wine just went down the wrong way."_ Shawn said as he received another dubious look from Dr. Quinn.

 

 _"Let's just move on to why we're here."_ Shawn said trying to get things back on track.

 

 _"For me to ask Jim's former 'significant others’ what they really think of him getting married?"_ Nyota said sarcastically with another trademark eye roll.

_"I don't think anyone in this room qualifies as a significant other. It was just sex although he did help me past intro to combat tactics."_ Daniel mentioned.

 

" _Didn't you graduate two years before James?"_ Nyota asked using his real name.

 

" _Yet, he still managed to become a captain three years before I did despite the mass casualties after Nero. The guy is a complete genius when it comes to tactics. He can figure out anything from a book. That was about the only thing we talked about. I always thought that he was running from something. Why else would somebody as smart as he is be wasting his talents working construction?"_ Everyone else provided similar speculation except for the three people in the room that knew the truth.

 

 _"For that reason, alone I put 200 credits on Jim Kirk never being part of a long-term relationship and another 200 on never getting married. Now I am out 400 credits because Jim did what he does best, proving all your assumptions wrong."_ The captain said with a frown as he passed a credit chip over to Todd. Jim just smirked.

 

 _"Stop complaining."_ Malcolm said in irritation. _"I've lost 500 credits alone on betting that Commander Spock would attempt to kill Captain Kirk before engaging in intercourse. That's not even including the money I lost on the coming out thing. I thought he would at least make admiral before he came out of his glass closet like your boyfriend, Shawn. No offense."_

 

 _"None taken,"_ Shawn said with a shrug. _"I'm surprised Chris invited me to come to the wedding with him. Although if I knew his ex was going to be there I probably would have said no."_ Okay that made Jim hate Shawn a little less knowing that he had no idea what he was walking into at the wedding. That just sounds like a Chris thing to do.

 

 _"Why did you lose so much money?"_ Nyota asked.

 

_"I thought I had a sure thing. Unless you were a guy who actually slept with Jim Kirk, everyone pretty much assumed that he was straight. Even the tabloids didn't have a clue until Commander Spock started accompanying him to every single event."_

 

 _"I was never under the assumption that Jim Kirk was straight ever. He just didn't feel like it was anybody's business who he slept with."_ Nyota said in his defense. Now she would only receive a slightly angry e-mail after this instead of a complete expletive filled rant. _"I was talking about the sleep together or kill each other first bet." She clarified._

 

 _"I thought they hated each other."_ Malcolm said quietly.

 

 _"Everyone thought they hated each other. Half the crew was betting on when Spock would try to strangle him again."_ Kim added. Jim could tell Nyota was desperately trying not to laugh or say something like 'does the strangling count, if it is part of the sex game?'

 

 _"So you assumed that the simmering glares and inappropriate hand touching were all signs of extreme hatred?"_ Nyota asked sarcastically.

 

" _What was I supposed to think when Jim shows up to the lab almost every day and proceeded to get into an argument with Commander Spock. Eventually the commander usually suggests that they speak privately. Then the commander returns 20 to 30 minutes later with his hair slightly mussed, his uniform crinkled, and bruises around his neck. What else could they have been doing other than fighting?"_ That's when Nyota just lost it.

 

"I never returned to the lab with a wrinkled uniform," Spock's said over Nyota's hysterical laughter. Jim didn't have the heart to tell him what he really looked like after 'quality Time' in supply closet seven.

 

"Please, anybody who knew you two at all would have figured out that those private conferences were excuses to do unmentionable things in supply closet seven." Bones interjected from the peanut gallery. As soon as they were done, watching this nightmarish footage Jim was breaking into the camera feed and cutting Bones access to the room. Jim wanted to say something like 'of course, Malcolm didn't figure it out because he did not know me at all' but he was too irritated. “I never said anything because you were easier to deal with after you get laid." Jim just shot the doctor a dark look. Spock looked mortified to realize that everyone knew what they did when they occasionally took a break for private time. Considering the look Jim is currently getting, those breaks are definitely going to be a thing of the past. He would figure out some way to punish Malcolm but that would probably be considered retaliation.

 

 _"You really thought they were fighting?"_ An incredulous Dr. Quinn asked. "There's a reason why they call its sexual tension. Apparently, you just saw the tension. I was only on board for six months and I made a small fortune betting that they would sleep together before the end of the year."

 

 _"Well what else could it have been?"_ Malcolm asked. Ny was laughing to the point where she couldn't breathe by then.

 

 _"Did such incidents stop after the announcement of their engagement?"_ A smirking Shawn asked.

 

"For a genius, it is taking him a long time to figure this out." Jim said as the screen went silent as if Malcolm was really trying to think about it.

 

"I do not wish for anybody to figure out what we were doing nor will we be doing it on duty ever again."

 

"Technically, when I drag you out of your lab you're not actually on duty instead you're being your normally nerdy self and working extra hours to get a project done. I don't want my husband to die of over exhaustion before he hits the century mark. You are one sexy as hell geriatric and I'm looking forward to you being around for me to enjoy that." Jim said as he stopped the file long enough to tell his husband off. Why does he have a feeling that this is not a regular argument but the type of fighting that ends up in supply closet seven?

 

 _"Actually, it's a lot worse and it usually happens every time Commander Spock tries to work overtime. Afterwards he usually comes back just long enough to wrap up whatever he was working on. Oh, my god."_ Malcolm said finally getting it. Dr. Quinn was smirking to herself.

 

 _"Here's a toast to Jim Kirk, the only guy who could successfully corrupt a Vulcan."_ Captain West said raising his glass as the others joined in.

 

 _"So you picked up on the sexual tension?"_ Nyota asked Dr. Quinn now that she was no longer laughing.

 

 _"Yes, but I could also pick up on the way that he trusted Spock a lot more than anyone else. The Jim Kirk I knew doesn't ask for help or show weakness. But I could tell even from just the few months I was on board he could do both for Spock. I would love to go back on the Enterprise to see how their emotional relationship has developed over time."_ She's getting her wish Jim thought to himself although maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have Dr. Quinn as the new ship psychologist. It was obvious to Jim that she was pretty observant.

 

 _"Why was trust so important?"_ Nyota asked.

 

 _"As a trained psychologist and someone who has actually slept with him, I can tell you in all honesty that he was never going to have a relationship of any significance until he could find somebody he could truly confide in and be comfortable enough to let that person see beyond the mask he wears. Jim Kirk has some issues and reasons not to trust people. I cannot give specifics because that would betray his trust. Things did not progress between us because he could not trust me enough to really open up. Since they made it down the aisle, I can only assume there's true trust there."_ Jim paused the video at that point.

 

"She's right."

 

"About what?" Spock questioned

 

"About why I could never have a deeply meaningful relationship with anybody else, I don't trust people very well. I have been screwed over too many times or become the victim of good intentions that lead straight to hell. Dr. Quinn figured out that I was raped as a teenager due to being telepathic and a trained psychologist." That was the first time in his life he actually use the R word aloud to describe what actually happened on Tarsus. "The moment she tried to press for details and tried to get me to talk to someone else, I ran away. I think because of what happened when I was a teenager I have always been able to separate sex from emotions. I had to in order to survive what happened." He didn't say anything after that. Neither did Spock, he just wrapped Jim in his arms again and kissed him gently on the lips. That is when Jim remembers who else was listening to this conversation. Oh, fuck.

 

"Let's continue watching the video file." Spock's said when he noticed the horrified expression on Jim's face.

 

 _"If I'm wrong, we might as well start placing are divorce bets now, because it will fall apart otherwise."_ Dr. Quinn finished. This caused Jim to scowl and forget about the fact that Bones now knew too much.

 

 _"I'll put 100 credits on six months."_ Malcolm said eagerly. _"If it wasn't for the fact that Commander Spock was such a great scientific mind, I would have transferred to another ship years ago. His desire for everything being perfect can drive you crazy after a while. I don't know how his husband could take it all the time."_

 

 _"That explains why Lieutenant Malcolm was so irritated six months ago."_ Spock said with a glare pure ice, serves him right.

 

 _"I give it a least a year for similar reasons."_ Todd added.

 

 _"I give it three months because Jim Kirk cannot keep his dick to himself."_ Said Captain West, Jim found that highly offensive.

 

 _"You do know that Commander Spock will see this?"_ Dr. Quinn asked.

 

 _"Oh, fuck1"_ All three men mumbled under breath. Apparently, they were not using Jane's camera with the 'family friendly' filter. Jim was satisfied that they all lost their money.

_"As long as there is real trust then the two will be together decades from now."_ Quinn added and it looked like Shawn and Nyota agreed.

 

 _"I will put 200 on the couple dying tragically on a mission before divorce occurs."_ Said Kim.

 

"I knew I always liked her. Although, why does everyone assume we will die on a mission?" Jim asked Spock.

 

"Would you like me to recite the statistics related to your visits to the sick bay that directly correlated to anyway missions?"

 

"No, Spock." Jim grumbled. The number was probably outrageous.

 

 _"Why did you bet that way?"_ Nyota asked Kim.

 

 _"How many times has Jim almost gotten killed since I started my current detail?"_ Kim asked.

 

_"Good point."_

 

" _If it is not the regular enemies, it will probably be someone that Jim slept with that isn't over it like we are and is not comfortable laughing it off. I was working with this one crazy girl named Natalie or Natalia or whatever during my most recent detail to some pharmaceutical company as part of a public-private partnership when everything came out last year. She dated Jim in high school and was still a little obsessed with him. She put him in the hospital or at least that's what she said after getting sloshed at the office winter party. She was not happy at all about the engagement."_ Jim instantly knew who Kim was referring to. The crazy one of Iowa was currently stuck in a cell. Though, it did seem a little strange that the person who saved his life knew the person who tried to end it. Come to think of it, that was extremely bizarre.

 

"Spock, how long does it take to create an anecdote for an unknown virus from scratch?" Jim asked his husband in broken old Vulcan. Jim was not sure why he asked the question as he stopped the footage but he had to ask.

 

"Long enough that you would have died on the table." His words were low and his expression heartbreaking.

 

'What the fuck is going on?' Was his only thought.


	7. File name: Interview number 22631016b Lieutenant Commander Montgomery (Scotty) Scott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I cannot do accents. One, the voice recognition software will not recognize the words. The program I am using is for American English. For those of you who have noticed typos that even wonderful betas cannot pick up on, sometimes the software cannot even recognize words that are standard American English. No one wants to find out what will happen when I go beyond that lexicon.  
> I use recognition software because I cannot spell at all nor sound out words phonetically. When I say I cannot spell, I mean most kindergartners can spell better than I can. Because I cannot spell phonetically, I am unable to transcribe dialect speech.  
> Three, because of my disability, I read by sight not phonetically, therefore it's difficult for me to read anything that doesn't match standard English, let alone try to transcribe it. Scotty's dialog in this story is a translation of what he said in Standard English as interpreted by Spock. This warning will apply later on when I deal with another heavily accented character.

After one year of marriage and several years of dating, Spock knows when Jim is panicking. He does not panic in a traditional way with screaming or throwing things. There is some cursing involved, but with James Kirk that is par for the course. On certain more private occasions, Spock can actually find such language stimulating. Due to medical restrictions, this is neither the time nor place, which is unfortunate since today is their one year anniversary. The fact that James is able to curse in old Vulcan is somewhat unnerving as well as arousing.

Jim's insecurities are covered up with a mask of bravado. Spock knows that James is panicking because his outward demeanor is too calm over breakfast that morning discussing everything that they have learned in the last 24 hours. Even without being told, Spock knew that James spent the better part of yesterday evening reading over Lieutenant Kim-born-ook-li's personnel file and all records pertaining to her most recent detail.

Jim is not sure how to proceed. He keeps repeating the same facts as if on a loop over coffee. Lieutenant Kim-born-ook-li was working with a team of scientists including Dr. Natalie Malone on a universal flu vaccine. The project was in response to an outbreak of O influenza on earth that resulted in 2132 fatalities during June of 2261 alone. The team also included scientists from FAID. O influenza is very similar structurally to the virus that almost killed both he and James.

As Jim repeated each fact as concisely as possible, his eyes gave way to worry. Apparently, Spock is not the only one who notices this. That explained the interruption from Dr. McCoy.

"Spock, calm your husband the fuck down." The doctor yelled over the intercom.

"I think I'm pretty damn calm for somebody who just realized that somebody on their team was part of a conspiracy to have me killed. Who knows she probably cooked up the virus with good old Natalie as the perfect revenge." Spock could easily pick up on the panic in James' voice.

"Chris, you're a fucking idiot." Spock heard the doctor mumbled so low that he only picked up on it do to superior Vulcan hearing. He has agreed with that sentiment for several years now.

"Jim not everyone is obsessed with you. Your ex-girlfriend did not try to kill you. Not Kim any way. The jury is still out on the crazy one of Iowa, but seeing how she's dead, it really doesn't matter anymore." The doctor's eyes seem dark at that moment on the screen.

"Natalie is dead?" James asked blinking back shock.

"I just found out from Nyota. Someone accidentally put something nasty in her food. Apparently, her food allergies are just as bad as yours. Before she died, Ny managed to find out that she was blackmailed by somebody to hand over the killer virus. She probably got killed because she purposely gave him something that would not kill you. Not that we will know for sure, seeing how she's dead." The doctor explained.

"Considering my heart stopped twice, I really don't believe that." Jim said in irritation as he fell back onto the bed. "You better explain this conspiracy starting with why you even knew what the hell we were talking about?" Jim screamed.

"It may be more efficient to begin with why you think Admiral Pike is an idiot." Spock added.

"Other than the fact he turned down being in your green blooded company for the rest of his natural life because he is a coward?" The doctor asked Spock sarcastically.

"Quit stalling Bones. What the fuck is going on?" James asked again even angrier than before if such a thing where possible.

"If you would take a deep calming breath to keep your blood pressure from going sky high I would tell you. Actually," the Doctor started before a small packet pills fell from the dispensary shoot in the room. "You better take one of those before I tell you what happened."

"What is it going to do? Knock me out so I don't keep asking questions?" Jim asked looking at the pill dubiously.

"No, it will calm you down enough so your heart doesn't stop again. Take the pill, you toddler." The doctor grumbled.

"James." Spock said looking at his husband in concern. "Fine," Jim said swallowing the pill.

"Happy now?" Jim asked sticking out his tongue to prove that he did actually swallow the pill.

"Dr. McCoy is rarely happy, why should now be any different than usual." Spock told his husband causing Jim to smile.

"You're actually telling jokes. Things really must be dire." Jim said smiling as he sat back on the bed. "You can begin by explaining how you understood our private conversation when we were speaking in old Vulcan." Jim prompted.

"The same way I can understand any other conversation in a language that I'm not familiar with, the Universal Translator." The doctor explained.

"I did not think the translator could understand it very well. It always got it confused with modern Vulcan based languages." James asked and Spock was under the same impression. That is why they used it for private conversations.

"Now that things are a bit more settled on the new/old Vulcan colony, anthropologists finally have the time to examine the ruins of the pre reform Vulcan society that inhabited the planet millenniums ago before the modern ancestors decided to move back there after losing their own planet. They've been finding a lot of written documents because the green blooded geniuses found a way to preserve the written word centuries before we idiots on earth discovered the benefits of cooking our food. Your favorite girl BFF has been developing a software program to translate the documents into standard in her spare time. She left me a copy of the beta before she left for earth. She thought it would come in handy during my baby sitting. I guess she was right." The doctor said frowning.

"That would only be handy to spy on our private conversations." James said in irritation.

"No, that's what I used it for, but that was not her intention. You both speak the language and are computer geniuses. She thought that if you two started to get on my last nerve I could let you two play with the software to work out the bugs. No, you stupid hobgoblin, the software does not contain real live bugs." The doctor said before Spock could question his terminology.

"Like that makes it so much better." Jim said with a groan.

"Just shut up and let me explain what's happening. When you act like that I understand why there's a conspiracy to have you killed." Jim's face went white just before Dr. McCoy explained the facts as they pertain to the current situation.

A certain lieutenant that James has antagonized on several occasions by referring to him as lieutenant cupcake was paid to place the virus delivery device in the supplies of one of his colleagues. The purpose was to kill James and blame the attack on the peaceful yet Isolationist planet for the purposes of increasing xenophobic sentiment on earth. The virus came from Dr. Natalie Malone under duress. Apparently, she still had feelings for James and therefore used a less lethal virus. Spock was not sure of this considering that the virus was nearly fatal.

"During her last detail on earth, Kim was working on a universal flu vaccine that will work with any species against any variation of the flu virus. You would know this because of your late night hacking. What was not in the file was that they did develop something but it didn't quite work as intended. It works perfectly on telepathic species such as the Vulcans but it's deadly to us humans. I guess she assumes because your part Vulcan and James is bonded to you that the virus wouldn't be as deadly which was a correct assumption on her part. Everyone else from Starfleet died instantly but you two stuck around long enough for us to do something. Because Kim is overly ambitious, she was trying to finish the puzzle of the universal flu vaccine once she arrived back on Enterprise. It probably had something to do it the fact that her very human brother in law was one of those killed in the O flu incident a few years ago." Spock remembered that. This was one of the reasons why the Lieutenant requested another detail that would allow her to spend some time on earth.

"So she ended up creating an anecdote for the deadly vaccine/virus?" Jim asked with less worry in his voice than before.

"More like, she created a way for the vaccine to not be lethal in humans. She gave you the other half of the vaccine." This seem probable to Spock considering what he knew about the lieutenants character.

"You're telling me that what killed multiple crew members was a flu vaccine?" Jim asked skeptically.

"Yes, wouldn't be the first time that a cure was worse than the disease. Now that you survived, you'll never get the flu again no matter what planet we end up on." The Doctor said happily, most likely remembering last flu season on the ship.  
"That's good to know." James responded without inflection.

"If this 'vaccine' worked perfectly well with Vulcans why did it make me sick?" Spock questioned.

"You're half human. However, that stubborn Vulcan DNA of yours caused you and your husband to live long enough for Kim to recognize your symptoms and convince me to try an experimental drug." The doctor explained.

"Kim always did like a challenge." James said just sitting there staring at the blank wall. Whatever Dr. McCoy gave James seemed to be working well. Even Spock was slightly upset about the current situation mostly because he knew Christopher was instrumental keeping this knowledge from him and James for so long. "I'm guessing she probably kept in contact with Natalie about her research."

"That's what Kim said in her interview. Which is why Malone assumed that giving that particular virus to the individual blackmailing her would not accomplish the desired effect. At least that's what I think." Dr. McCoy explained his speculation.

"The one thing I always liked about her was if she was backed into a corner Natalie would stick to her principles. She is/was not the type of person who would try to stir up xenophobic sentiment with a doomsday virus. Considering the family she came from that's quite a feat. Now they were xenophobic and everything else. Her father and mother stopped talking to Nikki when he came out of the closet but Natalie stood by his side even after I sort of left her for him. They were best friends. He must be devastated. I should probably send my condolences." Jim said with a sad expression.

"That would not be advisable." Spock said quickly.

"You really need to get over that jealousy thing." Jim said with anger. "I only reconnected with Nikki after you forced me to spend quality time in Iowa on one of our rare earth shore leaves to reconnect with mommy dearest. He is happily married with children. Remember his daughter couldn't stop playing with your ears." Jim said reminding him of the encounter. Spock was halfway tempted to remind James that he was incapable of forgetting anything.

"I'm saying such a thing would be inadvisable because Miss Malone's family may not be aware of her passing." Spock corrected his husband's false assumption.

"The hobgoblin is right. I just found out about it because of Ny. I doubt her family knows anything yet. Hell, they probably don't even know of her incarceration. McMillan was involved and you don't want to get on her bad side. The woman makes my ex-wife seem like a nice person. Scotty is so scared of her he won't even talk about the circumstances behind his second 'detail' to Delta Vega." The Doctor said darkly.

"He was just happy that there was something to actually do this time instead of just trying to program the replicators to make the perfect sandwich." James did not go further, most likely not wanting to remind Spock that most scientists on Delta Vega were now studying the aftereffects of a planet imploding. "More important than McMillan being scary as hell, you're not supposed to know that Natalie is dead. Hell, you're not even supposed to know anything about this grand conspiracy of the Federation. You offering your sympathies to your ex-boyfriend would alert a lot of people to what's going on. We don't want that." The doctor said trying to reason with James.

"Fine," Jim said crossing his arms over his chest. This told Spock that this was just a strategic retreat for James. "So, I'm assuming that Pike put you under strict orders not to tell me anything?"

"No, he put Nyota under strict orders not to tell you anything. Of course, her fidgeting did enough. Do you know her security clearance is even higher than yours?" The doctor asked.

"Yes. I know why her clearance is that high as well and I cannot tell you. I knew McMillan was up to something. You saw how she kept chatting up Ny at the wedding. One of these days, I'm going to lose my chief communications officer to Special Forces. Hell, I probably already have." Jim said looking sad.

"I assume that the real reason why Lieutenant Commander Uhura is on Earth is classified as well as anything you have told us?" Spock questioned.

"Pretty much, I already said too much but unlike Nyota, I was just ordered to do what was best for your health."

"So lying to me about what the hell is going on was best for my health?" James said with pure sarcasm.

"Days ago your heart could not handle finding out the there's a group of people actively trying to kill you. If I didn't drug you, I would probably be running in there with a crash cart." Dr. McCoy said making reference to an old piece of Earth medical technology.

"Bones there's always been a group of people actively trying to kill me. At least, once a shore leave somebody tries to drug me. When I was six months old, a group of political dissidents tried to kidnap me in protest of Starfleet's obvious lack of interest in trying to find a ship that blew up the Kelvin. This is nothing new." Jim said sadly.

"Six months old?" The doctor asked and Jim just nodded his head at the doctor's question. "Do you know you have more lives than a cat?"

"I do not understand the meaning of that statement." Spock remarked.

"I'll explain the expression later. So why are you telling us everything now?” Jim asked turning to the monitor screen.

"When your heart monitor went off like a newborn with a wet diaper, I knew it was in the best interest of your health and my sanity to let you know that your ex-girlfriend, the one that works for you, was not part of a conspiracy to have you killed." The doctor said with an eye roll.

"Yes, but apparently others are?" Spock asked.

"I'm not going to tell you that. Neither one of you are recovered from what happened. Nyota is taking care of it." Spock actually found this reassuring.

"But Bones…" James began but was cut off.

"You're not using those blue eyes on me. I'm your doctor, damn it. I'm going to make the best decision for your health. Why don't you rest?" Dr. McCoy suggested gruffly.

"I don't want to take a nap. It is not even 10:00 AM yet. I'm your captain, damn it. Not a toddler that needs to go to sleepy town every couple of hours." James said bitterly.

"Fine, why don't you watch another one of the videos your other mommy sent you. Scotty would probably be good for a laugh. Lord knows you could use a laugh right now. Those tapes should be good for something other than tipping you off to whatever the hell is going on." That is when a mysterious smirk fell across Jim's face.

"Jane really is the best mommy ever. You are right. I need to calm down."

"Just a fact that you're seeing reason scares me. However, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and send up Ny's special present around lunchtime.” The Doctor told the couple.

 

 **" _Why are you acquiescing so quickly?"_** Spock asked several minutes later through their bond as they prepared to watch Scotty's interview from the day of their wedding exactly one year ago today.

 **" _I'm not acquiescing; I'm using that brain of mine. Jane doesn't let things out of the bag accidentally and she doesn't do anything without a purpose. This is the woman who for all intents and purposes blackmailed Starfleet into sending help to Tarsus by playing the media against them. She wanted us to watch these videos because she knows that they contain clues to what's happening."_** James said through the link.

 ** _"This was also the same woman who accidentally told us that Christopher is engaged."_** Spock said as he tried not to react physically to his mental words.

 **" _That was not an accident. It just seemed that way at first. Chris may be her good friend but his tendency to not tell people things drives her crazy. I should've known that was no slip up. She told us on purpose."_** Spock was inclined to believe his husband. He has known Jane for several years and she rarely divulges private information intentionally.

"Put the video file on." James said that part out loud most likely for the benefit of the cameras recording everything.

 **" _If we keep talking like this somebody's going to know something is up."_** _James said confirming Spock's assumption.  “ **I trust Bones but not anyone else who could be watching this. Actually, I think Bones is here watching us because he doesn't trust anyone else."** _ Spock knew that James was being prudent, not necessarily paranoid.

He turned their attention back to the interview footage. On the screen again was the ballroom but there were fewer people around and most were congregating around the appetizer table or the bar. Mr. Scott was currently sitting at the bar next to the chocolate fountain. Despite Spock's protest, Jim gave into Mia's request for a chocolate fountain at the wedding. The compromise was that it would be located near the bar so that the underage children of various Vulcan diplomats (that they were forced to invite to the festivities) would not indulge in the intoxicating substance. Given the footage from his father's interview, he watched a few days ago, he is surprised any of these individuals attended. They were most likely there for the sake of image.

"This must have been right after the wedding when we were still taking pictures." Spock said with a slight frown. He had no desire to spend almost 2 hours posing at various locations as a Starfleet photographer took official images to be distributed to the media. Unfortunately, they had no choice. In exchange for having enough time off for an actual honeymoon and the entire crew having time off to attend the wedding Jim and Spock had to agree to this ceremony being used as the Starfleet press office saw fit.

On screen, Jane was currently making snide remarks about various Starfleet officials as she walked around the festivities. Occasionally she would stop to receive will wishes from some of the various officials and dignitaries attending the event. McMillan said something cryptic about how they now allow married couples to serve together in Special Forces.

"Make sense. Jane left after the first few pictures. She said she needed to be at the reception hall to make sure great Uncle Raymond only partook of the chocolate fountain at the bar. I guess interviewing Scotty and others was what she was really doing." Jim said with a shrug.

"I believe that was an excuse. Prior to her leaving, I overheard an argument between her and Winona." Spock explained.

"Which meant that they were a good 100 m away assuming that they were having a private conversation. Fortunately, your super Vulcan sonar let you hear everything." Jim said rolling his eyes before continuing.

"So what stupid things did Winona say to Jane that made her leave the photo shoot even though I specifically asked her to be there?" James asked with arms crossed again.

“Winona said, ‘You're not his real mother. You have no business being in the family pictures. They're for real family’." Spock repeated verbatim without the venom use when the words were spoken originally. This was the reason why Spock was not surprised he had to use the Vulcan nerve pinch on Jane Barnett later in the evening.

"Fucking bitch," Jim mumbled under breath.

"She is your mother." Spock admonished.

"Only when it suits her." James probably would have had an angry rant about his mother, guaranteed to raise his blood pressure, if it were not for Jane on screen approaching a certain admiral that they both despise.

"Why do I think he only showed up to the wedding for the free alcohol?" James asked.

“I assumed it was for the sake of his public image." Spock mumbled under breath.

"And the free food, don't forget about the free food. It was good free food. Too bad we barely had time to eat any of it." Jim joked.

 _"Admiral, it's so good you could make it to the ceremony."_ Jane said with fake cheeriness. _"It was a lovely ceremony, don't you think?"_

 _"I wouldn't know because most of it was in Vulcan. I couldn't understand the damn thing. If they come to our planet to take our jobs they should be forced to learn standard."_ Spock has heard similar xenophobic sentiments before, although usually it was the other way around believing everyone who relocated to Vulcan (or New Vulcan in more contemporary times) should learn to speak Vulcan. These are usually the same individuals who treat Spock with contempt for his human heritage.

"And nobody picked up on his racist tendencies until after the blow up on the Barbara Sawyer show. We work for morons." James mumbled under breath.

"Most in Starfleet were well aware of his tendencies. Unfortunately, nepotism is still very prevalent in the organization." Spock said with thinly veiled disdain.

"Yet, he had the balls to say that I only got my job because of my dead daddy." Jim said with bitterness.

"James please calm down. He was removed from Starfleet eventually. There is no reason for you to become stressed over the situation." Spock said to his husband as the Jane on screen tried to suppress an angry expression. Spock was well aware of James disdain for this particular admiral.

 _"The ceremony was in Vulcan because the couple decided to have a traditional Vulcan marriage/bonding ceremony instead of a traditional Western Earth ceremony. It's much more permanent than a Federation marriage contract. Unlike us, they don't do divorce."_ Jane defended trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

“That's a shame. I doubt Jim is any better at keeping his dick to himself now." The admiral said as he swallowed the entire shot. This behavior most likely explains why he was escorted off the premises later on.

 _"My mom always said that if you didn't have anything nice to say don't say nothing."_ The heavily accented standard told Spock that Lieutenant Commander Scott was the owner of that voice.

 _"There's nothing nice I can say about this marriage. It's an abomination."_ The admiral shot back.

 _"The only abomination here is you_." Mr. Scott said getting up from his bar stool.

" _You can't talk about me like that. I'm your superior."_ The admiral said practically screaming at Mr. Scott.

"That would imply that you're better than me, I knows that's not true." He said stepping closer to the admiral.

 _"Commander, would you mind joining me at the food table. I think I ordered those miniature gorgonzola and salami sandwiches that you like. James gave me a whole list of things like that to add to the menu."_ Jane said literally pulling him away.

"I think the real reason why Barnett wanted his wife in the press office is so she could defuse any situation. Scotty looked ready to kill." James commented on the scene.

"I doubt that would occur. Most likely the situation would result in what you would refer to as a 'beer brawl.'" Spock remarked.

"That almost happened anyway when Sam acted like a complete Dick before the cake cutting. Why did you make me invite him to the wedding? The sight of us kissing still freaks Sam out." Jim asked with annoyance.

"Because he is your brother." Spock said without even raising an eyebrow.

"Only by blood. I hate Vulcan logic sometimes." Jim said turning back to the screen. Jane was now following Scotty back to the 'bridge table' as James referred to it during wedding planning. Currently no one else was there.

 _"Thanks for getting me out of there."_ Scotty said as he stared at his plate of food.

" _My husband would be really angry at me if he had to kick out his favorite engineer and I did not prevent it. Everybody hates Admiral KKK. You wouldn't be the first one who tried to attack him at an official gathering after consuming vast quantities of alcohol."_ Jane said utilizing the nickname for the admiral.

 _"That's what they're calling him."_ Scotty said taking a bite of his sandwich.

 _"That's one of the more polite things people call him that I can repeat. Anything else would have been censored out by the profanity filter on the camera. I'm just thankful you gave me an excuse to stop talking to him. I'm only tolerable around him because he works with my husband. I can't stand the [expletive]."_ Jane said with anger.

 _"Why were you talking to him anyway?"_ Mr. Scott asked around a mouthful of sandwich. Spock was only able to determine what he said via the subtitles Mrs. Barnett included.

 _"I'm working on my special wedding present to the groom and other groom. It's a wedding video. I'm trying to interview all of the couple's friends and family. I'm going for maximum embarrassment or sentimentality."_ Jane explains.

 _"I doubt that admiral falls under either category."_ Mr. _Scott said with deep laughter._

 _"Yeah, but unfortunately I have to include all the Admiralty, otherwise they'll get snippy."_ Jane said just before Mr. Scott mumbled something that even the translating software could not deciphered. Then again maybe that was the expletive filter. Judging by the way Jane was laughing this was most likely the case.

 _"Since you are considered a friend, do you want to participate?"_ Jane asked.

 _"Sure, Jim is the best captain ever. He does not mind getting his hands greasy. Said he worked in construction before Starfleet. He would have made a fine engineer, if he wasn't so good at battlefield tactics. We are a lot alike. Jim doesn't care much for the rules, if it gets in the way of progress."_ Jane just rolled her eyes at that comment.

"You mean like not using an Admiral's dog for transporter testing. That's not a rule. That's common sense." The lieutenant commander actually looked guilty at her words.

 _"When I get an idea I don't always think about the consequences."_ Mr. Scott remarked. _"We got the dog back last year."_

"That's an excuse. He never thinks about the consequences." Jim mumbled next to Spock. Spock was tempted to mention that James was very similar but they were having a pleasant afternoon and this was their wedding anniversary. It would be best to avoid confrontational situations.

 _"What about Spock?"_ Jane asked with a smile.

" _He's great, a bit of a stickler for the rules, but willing to try anything once in the name of science. He's brilliant with numbers. The Vulcan can do differential equations in his head."_ Jane seemed highly amused at his words. Jim was laughing.

"It makes perfect sense that the thing that he likes the most about you is your ability to do calculus in your head." Jim said as he continued laughing

 _"What about as a command team?"_ Jane asked.

 _"They're the best team in the fleet except for that one incident when they first met and that other incident that we don’t talk about. It was exciting, nonetheless."_ The engineer said vaguely.

 _"I'm sure attempted murder is exciting."_ Jane mumbled under breath.

_"They're not like that anymore. Even than they still beat the bad guy. Now, they finish each other's sentences."_

"We don't do that." "No such thing has ever occurred." Both he and James said simultaneously resulting in laughter from Dr. McCoy.

"Maybe he's right." James said with a shrug as Mr. Scott continued describing their behavior on the bridge. He recounted several antidotes including Spock dressing up as a female to rescue James after he was kidnapped for the third time that year. Fortunately, this particular individual only kidnapped Jim for the purposes of reproduction.

 _"Please tell me there are pictures?"_ Jane asked laughing hysterically.

 _"Of course, the commander makes one fine lass_." Mr. Scott said passing his PADD to Jane who was still behind the camera.

"He is in so much trouble for never sending me that picture." Spock said noticing that Jim was still on his PADD.

"What are you doing?" Spock questioned.

"Just sending some emails. Mostly I'm just trying to get a copy of that picture." Jim said out loud but Spock knew that this was just cover for James breaking back into the Starfleet classified archives. Spock was surprised James was able to pay attention to the interview and break into the database simultaneously.

 _"That would have been great for Jim's bachelor party."_ Jane said as she continued laughing.

 _"Okay, so there's an obvious reason why Jim and Spock are a Starfleet command dream team. But what do you think about the pair as a couple?"_ Jane asked once the laughter stopped.

" _Is there a difference? My mother always said a good partnership was the key to a good marriage."_ Mr. Scott said with a pleasant smile.

 _"So you were not surprise when Jim asked Spock to marry him?"_ Jane questioned.

 _"No. You'll be surprised what people will do in Jeffries tubes."_ Onscreen, Jane's mouth opened in shock.

"I thought he caught us for the first time in an elevator." James said nonplused. "Although, I was probably preoccupied sucking on your…"

"We've all caught you in an elevator, Jeffries tube and/or a supply closet." The doctor said cutting him off. "I don't need to hear the details. I just had breakfast. Replicated grits are hard enough to take going down the first time."

"Shut up Bones. I am still not talking to you." James said sulking.

"Sometimes, I wonder why I'm friends with you." The doctor said with an exacerbated voice.

 _"Other than catching our favorite couple doing inappropriate things in inappropriate places, were you surprise about their relationship?"_ Jane asked.

 _"Not really. I don't care what people do in their personal life. Lots of other people were but I wasn't. I made a killing on-I mean."_ Mr. Scott stammered.

 _"I know about the special 'entertainment' polls in engineering. I made enough money to pay for Mia's first car."_ Jane joked.

_"You know about that?" Scotty asked sheepishly_

_"Commander, there's not a lot I don't know about the fleet. Just be glad I never tell my husband any of it. So you were one of what six people that knew that Jim Kirk wasn't that heterosexual?"_

_"Never really cared about that sort of thing. Not my business. He's a good captain and friend. What else is there?"_ Scotty said with a shrug as he continued eating.

 _"That makes you a better person then certain individuals that I cannot tolerate."_ Jane said with a smile.

_"So what would you like to say to the happy couple?"_

_"Congratulations and if you ever need a drink Jim, engineering is always open."_ That's when the file ended.

"Did he just offer you illegally distilled alcohol?" Spock asked his husband.

"Do not act so innocent. You know all about what really goes down in engineering. They keep all the best secrets." Jim said passing his PADD to his husband. On the screen were several classified documents including what appeared to be the transcript of Nyota's interrogation of the one Jim refers to as cupcake.

"So Disney or do you want to watch more of our friends and family putting embarrassing information on the record?" Jim asked before he gripped Spock's hand.

**" _I managed to get in the database because of a program that I've been working on with our favorite engineer. It's untraceable. We need to cover what we're doing."_**

"I find the Disney interpretation of _Pocahontas_ fascinating although not historically accurate."

"Very historically inaccurate. What about _Toy Story_ 3?" Jim suggested. Spock actually liked this film but would not tell Jim that.

"What about Cars?"

"You hate that film."

 _ **"That's why I suggested it."**_ Spock said over the link.

"Just put something in." James said with a shrug.


	8. File name: Interview number 22631016d the Kirk Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dark chapter with talk of Tarsus and domestic violence but I tried to put some humor in here.

You think by this point in their relationship Jim would know not to give Spock vague instructions that can be interpreted in whatever way Spock prefers. Really, it was his fault for teaching Spock that skill. Instead of watching some mind numbing action film that Spock would never have watched voluntarily otherwise or a Disney flick that Jim can recite the dialogue of in his sleep, they were watching more of Jane's special videos. Worst of all, it was the one that he wanted to see the most, the mommy fight. He really wanted to know what the hell Winona said that set Jane off like that. Jane is the type of woman who could interview a Klingon without incident. Whatever Winona said had to be bad. Jane wasn't talking and his relationship with Winona was still complicated, so there was no way he was going to ask her for details. His mom still hasn't tried to contact him. It's possible that Pike was keeping the severity of this whole thing out of the media but you would think that his mom would at least send him a digital card for his wedding anniversary.

Really how was he supposed to concentrate on reading all the files that Pike was trying to keep from him when there was something interesting going on in the background? He was pretty sure that Jane sent him the files because they contained various clues to what the hell was going on. He may miss something.

So far he's managed to read through Cupcake's initial interview with Nyota as great Aunt Clara told stories about him running through her house without any clothing. She had a video file that she gave Jane. Spock actually chuckled. Oh, the humiliation. The most interesting thing he found out about his aunt was she actually offered to take care of him but his mom thought it would be best to ship him off to Tarsus so he would have a strong male role model. She burst into tears at that point. She was happy that Jim settled down with anyone and has always found Vulcans hot. If you haven't figured it out, Great Aunt Clara was his fellow black sheep in this family, of course she was happy.

The most interesting thing he learned about Cupcake was that he had no regard for others. They were at least worth three times as much as he was paid. He also learned that Nyota was a complete bad ass who was much better at the interrogation thing then he ever would have thought. Now he understands why they asked her to come to Earth for the Natalie thing.

He read through the autopsy reports of his dead crew members as Great Uncle Nathan told that story about having to get Jim out of jail more than once. Jim was glad that they didn't have popcorn this time because he would have thrown up. Reading details about a virus that can kill you in minutes was slightly disturbing.

Uncle Nathan was the cool Uncle and another fellow black sheep. He was probably the only one who knew that Jim was not heterosexual without Jim having to say a word or actual be caught in a compromising position. Then again, Uncle Nathan was not that heterosexual either, that's why he was considered the original black sheep of the Kirk family. He was not around very much when Jim was younger because of some falling out with most of that side of the family. Actually, he did not even know he had a great Uncle Nathan until Jane most likely contacted him after the Tarsus fiasco and he visited Jim in the hospital.

He was the first couch Jim turned to after the massive fight with Winona that had him running away from home. He did not stay there too long because Uncle Nathan's husband hated him. Now he knew why Uncle Nathan was his fellow Kirk black sheep.

 _"I always wondered why Jim had no idea that you even existed until you showed up at Jim's hospital room after…"_ Jane started but stopped as her voice became emotional. He was sure that she was crying but could not see because she was behind the camera this time.

_"Tiberius and later George denied my existence. He didn't want someone like me in the family. Unfortunately, Winona’s mother was of a similar mind. I prefer not to speak ill of the dead on such a happy day." Uncle Nathan said bitterly. I'm here to enjoy this wedding, and they are not."_

_"I still want details. They're dead, what do they care?"_ Jane said flippantly.

 _"It's the same reason Sam called his brother a [expletive] during that interview I just saw. Let's leave it at that."_ He said quickly.

 _"I think that was sibling rivalry as much as a result of being raised by someone like Frank."_ Jane said in response.

 _"As much as we tried to pretend otherwise in this supposedly perfect society when we all love one another and except everybody's differences, bigotry is still alive and well. The one you just mentioned was an example of that. He was the one who kicked me out of the house the one time I tried to see my nephews. Besides if the universe was perfect, I wouldn't have a job."_ Uncle Nathan said with sadness.

"What does your uncle do?" Spock asked as he paused the video file.

"He works for Amnesty Interplanetary after some time in the diplomatic core. Still does even if he is almost 80. He knew your mother." Jim told him quickly remembering some conversation they had about the movement to end the interplanetary sex trade.

"He mentioned working with her on a project but he did not elaborate." Spock added.

"That's my uncle. He never elaborates. Did you really have to choose something interesting to watch? I was hoping to focus on my reading." James asked with a scowl as he passed his PADD to Spock. He probably had the entire page read within 5 seconds.

"I could put in something else." Spock said with a dark expression indicating that he did read the autopsies

"No, I want to finish this. Everybody talks about my father in such glowing terms. I want to know what he was really like." James said as he pressed play again.

_"Hate is taught. I grew up an environment where I was taught that I was unnatural and needed to be ashamed of myself. I don't mean to speak ill of a dead, but part of me is happy that my nephew sacrificed himself so that others can live. Too bad Winona ended up with Frank but at least she kicked him out. I doubt she would have been strong enough to do that to the love of her life. I doubt Jim would be so well adjusted otherwise. Actually, there probably wouldn't be a wedding today at least not to someone that Jim actually loves completely. Winona is not perfect by any means, but then she's here to support Jim's decision."_

Jim thought about two things one he knows for sure that the version of himself raised by George Kirk was never comfortable enough with his own identity to marry Spock for whatever reason. Two, his mom was there and not only did she support him, but Jim saw her attack Sam for being an idiot when she recovered from being nerve pinch. Maybe this new reality wasn't so horrible after all. He did get what he deserved.

 _"She didn't want to kick Frank out either; I didn't give her a choice."_ Jane mumbled under breath before asking her fellow question. He would have to ask Jane about that someday. _"Some may not agree with you considering their relationship was the best kept secret in the Federation. A lot of people assume Jim did that because he was ashamed of being gay, bi, pan sexual, or whatever. Do you think that was the case?"_ Jane asked.

 _"To be 'out' you don't have to march in a gay pride parade or be featured on the front page of the Interplanetary Advocate. A lot of people don't know about what really happened Jim as a teenager. I can understand why he kept everything a secret from those that do not have a right to know considering what happened on—well you know where. I'm sure you know what happened to people like me there. I'm just glad Jim made it back."_ Jim knew that they were talking about Tarsus without even saying the name.

He was surprised they both understood considering nobody but Spock knew what really happened to him on Tarsus. Then again, his uncle works for an organization that investigates hate crimes and genocide all over the galaxy. If anybody was going to know what really happened on Tarsus, it was going to be him.

 _"Jim and Spock are the only ones who are ever going to see this. We could be more direct."_ Jane stated even though she never mentioned the name of the planet either.

 _"It's not my story to tell. Besides this video should be a happy thing. Jim I am very proud of you for becoming the man you want to be and not giving a [expletive] about being the person others assume you should be. I wish you both all the love in the universe. Congratulations."_ Spock stopped the file just as it faded to black before the next segment.

"At least two of your family members seem happy about our marriage." Spock remarked.

"That's because Jane decided to only include the happy footage. You notice that she conveniently omitted whatever Sam said." Jim said trying to conceal his hurt. He knew Sam never accepted him, but it was still hard to acknowledge that his brother hated him for things he could not control.

"I doubt that it would be anything you would want to hear." Spock added quickly trying to be soothing.

"I would rather know the truth about how people see me than be fed happy pleasantries. Admiral KKK may be a homophobic ass but at least you know where you stand with him. I had no idea Cupcake was capable of doing what he did. You should have read some of the things he said about us during his various interrogations. Do you think I should have told the world what really happened to me on Tarsus?" Spock was actually caught off guard by the question that seemed to come out of nowhere. With a Vulcan husband, that is an amazing thing to do.

"Why do you ask such a question?" he asked with one eye brow raised.

"Because of the Admiral Ks of the worlds are using propaganda and manipulation to fuel their own hateful agenda. I'm sure of it, even if we can't prove it conclusively. I know you studied the holocaust and the Eugenic Wars. If people stay silent, it's easy to ignore the truth." He said with a dark expression as he took back his PADD from Spock and pressed play again.

It was easy to focus on Nyota's notes regarding Natalie's interview as various relatives that he didn't really know chat on in the background. Jim was sure that these people never said anything nice about him until he saved Earth with Spock's help. How many second or third Cousins did he have? At least Spock's distant family (that were still alive) had the decency not to show up. Jim's 'family' ware probably only there for the good free food and to prove that they were related to one of the saviors of Earth.

At this point, Jim was sure that K was the one who forced Natalie to turn over her doomsday virus. How he knew about Jim's connection to her, he was unsure of but he was sure K was behind the entire conspiracy. Jim just needed to prove it. He thought about hacking Natalie's digital diary (because he was sure that she still kept one) but he was not sure he could access it without being detected. A Federation forensic team was probably scouring her files by now. He wasn't sure what to look at next. He decided to take a break when the mommy interview came on.

Should he be surprised at all that this interview took place at the bar? There were at least three empty shot glasses next to Winona. That almost explained why things went badly so quickly.

 _"You never asked me to make any comments for this wedding video project."_ Winona said with her words slightly slurred. _"I found out from Sam."_

 _"After that disastrous interview, I decided to stick with family members that can hold their tongues for the sake of propriety. We both know you cannot do that. I had just as much of a right to be at the photo shoot as you did."_ Jane said that last part so low that probably only the microphone picked up.

 _"I don't know what Sam said but I apologize. It's just normal sibling jealousy. They've never got along."_ Winona said as an excuse. That's what she always said even when he had the bruises to prove otherwise.

 _“If you believe that, you're blinder than I ever thought you were. Do you have any idea what he did to Jimmy as a kid?"_ Jane asked incredulously.

 _"I know there was fighting. Brothers always fight with each other."_ Winona's response triggered Jane's 'you got to be kidding me' facial expression. She was already annoyed and this conversation had barely started.

 _"Fighting usually doesn't involve holding a child's significantly younger than you down to the ground as you lets your stepfather beat the hell out of him as they both repeatedly call him things like [expletive][expletive]."_ Jane looked ready to kill at that point.

 _"I didn't know."_ Winona said in a whisper.

 _"You did not want to know. Jim was an inconvenience for you. Motherhood was an inconvenience for you, especially after George was gone. You always put yourself first. I think that's the real reason why you never acknowledge that Frank was beating the hell out of your little boy. If you did, you would have to leave Starfleet behind."_ Jane spat out with venom.

 _"That's not true."_ Winona cried.

 _"We both know that is absolute [expletive]. You did not even come back to earth until I said I would reveal all your dirty laundry to the entire galaxy. He almost died on Tarsus but you didn't give a [expletive]."_ She was crying by that point, she was so upset.

 _"I did care, and I did come back. I couldn't let you use him for your own ratings related purposes."_ That excuse made Jane angrier.

 _"I wasn't going to. If that threat didn't make you come back, nothing was going to. I was going to keep him myself. Maybe I should have anyway, considering you kicked him out when you found out he was gay."_ Jane said in pure anger.

 _"I did no such thing."_ Winona screamed back.

 _"Go ahead and tell yourself that. I was more of a mom to him than you ever were."_ Jane said looking her directly in the eyes. _“I didn't leave him with Frank. I didn't send him off to die on some remote colony ran by some psychopath who thought he was the second coming of Hitler just for the sake of my job."_

 _"That didn't happen."_ Winona tried to interrupt but Jane would not let her.

 _"Just shut up. Aunt Clara said she offered but you said no. His uncle Nathan would have said yes too, if you bothered to ask. You could have petitioned Starfleet for an exception and they would have let Jim come on board. God knows you qualified since your husband died in the line of duty. Hell, I would've taken him if you asked."_ She was yelling by that point.

 _"He loved his aunt. I didn't know what was going to happen there. No one did. Besides why would I give him to you, you're not family."_ That was a very low blow.

_"Family is more than blood. Family is about love. I love Jim like a son. I'm not sure you ever did."_

_"You [expletive] [expletive]"_ Winona said just as she charged Jane knocking over three bar stools in the process. Thanks to the profanity filter most of the discussion was blocked by this point. Although, he had a pretty good idea what was being said with all the punching and kicking. The pair destroyed two tables before Spock managed to render both women unconscious. Although, what happened next he had no idea.

 _"What the [expletive] did you do to my mother you [expletive] alien [expletive]?"_ Sam asked as he tried to attack Spock. His husband merely moved out of the way before trapping both of Sam's arms.

 _"I did nothing but diffuse the situation as I am doing now. I know that you dislike your brother for reasons that I cannot comprehend; however, I do expect you to act like a civilized person."_ Jim is not completely sure what Sam said next because the family friendly filter went wild. Spock's response was to knock Sam out the human way. That's when the file ended.

"You punched out my brother?" Jim asked in disbelief. Nobody told him about this.

"It seemed the most prudent course of action." He responded non-plus.

"Not arguing with the prudence of it because god only knows I would love to render him unconscious myself but I'm just surprised that he got you to the point where you would utilize physical violence. What the hell did he say to you?" Jim questioned.

"I prefer not to repeat what he said. It was inappropriate." Spock replied still looking distressed.

"I can tell by the fact that the profanity filter blocked all of it. I'm going along with something similar to what got you to punch out a certain idiotic classmate in Vulcan middle school." Jim suggested.

"Something along those lines, you missed the part where he vowed revenge on both of us when he regained consciousness. That part was not captured on camera."

"Yet in light of this you still forced me to send him a Christmas card this year?" Jim asked incredulously.

"He's still your brother." Spock said as if that explains everything.

"No, he's not." Jim said not looking at his husband. "Not after that." Jim said as he picked up his PADD to send an e-mail. It was time to let Pike know that he knew what was happening. More important, it was time to let him know that he had another possible suspect in this grand conspiracy.


	9. Interview number 22631016a Admiral Christopher Pike and 226310168b lieutenant Shawn Caraway.

Spock learned long ago that James should never write anything when angry. There was a certain diplomatic incident triggered by a certain expletive filled piece of official correspondence during the early part of James' captaincy that Spock is still dealing with. Spock is very thankful that James chose to contact Shawn instead of Admiral Pike earlier. Actually, James should not do anything when angry. The bridge incident easily comes to mind as evidence of why this is not advantageous. The only thing James can truly do in a state of rage without adverse consequence is sexual intercourse and unfortunately, for the sake of James health, that was not feasible at this time. After Jim's three expletive filled attempts to write Admiral Pike, Spock took it on himself to compose the correspondence.   
XXX  
From: Spock-KirkX  
To: PikeCA  
BCC:Kirk-SpockJT;  
Time sent: 10/16/2264 17:21:45  
Subject: (S/NNF) We are fully aware of the true nature of our quarantine.  
(SBU) We are disappointed that you did not see it advantageous to notify James and myself of the real situation regarding the most recent assassination attempt on my husband and myself. Did you actually think that we would not eventually see past the subterfuge? We are both highly qualified Starfleet personnel and can take care of ourselves. We do not need a “babysitter” as James would say. You do not need to keep highly painful personal information from James or myself out of fear of our reaction. I am disappointed that you would think that these actions were necessary. I always thought that you knew me better than that. Now, I realize you never knew me at all.   
(S/NNF) Now that we are aware of the true situation regarding the most recent assassination attempt, James and I have uncovered important evidence, despite being in an undisclosed isolated location with limited resources. Please see the attached video files. Also attached are the financial records of one George S. Kirk. Please look closely at three transactions made within the two-week period before the attempted assassination and the corporation that provided these funds. There is very little information related to its existence, leading both James and myself to conclude that it is nothing more than a mere shell corporation. According to the financials that we were able to pull from Mr. Cupcake, the same corporation deposited vast sums in his account.  
(SBU) Although isolated, we did still provide valuable information as stated above. Keeping us from participating in this investigation is counterproductive at best and reckless at worse.  
XXX  
“Yes, you’re really being so mature about this, you big Vulcan baby. You're not being petty at all,” James mentioned after he read his copy of the message during their special anniversary dinner supplied by Nyota. After an unsuccessful round of what James refers to as 20 Questions with Dr. McCoy, they are still unsure of their current location. However, judging by the quality of the cuisine, there must be a four star Vegan restaurant in the vicinity.   
“Maybe this is just because I know you better than anyone else in the universe, but you are obviously pissed about him not telling you about the engagement. You have been referring to him as Admiral Pike. It is never good when you refer to anybody you’re close to by their surname,” James said as he stabbed his fork into his steak. Spock’s dinner was vegan; however, James was allowed animal protein to facilitate healing. Spock tolerated this indulgence.  
“I am Vulcan. We do not become ‘pissed’ whether it is by the American definition of the term or the British,” Spock responded as he took a drink of his water. Although champagne was sent with the dinner, Dr. McCoy refused to let either consume the beverage, claiming that it would interact with their medication. James believes this was done for the sole purpose of consuming the beverage himself. Spock believes this is possible.  
“I have video files of you being drunk, saved somewhere for blackmail purposes, so please do not try that line on me,” Jim said, placing a bite of the steak in his mouth. “I've also had to deal with you choking me outside of a sex game because I said the wrong thing about your mom. You do pissed better than anyone else I know.” Due to the fact that Dr. McCoy did not make a snide comment about the sex games comment, Spock assumed he was not listening to this part of the conversation.  
“I am not angry at Admiral Pike for not informing us of his upcoming nuptials. His personal life has always been a very private thing for him and I do not expect that to change in the immediate future or at all. Actually, the fact that he has announced the engagement at all is more shocking than anything else,” Spock said as he consumed his grilled eggplant. He was not upset about his ex getting married.   
He has moved on. He may be slightly upset about the fact Christopher is now perfectly OK with being in a public relationship with Shawn when he was never that comfortable with Spock. Apparently, he is also now comfortable with the idea of marriage, when the mere mention of it lead to the end of their relationship. If it was not for the fact that he was happily married now, this would be a blow to the ego he claims that he does not have. Now, it is a minor irritation.   
“Again, try that on someone else who doesn’t know you. You just managed to pulverize your eggplant. That’s angry Spock sign number 423, smashing food into little bitty bits without realizing it.” Spock looked down at his plate to see that James was absolutely right.  
“If I am upset about anything, it is the fact that he did not disclose the true nature of the current situation. Being unaware of what actually happened is counterproductive. Even if there is a medical need for us to be quarantine, we can still be of use,” Spock said in his defense.  
“I’m sure you’re upset about that. I’m angry as hell about it. I'm not going to argue with you. We're going to be stuck in here for a few more days at the very least and I don't like it when you're mad at me, even if bedroom privileges are off the table. Therefore, I am going to eat my lobster that your ex girlfriend provided and keep my mouth shut,” Jim said as his fork moved to the crustacean.  
“That would be quite advantageous,” Spock said before starting on his string beans. They were also mashed.  
“It’s just that after a year of marriage, I would hope that you would be more willing to open up to me. If I was upset about my ex boyfriend marrying someone else I would tell you,” James said, almost mumbling. This told Spock that he really was not dropping the subject, but merely changing his approach.  
“Are you upset?” Spock questioned.  
“That Shawn is getting married? Not really. Shawn and I did not have that type of relationship. Am I upset that someone who is supposed to be a good friend didn’t tell me something so monumental? The obvious answer is yes. Although, I forgive him because his excuse about Chris not telling us when he was supposed to is plausible.”  
“Maybe because we did not have that type of a relationship is the reason why I am upset about the situation with the admiral,” Spock told his husband.   
“Finally, you own up to the fact that you’re upset,” James said raising his arms in the air as if he were celebrating something.  
“I am not upset,” Spock said quickly.  
“Again, your denial does not work on me,” Jim said, literally pointing a finger at Spock.  
“Will you two shut up and enjoy your dinner. Some of us are forced to eat that garbage from the replicator instead of some fancy dinner from two of the best restaurants on this planet,” Dr. McCoy yelled from his observation post.   
“We have to get the tension out somehow,” James said smiling at the doctor. “Since you won’t let us fuck, this is the only outlet we have. Really, it’s your own fault.” The doctor just sighed at that and was not heard for the rest of dinner. The subject of Christopher was also avoided for the rest of dinner, to his preference.   
XXX  
Spock checked his e-mail after dinner, but he had yet to receive a message from the admiral. However, he did receive several digital anniversary gifts from his father and other acquaintances in his personal e-mail account. James was currently upset that Sarek sent them a gift card that could only be used at the hotel they were going to stay at before everything happened.  
“Really, you would think, at the very least, he would make his assistant switch it to something we could use later on when he found out about the quarantine. Also, he did not even ask you how you were doing,” James said indignantly.  
“He most likely did this for security reasons. Our personal e-mail accounts are unsecure and there is a probability that they are being monitored by those responsible for the assassination attempt. He did not want to give the impression that anything was wrong,” Spock explained logically. It made perfect sense to him.  
“Do you always make up excuses for why your father acts like a dick?” James asked pointedly.   
“To be able to make an excuse you must understand why an individual behaves in a certain way. I have yet to discern why he behaves in a particular manner," Spock said in response.   
"I don’t think many would be able to. As much as I would love to talk about why your father acts like an idiot most of the time, I want to do something productive."   
“Do you want to find more about the shell company that funneled 125,000 credits into your brother's bank account from October 1 until the day of the incident?" Spock questioned.  
"Not right now. I have a headache. Looking at a tiny PADD screen is not going to help. I think that we should go through more of the video files for clues. We already discovered a connection between my brother and a certain former admiral that fucking hates me. I’m sure that there must be something important that we're missing," Jim suggested.  
“We should start by watching the footage of the interviews with the various members of the Admiralty, beginning with Admiral Pike,” Spock suggested, because he wanted to watch this file first for personal reasons.  
“We should start with the files of the Admiralty but Pike should be the last one we watch. The part that was in the video was unbelievably fluffy and was obviously filmed in Jane’s study probably weeks before the wedding. Nothing is going to be there. I seriously doubt that your ex-boyfriend wants to kill you.” Spock was unable to counter this argument and therefore they started by watching Jane's interview with three of the admirals that knew Jim from the academy, including Admiral Camel who was Jim’s academic adviser. The most important thing they learned from this hour of anecdotes was Admiral K's reaction to the announcement of the couple’s impending nuptials. To say that he was angry was a gross simplification.  
“I knew that he was pissed, but I had no idea he was trying to get us court martialled for being gay or for whatever ridiculous reason he came up with. Of course, he didn’t get that far, but still it’s the principle of the entire thing,” Jim said, smirking.  
“I am still shocked to find out that Christopher revealed his true orientation during the confrontation.” Spock was convinced that Chris would die before publicly acknowledging his sexual orientation. In a society where it was not that big of a deal anymore, Spock could not understand why he was so reluctant.  
“Why are you surprised? Chris always has our backs. He did save our asses after a certain incident we don't talk about,” James told him with a poignant look.  
“He saved you.” James just looked at him peculiarly for a moment after Spock spoke.  
“Whatever you say.” He said this in a way that told Spock that James was just humoring him.  
“During the entire course of our relationship, we were never seen in public together. When we would have dinner at Admiral Barnett's home, we would take separate transportation. I do not see that pattern of behavior changing so soon,” Spock said truthfully.  
“Finally, the truth comes out,” Jim said in slight frustration. “Do you think that maybe he stopped being that way because of you.”  
“I find that highly improbable.”   
“You changed me for the better, so I could see you doing that for somebody else. If anybody is ecstatic about him fucking up the way he did, it’s me. However, maybe he did learn something. People change. Maybe he realized how badly he screwed up and he decided to not do that again?”  
 ** _‘Why could he not do that before?’_** Spock thought to himself, or so he assumed.  
“I heard that!” Jim shouted in an infantile manner.  
“You heard nothing because I did not say anything out loud,” Spock said in his defense.  
“You know what I mean. Sometimes, you think too loud. Do you ever think that maybe he changed because he lost you?” Spock had no idea how to respond to that question. After a few moments of silence James suggested that they watch Christopher's video.  
“I thought you wanted to watch that footage last?" Spock questioned.  
“We’ve already gone through an hour of watching various Admirals say nice things about us that they obviously don’t mean. That wasn’t very productive. If nothing else, Chris’s video will be entertaining.”  
“I am certain that Admiral Archer really does want to kick you in the genitals,” Spock remarked.   
“I think that’s mostly because Jane told him about the car incident. Good thing he is retired now, otherwise we would have had to spend our honeymoon freezing our asses off on Delta Vega,” James said before clicking on the file name.   
  
Instead of the interview starting, the program went into a sub folder containing three more files. One had Christopher’s name on it, the other had Shawn’s name on it. The final folder was labeled the happy couple interview. Spock was sure this is what they saw in the official wedding video. Even Spock found that footage uncharacteristically cheery. As Nyota told him when they were watching the original video together, nobody is that well adjusted in a situation like that. He originally assumed that interview took place months before the wedding, but it most likely took place a few days after if the label which also functions as a time stamp was any indication.  
“If Jane is using her usual system for labeling, I’m pretty sure that Shawn’s thing was filmed during the annual meeting of the Jim Kirk ex club. I don’t even want to know what they had to say. Can we please just skip this?” Jim said with a groan.  
“It may be beneficial. Do you really think your former significant others gathered together annually to talk about you?” Spock asked, raising one eyebrow.  
“Apparently, the non-crazy ones do,” Jim said as he started the file.   
On the screen was the same booth at the pizza restaurant where the Jim Kirk ex club interviews took place earlier. Now the table was littered with empty plates and napkins.  
 _“Okay, now that you are full with pizza and all the other members of your little club have left, it is your turn to give your well wishes to the happy couple,”_ Nyota said as she picked at the remnants of her salad.  
 _“I already did that two days ago when Jane interviewed me and Chris, or at least tried to anyway,”_ Shawn told her with a frown  
 _“How did that go?”_ Nyota asked, smirking.  
 _“The bastard is still sleeping on the couch.”_  
 _“What happened? You guys looked fine at the wedding,”_ she said, grabbing her friend’s hand.  
 _“I’m not going to have my boyfriend look bad in front of his colleagues. I kept my mouth shut until we got home.”_ Nyota just gave him a dark look.   
 _“Okay, I may have yelled a little bit but nobody was watching except that slimy [expletive] that everybody hates. Did you know that Spock had no idea that his ex had a new boyfriend?”_ Shawn asked casually as Nyota put her head in her hand again.  
 _"Considering that I didn’t know that you were dating my admiral until I saw you two making out right before the rehearsal dinner, I know Spock didn’t know anything. Actually, up until two days before the ceremony, I thought that we were going to be each other’s dates to our ex boyfriends’ wedding,”_ she said with a pout. _“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a date to the wedding of the year two days before?”_  
 _“I don’t know, you seemed to be having fun with the good doctor. So, is there anything going on between you two?”_ Spock has been wondering the same thing for some time now, but knew better than to ask that question. James currently was not looking at the screen. He could also hear loud coughing somewhere in the distance.   
 _“Don’t try to turn this conversation on me,” Nyota told him as she literally wagged a finger in front of Shawn’s face. “Why did you keep this from me? This is not your usual type of hookup. You rarely go for older guys.”_  
 _“I told you I was dating a guy named Chris and he was a bit of a closet case and, compared to the 30 year age difference between my parents, he’s not that much older than me. How was I supposed to know that he would use us going public as a means to deflect from the wedding of the one that got away? I couldn’t even talk to him about it until we got home as we were being followed by Barbara_ _Sawyer,”_ Shawn said bitterly. _“I’m going to need more beer for this conversation.”_ That’s when the waitress was called over for more alcohol.  
 _“You think that’s what he’s doing?”_ Nyota asked him.  
“ _I don’t know. I was okay with keeping our relationship low profile. That never really bothered me. After everything with my mom, I never want to be anybody’s trophy husband--boyfriend. I think that’s why we worked,”_ Shawn said before taking the offered beer.  
 _“That’s because you don’t want anybody to think that you got ahead because you screwed an Admiral. Also, you want to avoid being your mother at all costs. He was keeping you and Spock his dirty little secret because somewhere in that mind of his, he is convinced it is still the early 21st century where it was illegal to be gay and in the military in what was once the United States. Back then, the woman that all female Starfleet personnel consider their patron saint had to come out in her obituary. There may be certain people like K that are stuck in the dark ages, but the rest of us have moved past that. Hell, even Jim had a better reason for keeping things quiet.”_  
 _“Preventing being chased down by the Barbara Sawyers of the world is always a good reason,” Shawn snickered.  
“I told you so,”_ Nyota told him with a smug expression.   
  
 _“But Chris had other reasons too. Admiral K isn’t the only one stuck in the dark ages. I wouldn’t be spending a good portion of my day dealing with EEO complaints if that were the case. You know that Starfleet was a little bit different 30 years ago. Chris’s first commanding officer was Jim’s dad way back when he was fresh off the shuttle and barely legal. Don’t get me wrong, they were friends, but there were certain things that he said to Chris that made him keep his sexual preferences to himself, as soon as he realized what they were.”  
_ “I didn’t know that. I knew they were friends. Then again, nobody really talks about my father that much unless they are talking about his sacrifice or how much I look like him. Did you?” James asked and Spock fought the urge to frown. He was only now realizing how lacking the communication was between him and Christopher. Compared to him and James, it was almost nonexistent.  
"He only spoke about your father in relation to his dissertation for his graduate work in command." James knew by the crinkle of his brow that what he was really saying was ‘Christopher would never share something that personal with me.’ He did not need to say the words because James just knew.  
 _"What did he say?"_ Nyota asked on screen after a few moments of stunned silence.  
 _"Chris never gave specifics, but I’m sure it’s along the lines of what Jim’s brother said during the wedding, but maybe not as bad. The apple never falls that far from the tree on that type of thing. After talking to that guy, I can understand why Jim had so many issues. That whole family is [expletive] up,”_ Shawn said with an exaggerated shiver.  
“ _Yes and not all of them are from George Kirk's sacrifice,”_ Nyota added in agreement. _“I’m starting to think Jim is the normal one.”_ Both laughed at that, but Jim just frowned. This told Spock that he did not appreciate someone else making snide comments about his family. In response, Spock grabbed his _hand and gently stroked his fingers in affection._ _  
“Chris also has one of those in the family. I hope you never have to meet his Great Aunt Lana. She makes Admiral K seem like a nice person. The one and only time I met her, she told me I was going to hell because I’m a [expletive] and that was one of the nicer things she said. I’m not even going to repeat the rest.”_ Spock was upset to hear this and yet he wasn’t surprised.  
He was with Christopher for nearly three years yet he never mentioned this person. Actually, he never mentioned his family at all. Due to the clandestine nature of their relationship, Spock never actually meant any of these family members, yet Shawn did. James had a very antagonistic relationship with much of his biological family, but Spock knew all about this. He was even forced to endure a Kirk family reunion quite early in their relationship, even if he was only introduced as a good friend.   
In his earlier e-mail to Christopher he said that he did not know Spock at all. Now Spock wonders if the same applies to him. Did he really know the man he dated for three years? The obvious answer is no, especially when he compares it to how well he knows James.  
“Do you find it odd that the profanity filter is okay with the word hell but not the F word?” James questioned as Nyota pressed Shawn for more information about his meeting with the Pike family. It obviously was not pleasant and Spock was glad he was spared this encounter. Dealing with the Kirk family was enough for one lifetime.  
"The word fuck is much more culturally offensive than hell in present day society," Spock said paying more attention to the people on screen than his husband.  
"I meant the other F word," James said with a sigh.  
“There are many words in standard that began with F, you need to specify,” Spock said, knowing what word James was referring to. He was called that word a lot by a certain adolescent classmate who will remain nameless.  
“Never mind,” James told him as he placed his head in his lap.  
  
 _“That would explain so much,”_ Nyota said thoughtfully after Shawn recounted the entire encounter with the Pike family. _“I’m surprised you survived it all. Are you sure he didn’t get switched at birth?”_ Shawn just laughed at her comment.  
“ _Unfortunately, he has his aunt's eyes. Considering all that, you can imagine my surprise when I find out that my boyfriend decides that he was taking me to the wedding of the year. I should have known that he had an ulterior motive. Not everyone can be as comfortable as you are with your ex getting married,”_ Shawn said smiling.  
 _“Thank you for actually realizing that I am perfectly OK with it. Although, I don’t think I count as the girlfriend, maybe just his girl friend. I was the rebound and that was only because he is really not that good at communicating his feelings,”_ she said with a smirk.  
“Or not communicating anything at all,” he hears Jim mumble under his breath. Spock just glared at his husband.  
 _"Unless you are Jim Kirk or you can decipher Vulcan eyebrow twitches,”_ Nyota added. _“Sometimes, I think he’s really using Morse Code. I’m currently working on a translation key.”_ James was currently trying to stifle his laughter at Nyota but he was not successful.  
 _“Do you think you can work on deciphering my boyfriend? Chris is just as bad, if not worse. At least in the case of Mr. Spock, he can blame it on growing up in a society where expressing your emotions was culturally taboo. Chris does not have that excuse,”_ Shawn said in irritation.  
 _“Sorry, I can’t help you there,”_ Nyota said apologetically.  
“ _Actually, Chris is not good at telling people anything. He excels at lying though. I only agreed to go with him to the wedding if he would give Spock a warning ahead of time. Jim already knew I was going to be there because he invited me. I was not anticipating him freaking out about me dating his father figure. That was bad on my part.”_ _  
“I think Jim was much more freaked out than Spock was, but again, I’m still working on deciphering the language of eyebrows,”_ Nyota joked, but Spock just raised an eyebrow in annoyance.  
 _“I didn’t know about the father figure thing until I found out we were going to the rehearsal dinner. Blame that again on my boyfriend’s inferior communication skills. Instead of doing what I asked, he lied to me about talking to Spock. I know that he lied to me because Spock managed to crush a chair when he saw us together,”_ Shawn spat out in irritation.  
  
“You crushed a chair?” James asked his husband with his mouth open.  
"No, I tripped over a chair.” James gives him a suspicious look, but says nothing. Spock was glad because he did not want to discuss it.  
 _"I really don’t want to talk about it,”_ Shawn said on screen. “ _I’ll forgive Chris later after a bit more begging and maybe a [expletive]."_ Nyota just rolled her eyes. Spock was just thankful for the family friendly filter. There are just some things one does not want to know. That includes the sex life of your former significant other.  
 _"And maybe some nice jewelry,"_ she added.   
 _"I’m a guy. We like food, alcohol, and oral sex. We don’t need jewelry or flowers. A box of chocolates would be nice though.”  
"There are chocolate diamonds. Fine, you win. Besides, look who just walked in,”_ she said, pointing to James’s brother, who despite wearing a baseball cap was quite recognizable, especially with the black eye that most likely came from Spock. _“I really would like to avoid getting arrested this shore leave. If I stay here that’s not going to happen.”_  
“ _I understand. I’m pretty sure I also saw Admiral KKK walking in and I still want to smack the [expletive] for what he said to me a couple weeks ago,”_ Shawn said in a whisper, but the microphone still heard it.  
 _"Yes, it’s definitely time to leave if my favorite pacifist is ready to give way to physical violence,"_ Nyota said as she picked up the remote for the camera. As she did this the person, Jim refers to as ‘cupcake’ walked behind the table. _“This concludes this portion of the Embarrass Jim and Spock project.”_ Just as the screen went black, Spock could see the three men sitting together at the same table. This seemed quite suspicious.  
"It is not simple coincidence that those three were meeting together at that particular restaurant, especially considering that it is a well-known fact that Admiral K is lactose intolerant. It seems highly improbable that these three individuals, with very little in common, gathered together randomly. Your brother also despises all things Starfleet related. Contrary to your assumption, we did find something helpful watching Christopher’s video,” Spock pointed out, to James' visible irritation.  
"We have yet to watch Christopher’s video file. It could still be considered coincidental.” James argued.  
“I could give you the exact probability of the three individuals randomly meeting together at that particular location,” Spock remarked already having the number in his head.  
“There’s no need for that. I’m still going to tell Chris when he gets back to us, regardless. Let’s just move on to the next piece of footage.” Jim said as he started to play Christopher’s video file.  
This time he recognized the room from their wedding reception. Considering everything was still in place, Spock assumed this was probably early in the evening. Most likely before they returned from the extremely long photo shoot but after Winona forced Jane to leave. The camera instantly focused on Christopher and Shawn sitting at one of the tables. Jane is now in front of the camera. Mrs. Barnett created a special camera that will follow her when she is shooting.  
 _“Thank god there’s a member of the Admiralty here that I don’t have to kiss the ass of,”_ Mrs. Barnett said, approaching Christopher with arms wide open.  
 _“Like you would do that anyway. Remember the winter season party last year? You almost punched someone,”_ Christopher said as he returned the gesture. _“I thought you were supposed to be at the wedding photo shoot to provide adult supervision,”_ he joked.  
 _“Winona kicked me out because I’m not Jim’s real mother. [Expletive] [Expletive],"_ Jane complained.  
 _“You are more of a mother to him than she was half of the time,”_ Pike mumbled.  
“ _We all know that but this is a happy day. I’m not going to let her ruin my baby’s wedding. Is this the guy you have been telling me about? I usually get to meet your serious boyfriend’s early on, but I have been in the middle of nowhere for the last few months,”_ she said, referring to her time on the new Vulcan colony.  
 _“That’s because usually nobody gets to meet Chris’ boyfriends except you and your wonderful husband. We did have a few dinners with your husband and your youngest daughter when you were off planet. I’m Shawn. I think I met you once before when you did a press-briefing workshop with Starfleet legal a couple years ago. I was the one asking all the civil rights related questions,”_ Shawn said, extending a hand.  
 _"I’ve tried to block out anything I get talked into doing during private time. But I think I remember you,"_ Jane said, taking a drink before she began to interrogate Shawn, asking every sort of question she could think of from age to political affiliation. She did the same thing to him when Christopher brought him to her house for the first time. He faced a much deeper interrogation the first time they spoke after she found out he and James were a couple.  
"I tried to block out the thought of my mother figure having private time with anyone," Jim said with a shudder. “I feel sorry for all of the future boyfriends or girlfriends of my pseudo little sisters. They are completely screwed.” Spock agreed with the assessment, having gone through her interrogation more than once and knowing full well that James will also threaten anyone interested in the two girls that he considers sisters with certain death if they do anything inappropriate.   
"Considering that she had those two daughters with Admiral Barnett, it is only logical to conclude that she has engaged in intercourse at some point in her life. There is also the fact that she sends you certain care packages," Spock said pointedly as Jane’s questions became more invasive on screen. She was currently asking him about his past sexual history. Fortunately she has yet to uncover his previous relationship with James.  
“I like to think that she conceived my little sisters the same way we will create our future children, a test tube and a gestational carrier. I try not to think of how the care packages get here. My relationship with Jane is complex," Jim said with a slight shiver. Spock could understand his response, considering he felt the same way about his own parents previously.   
"Creation of a child by such means does not preclude sexual intercourse,” Spock said in response. “Also, in our case a gestational carrier may not be necessary due to the uniqueness of Vulcan anatomy."  
"We will not know if those parts are functional on you until you go through your first fuck or die cycle. That’s still a few years off if your biological clock is working the same way it did in the other timeline. We could ask 'you know who' about the 'being able to carry children thing' but I think that’s kind of rude.” Spock agreed with Jim about that.  
"I would prefer that you not refer to that particular biological condition by such a ridiculous moniker," Spock chided cryptically not wanting to disclose the existence of Pon Farr to anybody who will view the security footage later.  
"Last time I called 'you know what' by its proper name, you got all super Vulcan on me. I’m not having that happen again. This room is just too small to deal with you when you are like that. I think we should just go back to watching the video file,” Jim said, pressing the play button, and Spock had no choice but to glare at him. He did not become super Vulcan last time that occurred, whatever Jim means by that.  
 _“It’s nice to meet you anyway and in public of all places. I am just happy that Chris actually brought a boyfriend to this. So how many of my unesteemed colleagues have followed you?”_ Jane asked with her trademark smirk.  
 _“I’m pretty sure I saw Barbara Sawyer hiding out in the men’s room, but I was able to get out of there before she pounced,”_ Christopher joked.  
 _“I will let security know to keep an eye out for her. Seriously, you would think she could leave Jimmy alone for one day,”_ Jane remarked in irritation  
 _"I’m just happy I could provide a distraction,"_ Christopher said smirking.  
 _"And what a distraction you are,"_ Shawn said, kissing him on the cheek and causing one undercover reporter to blow his cover by trying to take a picture of the couple. He was escorted out a few moments later.  
 _"Why exactly do you have a camera following behind you?"_ Christopher asked, once the security situation was dealt with.  
 _"For my wedding present, I’m doing the wedding video. I’m going around interviewing lots of Jim and Spock’s friends and family. I got most of the Admiralty that I can tolerate a couple weeks ago, but you were on some top secret mission at the time,"_ Jane joked.   
 _“That top secret mission was the Pike Family reunion,”_ Christopher said with a groan.  
 _"I think I would rather have dealt with Klingons,”_ Shawn said with a frown.  
 _“I assume that you met Aunt Lana?”_ Jane asked. This meant that even Jane knew about the problems of Christopher’s family when Spock did not.   
 _“Unfortunately, yes,”_ Shawn confirmed, but did not elaborate.  
 _"I’d rather not talk about my family. So what do I need to do for this special project of yours?"_ Christopher asked.   
" _Give me a happy message for the couple or feel free to share embarrassing stories. Although considering one of the two is your ex-boyfriend, I’m not sure what type of message you want to give. I would suggest something, but your boyfriend is present,”_ Jane said with a fake smile.  
 _“I do have this embarrassing story about having to get Jim out of jail after almost causing a riot at a certain purple theme club, but I’m sure Spock already knows about that,”_ Christopher said with a smile. Spock did indeed know about this incident, but only recently discovered that Jim was the cadet in question who ruined that weekend.   
 _“If you want to suggest ‘sorry I was an absolute Dick to you because I kept you my dirty little secret,’ go ahead. I would suggest the exact same thing. While you’re thinking of what to say, let me do my own message."  
“Wouldn’t that be a little unusual seeing that you are just the new boyfriend?”_ Jane asked with a peculiar expression.  
 _"I’m an old friend of Jim’s from the academy. We have known each other for years. Jimmy, congratulations on finally finding that one person who you could completely give yourself to. We both knew that it was never going to be me. I’m glad that you found him. I wish you happiness and love. To the happy couple,”_ Shawn said, raising his glass, but Jane just stared open mouthed before finding her composure again.  
 _"Were you friends by the standard definition of the term or the Vulcan? I’m thinking the latter from your statement,”_ Jane asked.  
 _“Your suspicions are correct.”_ As soon as Shawn responded, Jane smacked Christopher in the shoulder.   
 _"You are a [expletive] idiot. I can’t believe you’re doing this to Jim and Spock on their big day. Just because you’re mad that your ex has moved on doesn’t mean you can pull a stunt like this. It was your own damn fault anyway. As the old song says, ‘if you like it, then you should have put a ring on it’."_ Jane actually sang that line. He remembered that line from a song played at the reception.   
“Okay, now I understand why Ny dragged you on the dance floor for that song after Shawn forced the DJ to play it. Those two have a wicked sense of humor,” Jim reminded him. Spock was tempted to add the fact that he was under the influence of alcohol laced chocolate when he was forced on the dance floor.   
 _“I know I’m going to like you. It’s fine,”_ Shawn said, trying to calm Jane down. _"Chris talked to Jim and Spock about me being here as his date. They were fine with it.”_ _  
“Considering that I have footage of Jim almost collapsing when he saw you at the rehearsal dinner proves otherwise. Then there was the angry rant in the coat room that followed. I know he broke something but I’m not sure what,”_ Jane told Shawn and he seemed quite angry at that.  
The last portion of dialogue that could be deciphered before the profanity filter obscured everything else _“You lied to me you [expletive expletive expletive expletive].”_ _  
_“You know that everyone’s least favorite admiral is sitting behind smiling the entire time. Cupcake is there too. Maybe that’s when this grand conspiracy began. I don’t even remember inviting him to the wedding,” Jim said pointing at the screen  
"If you remember correctly we had to invite all the senior crew members," Spock reminded his husband.  
"Stupid protocol. Thank god, you are an ambassador’s son and he is perfectly OK with dishing out 400 credits a head for people we can’t stand to be at the wedding. No wonder Barbara Sawyer was able to sneak into the festivities, there were like 1000 people at the damn thing. 950 of them, I couldn’t even stand. I think K came up with the assassination plot at the wedding because we stupidly allowed all the people that hate us to be in the same place at the same time. Tell me agai,n why we did not have a private ceremony on some remote island?” Jim asked Spock with pleading eyes.  
“Because we were threatened with separate assignments if we would not allow Starfleet to use our wedding for their own marketing purposes.”  
"Great, the idiots used the fact I can’t function without you for their evil purposes," Jim said with a sigh. “You know, considering how much Shawn and Pike argued, I am a little surprised that they are engaged now."  
“Two words Jim boy: bridge incident,” Dr. McCoy said over the intercom system.  
"Don’t you have something better to do then interrupt my private conversation with my husband?" James asked with a hand on his hip.  
"I was supposed to be drinking frozen sugary rum drinks on a beach somewhere. Instead, I’m babysitting your ass because you pissed off the wrong person," the doctor yelled.  
“I’m not sure what I did that made me a target other than being myself,” Jim said in his defense.  
“That’s enough most days,” the doctor mumbled.  
“You do remember that I am your boss and I can make it so that you never have shore leave again?” Jim asked, smirking directly at the camera.  
“You keep that up and I may take back your anniversary present.” Spock was unsure what the doctor meant by that.  
“Fine, I am shutting up now. Oh look, the arguing has stopped," Jim said, pointing to the screen. Jane ended the altercation when she suggested that Shawn visit the food table.  
 _"Why did I think I could come to this wedding?"_ Christopher asked, grabbing a glass of champagne off a tray passing by.  
 _“That’s because Jim can talk anybody into doing anything. Are you okay?”_ she asked, grabbing his hand.  
 _“Not really,”_ Christopher said with a sigh.  
 _"Nobody does well at their ex-boyfriend’s wedding. Fortunately I never had to go to any of mine_ ," she said laughing.  
 _"I’m not upset for the reason that you think I am. This whole thing is a reminder of what I lost because of my stupidity."  
"That’s exactly what I thought it was. You haven’t lost anything. It just wasn’t meant to be and I know that for a fact. You can’t fight destiny. It could’ve been a lot worse.” _ As Jane said this, Spock wondered if his other self told her something about Christopher’s fate in the other dimension. _“Even though I just met him, I like Shawn. He might just be right for you in a slightly deranged way. Of course, if you don’t follow him he might be the one who got away. Bring him to dinner next Saturday. No excuses. I probably need to start on the family interviews now, but I’m not drunk enough yet,”_ she said, calling for more champagne.  
 _“That’s not going to be pleasant,"_ Christopher remarked.  
 _"I’m just going to avoid Winona, otherwise I’m going to knock her out,"_ Jane said.  
“If only she did that,” Jim said, burying his head under a pillow.  
 _“I meant George junior."  
“Lovely,”_ she said, groaning.  
 _"Just like his dad, repeating the same idiotic stuff,"_ Chris said darkly.  
 _"I always assumed that he learned that from Frank,"_ Jane said with a thoughtful look.  
 _"Winona has always been a bit blind. George was a great guy but there were some things about him that I didn’t like. Frank was the same way."_ Christopher was clenching his fists at this point.  
" _Yet, I doubt that he has anything redeemable. I am just happy he’s still in jail,"_ Jane said as she finished her new glass of champagne.  
 _"Everyone is."_ Those were the final words in the video file.  
"I’m guessing that the footage we actually saw in the official video was in the third file," Jim said thoughtfully a few moments later.  
“Do you want to watch that next?” Spock asked his husband.  
"We can do that later. As of 3 seconds ago, Bones’ anniversary present just went into effect. This means it’s time for me to give you your present.” That’s when James pinned him to the bed in a searing kiss. Spock pulled away quickly, or rather after he regained composure 2.3 minutes later.  
“We are still being filmed.” Spock reminded his husband.  
“Not for a couple of hours,” Jim said as he placed his mouth on Spock’s neck. “Apparently a computer virus just corrupted the video feed and Bones will not 'notice' it until tomorrow morning. As long as I promise to keep my heart rate in the happy range we can have a little fun,” Jim said as he started to undo Spock’s pants. “I can’t do what I want to do, but I can do that thing that Shawn believes is the perfect apology present. You always said I have excellent oral skills.” If Spock was unsure what he meant, the matter was clarified moments later when he found his pants around his ankles and a mouth enveloped his genitalia. James did prove that Shawn’s idea for an apology present also made an adequate anniversary present. Jim's oral skills were, as always, enjoyable.


	10. Interview number 22630511, 22631015, and 22631016k: The Human and Vulcan Court of Public Opinion

Jim can count on one hand the number of times in his marriage that Spock has fallen asleep before him (when they were on the same shift). It rarely happened. Ninety-nine percent of the time, Spock would lie in bed reading reports or doing something else as Jim slept on. This would even happen after vigorous amounts of various sexual activities. If it wasn’t for the fact that Vulcans need significantly less sleep, Jim would be insulted that his husband could stay up to read boring as hell reports after a 3 hour round of sexual gymnastics that left him nearly unconscious.

However, tonight was one of those rare nights where Spock actually fell asleep before him. He would like to tell himself that Spock was asleep because of his 'skills' but he was not that narcissistic (contrary to popular belief). He is sure that some of the sleep is orgasm induced, but he knew most of his husband’s slumber was triggered by pure mental exhaustion. (At the same time, he's pretty sure some of his restlessness is because he didn't get the same release.) Unfortunately, he knows better. The last few days have been too much for both to deal with. Near death experiences were pretty normal in his life (although they are usually not a part of some mass conspiracy). Between the Nero fiasco and Tarsus, he was pretty desensitized to almost dying, as sad as that may be. If you have had as many near death experiences as he has had, they start to lose their effectiveness. When Bones was in psychologist mode, he blamed this for Jim’s recklessness. Jim neglects to tell him that he’s always been like this. Then again, his birth was a near death experience, so who can tell.

However, Spock never handles it very well and it usually results in him having his favorite Vulcan bodyguard camp outside his hospital room. Jim understood because whenever something happened to Spock, it was worse than when it happened to him, and usually he was the one camped outside the hospital room. It slowly destroys him from the inside. Jim was more upset about the fact that this assassination attempt almost got Spock than the fact that he was the main target. This meant that Spock would see it the exact opposite way. He didn't care about what happened to himself, just that Jim was hurt. Jim just knew the entire situation was hurting Spock in a much more profound way than he would ever let on.

Then there was the whole situation with Chris. That was just too complicated to really explain. Jim Kirk was not worried about losing his husband to his former lover. When you had Spock’s love and loyalty, you had it forever unless you did something profoundly stupid to fuck it all up. Fortunately for him, Chris did that and he hasn’t. Spock is never going to be able to trust Chris with anything again, let alone his heart.

Now the problem was that his husband rarely dealt with his inner personal issues. The whole fiasco that happened when they got together is a prime example of that (poor Nyota). The decade that he spent not talking to his father is another example. Hell, Spock was upset that his father didn't change the anniversary present to something they could use, but he didn't say a word. Spock and Chris never talked about what happened. Jim was pretty sure Spock actually thinks they broke up because Chris didn't love him, not because Chris was a complete coward, as was the actual case. Actually, it was more as if they both pretended that it never happened. They tried to act as if they were only ever friends. It was probably easy because only a handful of people knew. Maybe that would be okay if they did not have these little moments where Chris played the overprotective ex-boyfriend or where Spock has a nervous breakdown during the middle of a mission because Chris was in danger (see everything that led up to the Bridge Incident).

The fact that Chris was their boss just made things more complicated. It wasn't possible to stay away from each other. They had no choice but to work together with civility. People can end up dead quickly if they don't.

There was also the fact that Chris was probably the closest thing Jim has ever had to a father, and probably the first person other than Jane that actually believed in him. He still sees him as this, despite the fact that the man has had sex with his husband and was dumb enough to let him get away. Jim wanted to have his father figure in his life. That meant at the very least the two getting along. However, if he had to choose, he would choose Spock, but choosing really was not an option.

As he said earlier, Chris was their boss and that wasn’t going to change soon. Jim has been in management long enough to know that an explosion was about to happen and he was preparing for something that could blow up a planet if his husband’s letter to Chris was any indication. He may have manipulated Spock into writing that particular letter to let off some of his anger, but he wasn't expecting what he got. He should have known better. Any time he refers to Chris as 'Admiral' instead of 'Christopher', the situation was bad. No one can understand Spock's anger better than he can, and his husband was furious.

This is how he read Spock's letter to Chris:

I am unbelievably pissed at you for not telling us that a certain homophobic idiot was trying to have us assassinated. I am actually angry at you for something else but I will focus all my anger on the work-related incident instead of the personal incident. If we’re supposed to be friends now, you could have told me about Shawn, but you did not.

I am not that stupid or an infant, even if sometimes you only see me as that young teenager you first met. I know you better than you think I do. I know you a lot better than you know me. You lost all rights to be protective of me when you decided that I was not worth marrying. It seems that you got over that issue real quick. Fuck you.

PS: Even without your help, we have figured out more evidence to connect admiral you-know-who to what happened. Of course, this is all because I'm married to the most awesome man in the universe, because you are complete moron.

XXX

As he said before, Spock was not happy. Jim was pretty sure Chris can decipher the subtleties of Spock’s anger enough to know that he was angry as hell. This was probably why Chris has not sent an e-mail back yet. He probably knows it’s best to give Spock time to calm down.

However, Jim decided to send his father figure a message from his private account.

From: JimluvSpock4ever

To: Chris2235

Subject: You are a fucking moron

Now that my husband is currently in an orgasm induced sleep from the world's greatest BJ, I thought I would let you know how big of an idiot I think you are. Thanks to you, I am dealing with one very cranky Vulcan in a confined space. If you really thought of me as your son, you would have given me a little bit of a warning about your upcoming nuptials. Spock is okay with you getting married, or as OK as Spock will ever be. He’s absolutely furious over the fact that you didn’t tell him. That shows him that you don't value him at all. I’m pretty sure he spent at least an hour listening to that remake of Somebody I Used to Know that was released last year. That's not a good thing.

He likes to think of you guys as friends now, but this shows him that just isn't true. That there are a lot of unresolved issues that need to be resolved, for my own sanity if nothing else. I just want my husband happy and healthy. Do you want another bridge incident? I don't. I also want you to not have any regrets. What would have happened if they actually succeeded? Both of you have obviously moved on, but as long as you are both in Starfleet, you're going to have to interact. You're like the only admiral that I don't hate (Barnett doesn't count) so I really would like to still be on speaking terms with you. So if you could please apologize for being a prick that would make my marriage so much better.

XXX

He ended the letter and sent it off before his husband might wake up and prevent him from doing it. Chris deserved his full wrath.

Now that that was out of the way, he tried to go to sleep again. It didn’t work. Actually, he was surprised that the tossing and turning did not wake up his husband. His mind was still too restless. He tried everything to slow his mind down from reading boring reports to playing that old school gem game on his PADD. Nothing worked.

Finally, he decided to watch some other video files with headphones on as not to wake up his husband. Spock needed to rest, even if he argued otherwise. The one good thing about this forced confinement was that his husband was finally getting an amount of sleep that was adequate for any sane person. This was probably the most actual rest Spock has gotten during the entire course of their acquaintance.

Jim started by watching the rest of the Chris and Shawn stuff. As he guessed, their file contained the cute fluffy stuff that Jane actually put in the video. It was so saccharine that it could induce cavities. It almost got good when Jane tried to ask him why he broke up with Spock, but the subject was quickly changed. That's when it got fluffy again. It was so sugary sweet that Jim was glad he had distracted Spock with a BJ. Really, nobody wants to see their ex act like that. Even Jim was uncomfortable, and he had barely dated Shawn.

He thought about watching Jane’s file, but he decided to save her for last. He thought of her as the good mom. Anything there would have to be better than anything his biological mom said. She did not even send him an anniversary card, or even a “happy you're not dead” e-mail. At least Sarek sent something, even if it was not something they can use. At least he actually cared about his son in a very screwed up Vulcan way. Sometimes, Jim wonders about Winona. Their relationship was better than it used to be, but considering he ran away from home at 17, there was nowhere to go but up.

The next option was the Sulu video file with girlfriend and best friend. That had potential to be hilarious and Spock would be cranky if he missed that. Besides, he could use some cheering up and Jim seriously doubted that file would contain anything related to the grand conspiracy.

Therefore, he decided to watch the file labeled the human and Vulcan court of public opinion. Of course, as soon as he clicked on the file, Jane’s image was on the screen.

 _"Okay, so if you manage to get to this file, you obviously know what’s going on and you know that it's more than one disgruntled employee and a crazy ex-girlfriend trying to kill you. You know who most likely tried to have you killed as part of his great plan to start some sort of interplanetary war for purposes we are not completely clear on yet. We are still trying to put everything together and I'm not supposed to tell you anything because Chris is being overprotective. But you know me and rules. Besides, Pike is a complete idiot if he expects you to not figure this out. Yes, I let it slip about the wedding on purpose. He should have told you.”_ Jim could not help but roll his eyes. Trust Jane to do something like this. She really was a woman after his own heart. She is also the most manipulative women he has ever met.

 _“Sending you these files was the only thing I could think of to clue you in. I already turned over everything to Starfleet intelligence. However, since they don’t know any of these people, they may not pick up on the subtle clues. Also, most were more shocked about the fact that your husband actually punched someone out than anything else.”_ Jane snorted at that.

Jim tried really hard not to laugh. Hysterical giggling would seriously wake up his husband. It was good to know he wasn’t the only one who saw Starfleet intelligence as being completely incompetent. He lost all faith in the organization after he found out that when Nyota reported a certain Klingon conversation that she intercepted, they paid more attention to her chest than anything she had to say. That act cost literally billions of lives, including his future mother in law.

 _“Anyway, this section contains all the interviews I did with the public about the wedding as well as some things security got from Barbara Sawyer before she got kicked out. I flagged a few things, but you know some of these people better than I would. Maybe you'll come across another disgruntled girlfriend or boyfriend. Anyway, happy viewing and get better soon.”_ That’s when Jane disappeared from the screen and a sub menu appeared. His choices were “the good,” “the bad,” and “the extremely ugly.” Again, he chuckled. Jane was insane sometimes. He decided to start with the bad because he wanted to save the good stuff for later and the ugly should probably be watched when Spock was conscious.

10 minutes into the footage, he thought it should have been titled “the absolutely hilarious and/or completely disturbing.” So far he’s mostly seen Jim Kirk fan girls who were all extremely angry that he was not only gay (mostly) but also getting married. Some were furious that he was getting married to the sexiest Vulcan on the planet and were complaining about how all the hot ones were gay. There were some fan boys to but they were mad for completely different reasons.

The best was Brandy from Berkeley. She was actually wearing a two-sizes too small I heart Jim Kirk T-shirt and crying hysterically. She went through half of box of tissues during the 5 minute interview. It was equally cringe worthy and hysterical simultaneously.

 _“It’s just so unfair. I was going to be the next Mrs. Kirk but that horrible Vulcan took it away from me. We could’ve been so great together,”_ she said while blowing her nose. _“I would be so much better for you. I’m not uptight at all or completely devoid of emotions like that walking computer you’re marrying. I seriously doubt your computer of a future husband would be willing to give you a (expletive) at the movies or anywhere else in public. I would.”_ Oddly enough, she was in the middle of an angry crying jag at this point. He was surprised that he could hear anything between sobs.

Even with the family friendly filter, he had a good idea what she meant. It just makes Jim angry when anybody refered to his husband as a walking computer other than Bones. He would love to find Brandy from Berkeley just so he could let the ignorant girl know that Spock has done that on multiple occasions in various public locations. Actually, there was this one time during the ship movie night in the back of the room. Unfortunately, Nyota caught the couple seconds from completion and couldn’t be around either of them for the next week without breaking into hysterical laughter.

However, Jim wanted a restraining order when Miss Berkeley mentioned the use of a strap on, silk scarves, and handcuffs, all while still crying hysterically. There was something seriously wrong with the girl. Jane seemed completely bewildered. It was as if she didn't know whether to laugh or call the police. The whole thing was made more surreal because Jane had the song Stan playing in the background. That woman had a very twisted sense of humor.

This girl may want to kidnap him to be her sex slave but she did not want to murder him, he hoped. However, Spock was a completely different story. She actually told Jane that she wished Nero would have killed Spock so Jim would still be available. Her words were so cold that it sent a shiver down his spine. Brandy from Berkeley was fucking crazy and quickly went on his alert list. She may not have been part of the conspiracy, but Jim would not be surprised if she tried to kidnap him the next time he was in San Francisco.

He knew from Chris that after saving earth that he received lots of fan mail and the majority of it was of the NC-17 variety that he never read. The only thing that was ever forwarded to him were the cute little hero worship letters from the various adorable children throughout the galaxy who wanted to grow up to be just like him. However, Nyota and Spock have read a few for security reasons. Along with the plethora of marriage proposals, there were other proposals of the very indecent kind. There was this one woman who sent a picture of herself sitting on a replica captain's chair only wearing official regulation boots. This was made more disturbing by the fact she was 75 years old. So really, he shouldn't be that shocked by what he was seeing, but he thought his only stalker was Natalie. He had enough people who wanted to kill him or kidnap him because they hated him, he really didn’t want to worry about those who supposedly loved him doing the same. There were a lot of screwed up people in the Federation. He was so glad Spock didn’t see this because otherwise he would go cave-Vulcan on Brandy from Berkeley.

Jim wasn’t the only one who had his very own fan club of the slightly deranged. There was this one guy who was mad about the wedding because he wanted Spock all to himself. Apparently, the guy had a Vulcan fetish. He wanted to do things to Spock that were so obscene that they were completely edited out by the family friendly filter. Although Jane's expression gave him a good idea what was said. The only words that made it through were handcuffs and chocolate body paint. As he thought before, there were a lot of crazy people in the Federation and many of them were fixated on his husband. Although this one did not want him dead, he just wanted a threesome.

Fortunately, not all of the 'we love Spock fan club' was completely deranged or love sick. His Vulcan was much loved by the under five set of the Vulcan variety. He was their hero. All the little baby Vulcan boys and girls want to be Spock. Unfortunately, he didn’t see many of these video files until he started watching the good section. He was so going to have to show some of these to his husband in the morning. It would be good for him to know that not every Vulcan hated him simply because he was half-human.

The most adorable one of all was located in the bad section mostly because the poor girl’s father was a complete ass. This adorable five-year-old Vulcan girl with big blue eyes said, “I'm going to marry him someday,” as she cuddled with what Jim can only refer to as a vampire teddy bear. Her father looked on in absolute horror. Apparently, he was the one Spock punched out in elementary school for saying nasty things about Amanda. His opinion of inter-species relationships hasn’t changed, even if his younger daughter fortunately did not hold the same prejudices. Despite being five years old, the girl stood up to her daddy and told him not to say stuff like that because prejudice was illogical. His daughter was so adorable that he was going to make Spock send the girl a signed action figure (yes, the Federation did license their likeness) or something. He would probably say yes just for the chance to screw with one of his former bullies.

Unfortunately, that particular Vulcan was not alone in his opinion. The majority of the Vulcans Jane and Barbara Sawyer interviewed over the age of 20 were mostly against their marriage because Spock was not marrying one of his own. Considering the fact that Spock is half-human, James finds that statement the epitome of illogicalness. Thankfully, the younger generation were a lot more intelligent. At least there was hope there.

What Jim found highly ironic was no one on Vulcan objected to the marriage on the grounds that they were a same sex couple (except for one pompous member of the Vulcan council and even then his objection was solely about the reproduction needs of the Vulcan people.) No one cared about Spock being gay, they just wanted him to make more baby Vulcans to build up the population. Apparently, Vulcans were essentially pansexual, therefore, most relationships were based on logic and not silly things like love or what was between your legs. Gender was really not an issue on Vulcan, especially considering that some men can get pregnant with a little scientific intervention.

Although, most of the bad section was filled with lovesick girls and boys, there were also a few homophobic and/or xenophobic rants from the good people of Earth about his marriage. Actually, they were just two. One was from a Barbara Sawyer interview with the lieutenant that accompanied Admiral K to the wedding. She was spouting the same garbage that he does, but she was a little less subversive about it. Jim remembered that she tried to get a position in the linguistics department of Enterprise a couple of months ago but Ny refuse to have her, going so far as to beg Chris not to send her aboard. Apparently, there was some incident where the girl said some nasty things about Gaila after her death, and Jim trusted the judgment of his crew. Who knows what could have happened if he didn’t. That name was instantly put on his list. It was just too suspicious.

The other was an obnoxious red shirt that used to serve on Enterprise before he managed to get himself blown up about two months ago. He would have been off the ship anyway after an incident where he freaked out because Enterprise was negotiating an alliance with a planet that was ruled by king who just happened to have a husband. Fortunately, as the transfer paperwork was going through, the moron got himself killed on the next mission. Of course, that didn’t mean that the guy didn’t do some damage before his death. That name also quickly went on his list for Pike. He also put down the names of anyone he could remember being uncomfortable about that particular mission.

Because he was not feeling sleepy after watching 90 minutes of craziness, he switched to watching the good file. He didn’t feel like watching any more of the slightly deranged. He already knew that footage was about as sleep inducing as a horror film. Actually, old episodes of American Horror Story would have been more sleep inducing, especially because of the hot as hell actor that looked exactly like his husband, so much so that he wondered if the guy was Spock’s great great great uncle or something. He was one of Jim’s first celebrity crushes. Yes, his mom was completely oblivious to the fact he was watching stuff like that at seven years old, let alone that he had a massive crush on a 21st century actor and that was the only reason why he was watching those episodes repeatedly.

There were a lot more clips in the good file than the bad. Actually, there were three times as many. That made him feel better. The majority were actually from Barbara Sawyer which was slightly surprising to everybody including Barbara Sawyer. You could tell that the moment somebody said something nice she would wrinkle her nose a little. Jim guessed that this sort of thing doesn’t generate hits. Maybe that's why she wasn't upset about security confiscating the footage.

None of these people cared that Jim was marrying another guy. Many of these complete strangers were happy that he and Spock found true love. That sentiment was repeated multiple times by the grownups. All the little children, whether human or Vulcan, were much too into hero worship for anything that profound.

The little kids of New Vulcan were not the only ones that were enlightened. There was one Vulcan around Spock’s age who said some very nice things about him. Apparently she went to school with him, but never stood up to any of the bullies. After everything that has happened, she has seen the illogicalness of her actions and now asked for forgiveness. Jim was definitely going to have to show this to Spock later.

Then there was an old Vulcan lady that made Other Spock look like Young Spock by comparison. Jim realized this was Spock’s great great grandmother, who managed to survive the implosion of Vulcan because she was leading a delegation negotiating a treaty off planet when everything went down. She didn’t come to the wedding because she supposedly wasn’t feeling well. Spock thought it was because she didn’t approve of the marriage. Of course, if that was the case, her video file would not have been in this section.

What Jim saw was 20 minutes of reminiscing, including stories about Spock as a baby. There were also lots of stories about Amanda. She was the one who pushed for Sarek to marry the person he really love. She has also been the one so far to tell the Vulcan council to go fuck themselves, in a very Vulcan way. He is so showing this to Spock when he wakes up.

His personal favorite was this old lady from Oakland, who looked like everybody’s favorite Grandmother. “Love is love,” she said when prompted by an overly eager Barbara Sawyer. “It’s usually blind and clueless most of the time. God knows we never really have a choice about who we fall in love with. It just happens. However, when it’s real, it’s the greatest thing in the universe. Why should I care about someone else’s love life?” The reporter that he hated just stood looking at her in complete shock, not sure how to respond. Jim just loved the woman for rendering that crazy reporter speechless.

"At my age, I have learned that the most important thing is to be yourself. If you find someone who loves you for yourself then you will do anything possible to stay with the person. May we all be that lucky. Besides, I think we all saw this coming for the last four years. I know I wasn’t shocked. Nobody goes to that many diplomatic balls with someone who is just a friend.” Jim really liked that woman. He especially liked her because he was finally able to fall asleep.

XXX

Due to the lack of windows or special lights that mimic outdoor light, he had no idea what time it was when he started to feel gentle lips coasting along his jaw line. He loved waking up like this. Judging by the lack of color commentary from a certain southern doctor, the video feed must still be disabled or one of their fan club groupies was on duty and most likely getting off on this. If they were actually on their second honeymoon like they were supposed to be his pants would be around his ankles and Spock treating a certain appendage like a lollipop. Such thoughts were going to have Bones intruding on the couple in minutes.

“As much as I enjoy waking up like this, I remember you made me promise that we would never make a sex tape, intentionally. I’m not sure the camera is still disabled. Also five more minutes and my heart rate will not be in the happy zone,” he says, pulling away even if it’s killing him to do so.

“I would not intentionally do anything to jeopardize your health,” Spock said, readjusting himself.

“I know baby,” he said, giving Spock a gentle kiss on the cheek. Anything more and he wasn’t sure if he could restrain himself. He was currently thinking unsexy thoughts.

"I’m not infant,” Spock said with pure annoyance, an eyebrow raised.

"I know, but I like it when you are pissed off,” he said, quickly making his way to the bathroom. It took longer than usual because he had to think of K in a Speedo before he could actually go. He was sure his normal method to deal with that problem would bring his heart rate out of the happy zone. Honestly, he didn’t feel like having his BFF walk in on him during solo private time. It was bad enough all the times it happened in college during his third year when he started dealing with his sex issues.

"Did you fall asleep working on your PADD again?” his husband asked as soon as he walked back into their bedroom/prison cell.

"What do you mean again?” Jim asked as he went for the pile of fresh clothing that came while they were sleeping. You would think that if they were going to force him into “quarantine” for two weeks, they would at least let him wear something a little more comfortable than a uniform. Is one T-shirt really that much to ask for? Now that is something he should have included in his angry e-mail.

“83.9% of the time you fall asleep when reading reports or doing necessary paperwork in bed, if sexual activities do not occur beforehand.” Now the two have a lot of sex, but due to crazy work schedules and idiot red shirts that get themselves blown up at the worst possible time, most of the sex does not actually happen in their bedroom. Actually, his desk inside his ready room and Spock’s office in his lab seem to be the most common places for such activities. It was so common now that no one considered entering either office if the two were alone in there unless they were being attacked by angry Klingons.

“I doubt that. This is the first time I have ever woken up sleeping on top of the thing,” he said, trying to remember where Spock put his toiletry things. Even in captivity, Spock had to put everything in its place. It was simultaneously cute and annoying.

“I usually place the device on the dresser after you fall asleep.” Really, that doesn’t surprise him. Especially considering the fact that he usually wakes up draped in his favorite blanket.

"Unfortunately, you fell asleep first. Do you want to shower first?” he asked, not wanting to discuss why he didn’t get much sleep

“That is not necessary. I have already showered. I’m surprised you did not suggest that we shower together,” Spock said, giving him his sexy eyebrow wiggle.

“Do you want Bones to bust us up in a Bio suit?” Jim asked, but unfortunately he was unable to stifle a yawn.

"You did not sleep adequately last night." Spock says it as a statement, not a question. He looks worried.

“It’s kind of hard to sleep when you find that your brother is part of a conspiracy to have you killed for the purposes of furthering some xenophobic agenda. Its fine, I think I got about 3 hours,” Jim said as he looked at his PADD for the time. Actually, it was more like barely two hours, but he wasn’t going to tell Spock that.

“That is not adequate sleep for a human recovering from life threatening injuries. You need at least 7 hours of rest at a minimum,” Spock said, practically pushing him back on the bed.

"I was just really tense last night, and unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to take away the tension,” Jim smirked wickedly. Spock knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Pity,”

“I will take a nap later. There’s really not that much we can do in captivity. You can watch the court of public opinion video footage I watched last night during my insomnia,” Jim said, yawning again. “I think I fell asleep during the good part.” At that point, Jim feels a hand pushing him into the bathroom.

“I suggest you take a shower. You’ll feel better afterward.” Jim was unable to argue with that logic, so he did as instructed.

After a shower with real water, he returned to their tiny room to see breakfast on the table. Instead of the most-likely-replicated oatmeal, there’s a plate of fresh fruit, croissants, and cheeses, also known as Spock’s Favorite Breakfast.

“We are actually getting real food again?” Jim said sitting down. Spock was already dressed in a new uniform, looking at the croissants dubiously.

“This is Christopher’s apology present,” Spock said in a supposedly neutral tone. The only good thing was he said “Christopher.” That meant some progress at least.

“Okay, that explains the look,” Jim said, sitting down and grabbing a piece of cheese. He was too exhausted to care where the food came from as long as it was not a gift from K. He seriously doubted Chris would try to poison him.

"So did Chris finely respond to your e-mail yesterday?” Jim asked tentatively.

“He apologized for not telling me about the engagement earlier. He said he was planning to tell me in person. Apparently, we were supposed to have a surprise anniversary party during our second honeymoon,” Spock said, finally picking up one of the croissants.

“That’s plausible.” Although knowing Chris, it was probably an excuse. “What did he say about lying to us about why we are here?” Jim asked as he started eating a croissant.

“He said that we are to rest and not to concern ourselves with the investigation. They have everything under control and do not need any additional assistance.” Jim wanted to laugh at that because it was such a Chris thing to say.

“Does he actually believe either of us will do that?” Jim asked as he grabbed a few pieces melon. If he didn’t eat some of the fruit, Spock would be cranky. Apparently, after a talk with his other self, Jim has been put on a very special diet which meant lots of fruit and lean protein and minimal sugary desserts.

“No, he doesn’t want us to do anything other than review the video files. He says he knows you too well,” Spock said, rolling his eyes. He argued otherwise, but he did that all the time around Jim.

“What did he say to you about the wedding thing?” Jim asked.

“He also says to write your mother. She actually broke down his door,” Spock said, completely avoiding Jim’s question. If he didn’t know Spock so well, he would be annoyed.

“Was he talking about Jane or Winona? I can see Mommy Jane doing that, but not Winona.”

“Winona. She was worried about you. Jane already broke into his office earlier this week according to an e-mail from Nyota.” The last part didn’t surprise him because it was Jane.

“I’m going to need a video file of that because I just don’t believe you. If she really cared, she would have at the very least sent a Happy Anniversary card,” Jim said with sarcasm.

"Did you check your spam folder? During times like these I know you have a tendency to filter all emails,” Spock said, knowing him a little too well.

“Fine, I will check the folder," Jim said, getting up to get his PADD from the bed. “I’m telling you there’s nothing there,” Jim said as he opened the folder, only to eat his words seconds later. There were 35 unread messages from his mother. Of course, the more interesting message was from Pike detailing how they actually had to pull his mom off of Sam. Although, he didn’t exactly explain how she managed to get to Sam in a maximum security Starfleet jail cell. He also reminded Jim not to send those types of emails to anyone but him.

"Okay, so maybe I forgot to allow her emails to come through,” Jim said sheepishly, as he received the look from Spock. “I promise to e-mail her when we’re watching more video files. I think I need something happy,” Jim said, quickly closing the file before Spock can read the whole thing over his shoulder.

“Then I do not recommend watching the file labeled as ugly. It mostly consisted of an interview with K that would have got him fired earlier if it was not confiscated by security. I reviewed this file when you were in the shower. I already sent a message to Christopher about it.”

"Of course you did," Jim said, finishing his croissant. "Do you want to watch the one with Sulu and Chekhov? That should be funny."

"If you wish," Spock said noncommittally. Oh yes his remaining time in captivity was going to be fun.


	11. Interview number 22631016c: Yeoman Janice Rand, Lieutenant Pavel Chekov, and Commander Sulu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there a few allusions to TOS episodes, of course they're altered a little bit to reflect the differences in the two universes. Bonus points to whoever figures out which episodes are being referenced.

If it was not for the vast amounts of sexual activities that had occurred the night before, Spock doubted that he would have received a sufficient amount of rest. Spock was still dealing with thoughts of his former boyfriend. If he were not Vulcan, he would say that he was upset, but only to James. He was the only one Spock would confess such a thing to.

 

He would not tell James this because he would not understand his reasons for such thoughts. Jim would assume that he was upset at Christopher for his decision to marry his current boyfriend and not Spock during their courtship. Contrary to popular assumption, Spock was not angry about this. Actually, Spock did not completely understand the source of his anger except that it had nothing to do with his personal life. Christopher withheld valuable information pertinent to James’ safety. Why was this information withheld? Did Christopher do it to keep Jim and Spock safe?

 

Spock hoped not. He was not Christopher’s responsibility anymore. That was James’ job. Just like it was Spock's job to keep Jim safe. He had not done that. His husband almost died and he was unable to do anything to prevent it. Maybe that was what Spock was most angry about.

 

Due to the situation at hand, he was too restless to sleep past 0500 hours. When he woke up, he placed a kiss to Jim's shoulder. He did not do more than that because he knew James had stayed up later than him, as was evident by the fact that he was currently sleeping on top of his PADD. Normally, Spock would put it on the end table after Jim fell asleep, but the removal of the device would wake up his husband.

 

A quick check of the server showed that his husband had spent a good portion of the night streaming various video files related to the wedding. Spock assumed that James most likely fell asleep before watching the file labeled as ‘ugly’. Because it was so early, Spock decided to watch these files without waking James. He did not watch past the first interview in the ‘ugly’ file. Instead, he sent it straight to Christopher. He was not sure that he wanted to watch anything else after hearing such thinly veiled hatred. How could they have all been so unaware of the true level of this man's loathing towards all things different? Spock was not sure if the man was more xenophobic or homophobic. They both seemed to be interchangeable in this case. He seemed to long for a time that no longer existed, if it had ever existed at all.

 

As much as he did not want to leave James, Spock got up and showered. Despite washing off after the various sexual activities of the night before, he felt very dirty after viewing such material. The desire to clean himself again was overwhelming. Spock wished he could actually have a hot-water shower. James had shown him the benefits of such an indulgence; however, that would not be an efficient use of resources during quarantine. Spock doubted that there are cameras in there and thought they probably could engage in certain activities without being recorded. He would raise the issue once Jim was awake.

 

Spock paused for a moment. Were they really in quarantine? Protective custody seemed to be a more appropriate term for the current situation. Again, why could they not tell him and James the truth instead of going through such subterfuge?

 

He returned to see James still asleep and decided to check his email. Christopher responded with an apology of sorts. Maybe an ‘excuse’ would be a much more accurate description of what he said. Christopher did not explain why he concealed the true severity of the current situation. Nor did he tell Spock why he chose not to tell him about the engagement directly. Instead, he told Spock about the surprise anniversary party that was being planned for him and James and how Christopher was going to do so in person at that event. If it were not for accidentally discovering the original plans for the surprise anniversary party, Spock would completely question the validity of Christopher's claims.

 

He has exactly 93 unread messages in his inbox, although only a few were of importance. The first message was from Ms. Rand, who provided additional information about what she found on board her boyfriend’s ship. The second purpose of this message was to inform her commanding officers that she was getting married and was requesting a transfer so she could be with her husband. James would not be happy with this change, although it was not unexpected. These last few months with Ms. Rand being separated from her boyfriend were less than tolerable for all involved.

 

The second message was from Nyota, confirming some of the things in Christopher's note. It was essentially a situation report containing everything that he wanted to know but was not supposed to. Leonard most likely contacted her. Spock still wondered about the exact nature of their relationship.  They appeared extremely comfortable with each other.

 

Finally, there were 18 separate messages from Mrs. Kirk, including one wishing the couple a happy anniversary. In the rest of the messages she pleaded for her son to actually contact her. Spock would have to talk to James about that as soon as he woke him up.

 

He would like to let James sleep later, but he needed to talk to his husband.  After he woke Jim up in the most pleasant way possible, he regretted that decision. Apparently, his husband had even less sleep then he had originally assumed.

 

When James was in the shower, a robot arrived with their breakfast. Instead of oatmeal or something similar, there were fresh buttered croissants, a variety of fruit, and various spreads. Spock was sure that the croissants were from Christopher. Croissants were always his apology gift of choice. Every time he did something wrong he would always send Spock a box of fine croissants. The last time Spock received a box of croissants from Christopher was when he told Spock that he was not ready for marriage. Obviously, he was ready now with someone else. Spock was tempted to disregard the offering and ask for his usual oatmeal, but he did not do this because Jim enjoyed the pastry as much as he did and loved eating anything that was not replicated. His husband did realize quickly that Spock was looking very upset at the cuisine.

 

Spock enjoyed the fact that Jim could so easily pick up on his moods. Of course, when Jim asked Spock a question that he did not want to answer, he disliked that fact. To avoid this, Spock brought up Jim’s mother, which was obviously an uncomfortable subject for his husband. Jim was convinced that his mother had completely ignored their anniversary and would not do anything like breaking into a secure Starfleet facility to attack her supposedly favorite son for attacking her least favorite child. However, Spock already knew otherwise, having heard the account from two additional sources, including one who was directly involved in said altercation. Jim's expression was one of confusion and irritation. Therefore, Spock did not push the issue when he realized that his assumption was wrong. Instead, he went along with Jim's decision to watch more video files. It was the only thing that Christopher had so graciously allowed them to do.

 

This was another point of contention with Christopher. Spock felt that he should be doing more to catch those responsible for the attempted assassination on his husband. Instead, Spock was locked in this room, unable to do anything. It was disconcerting. It brought back the feelings of hopelessness and uselessness from earlier. The situation reminded him of his youth when he waited for a sandstorm to pass. There was nothing you could do but just stay out-of-the-way.

 

Like some of the previous files, it began again in the reception hall. Judging by what was going on in the background, this interview took place in the middle of the evening. On-screen, Nyota was on the dance floor with Dr. McCoy, once again raising the question of whether they were more than merely friends.

 

He also saw his husband in the background dancing with Jane’s daughter Jamie. Spock saw himself in the distance arguing with his father about some of the guests that they were forced to invite to this wedding. Three had insulted him and his ‘politically unsound’ nuptials before the reception even took place. Spock would have to forward the names to Christopher afterward.

If Spock forced James to contact his mother, he would most likely be forced to contact his father. Jim also most likely would force him to express his irritation at the fact that his father could not be bothered to exchange his anniversary present, despite what he argued otherwise. Maybe Spock could suggest that they participate in the Earth ritual of re-gifting and give it to Mr. Sulu and Ms. Rand as a wedding present.

 

The camera panned back around to Jane. But instead of seeing Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, it was Ms. Rand who was sitting with her. That was when Spock remembered that he forgot to tell James about her upcoming nuptials.

 

“I should mention that Ms. Rand sent both of us an email,” Spock tells his husband as he passed the video file.

 

“Anything good?” Jim asked absently as he went back to eating more fruits that Christopher sent.

 

“In addition to various details that Christopher has kept from us regarding the information that she uncovered, Ms. Rand requested a change of assignment due to her pending marriage.” At that moment, Jim choked on the piece of Apple he was eating.

 

“She tells us she is getting married in an email! I knew I should have actually read her email. When did he propose?” Jim asked once he regained his composure.

 

“That information was not in my letter, but I am sure that it would be in yours. You have always had a relatively close relationship,” Spock said with as close an approximation of a frown that he would ever allow himself.

 

“That's because we're kind of friends. I do have girl friends of the platonic variety. Sometimes you are all BFF with Ny. You don't get to be all jealous Vulcan about that. Actually, you were going to be so noble about it that you were going to give me to her,” Jim said smirking.

 

“That was only when I was under the impression that you were solely heterosexual. I am well aware that you no longer see her in a sexual capacity," Spock argued in his defense.

 

“I'm at least a four on the Kinsey scale on my way to being a five. Now, I only want you. You don't have to worry about Janice anyway, as you just told me she's getting married,” Jim said as he kissed Spock on the cheek. Surprisingly enough, Doctor McCoy did not object. Spock was slightly surprised. Then again, he did allow yesterday’s encounter, so maybe his stance on displays of affection has lessened.

 

“I do not have to worry about Nyota for similar reasons. I believe that she is engaged in a clandestine relationship with Dr. McCoy,” Spock told his husband. Oddly enough, Doctor McCoy did not comment on this.

 

“You think the same thing?” Spock just nodded his head in agreement. “Hey Bones, are you screwing Ny?” Jim yelled out.

 

“Doctor McCoy is not on duty. This is Doctor Key.” This was said by a female voice that neither he nor James recognized.

 

“We might be able to hold hands,” Jim said sarcastically. In high Vulcan Jim said, “Oh my god, it’s a miracle. They somehow managed to get him off duty. Although, I bet it’s one of my fan girls. I’m so glad I stopped you earlier.” Spock silently agreed as he started the video file again.

 

 _“Hi, Jim. Since you are making the extremely cliché move of marrying your first officer and work husband Spock, I thought it would only be appropriate to interview your work wife."_ Jane said with a smile, using a term that Spock was unfamiliar with.

 

“What does that term mean?” Spock asked James.

 

“I think it came from the 21st century. I don't quite understand it either.” James said with a shrug.

 

 _“I am mostly here for Spock. He made my life much easier. He always reminds Jim to actually clear off papers when he is supposed to, and not do stupid things like wait to the absolute last minute to pack for an overnight diplomatic visit,"_ Janice said smiling. James did have a tendency to do that.

 

“At least she's saying mostly nice things about me. I thought that this was supposed to be with Sulu and Chekov.” Jim said, scrunching his nose in puzzlement. Spock said nothing.

 

 _“I should've known something was different about these two. Jim is the second captain I have worked with and he definitely had a very different relationship with his first officer than the last one. Jim and Spock have always argued a lot but they worked really well together. They are always so in sync with each other. I had no idea that most of the arguing was really sexual tension until my third month here when I accidentally walked in on the couple in Jim's quarters for the first time.”_ James had the decency to hide under his pillow in shame at that moment. Spock was trying to repress the memory from his mind but due to the nature of Vulcans, that was impossible.

 

 _“Did you just say first time?”_ She just nodded her head in the affirmative. _“How many times did you walk in on those two?”_ Jane asked laughing. Jim was trying to bury himself under a second pillow.

 

 _“35, I think. I can't even go into the officers dining hall without becoming scarlet.”_ She actually blushed at that.

 

“Oh God, maybe it’s a good thing she’s transferring ships. I didn’t know it was that many times!” James said, finally peaking from underneath the pillows. Spock glared at his husband. Thanks to his constant need for sex, James had convinced Spock to behave in ways that were not always professional.

 

 _“You have to save me from the evil girlfriend.”_ Sulu said as he kissed Ms. Rand on the cheek.

 

“Okay, so that’s why it had this label.” Jim mumbled under breath.

 

 _“You know, it may be a good night to tell your best friend that you despise his girlfriend because she makes inappropriate jokes about your supposed orientation,”_ Janice said, passing a full champagne flute to her boyfriend. _“Does she even know about Audrey at the Academy?"_ Spock was confused by that question. He personally has no acquaintance with anybody by that name.

 

 _“Not a clue, and they are not exactly in the sharing stage of the relationship. They are still in the disgustingly sweet 'kissing everywhere' stage. It is going to be a disaster when she finds out. Mary Sue assumed that because I turned her down that I'm gay, rather then I have too much common sense to be with someone like her,”_ he said, scoffing. Jim stopped video file.

 

“Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that it was Ensign Chayanne Cook that he brought to the wedding. I also think they actually broke up during the wedding. I'm not sure because there were a lot of fights at the wedding. Also, I'm pretty sure she moved on to somebody in the security staff. It may have been Cupcake. I can't remember which girlfriend he brought to the wedding clearly. I don't think he was with Abebi yet and they broke up because of the age difference thing. Also, Stacy is new and well a guy. I'm confused,” Jim said, scratching his head. “I believe you are correct and security was called in to break up the altercation. Sometimes I think it would have been more prudent if we had eloped,” Spock told his husband.

 

“Yeah, but your father would have been mad about it,” Jim said, bringing up the main reason why they did no such thing, even if it would have been more practical.

 

“My father is upset about many things even if he refuses to acknowledge such an emotion,” Spock said as he started the file again.

 

 _“I really think you should tell him that you don't like his girlfriend and the reason why. You know it’s just going to be a disaster if you put it off any longer,”_ Janice prodded her boyfriend.

 

 _“Why should I? You don't like her either. Besides, I think it's against the Best Friend code of honor.”_ Both women just scratched their heads.

 

“ _That's a stupid code. Women always warn their friends when they’re screwing someone who’s a moron. If you don't want to man up, you can help me with this special project with Adm. Barnett’s wife. We are trying to come up with as many humiliating stories as possible about the happy couple.”_

 

 _“You have lots of those. Remember the incident with the ambassador's wife?”_ At that, James disappeared back under the pillows. If he were not Vulcan, Spock would have joined his husband in hiding in shame. Spock remembered that incident a little too well.

 

 

 _“Which incident?”_ Janice asked. _“The one where she managed to grope both of them during a diplomatic dinner or the one where a different wife tried to put an aphrodisiac in their dinner?”_

 

 _“I forgot about the last one. That was hilarious. I was thinking about the first one, and she actually managed to get her hand down Spock’s pants. Also, there was that one time where we ended up on the planet where they forced everybody to make out. I liked that planet,”_ Mr. Sulu said with a smirk.

 

“So did I. Although, I think they were a little shocked that I kissed you instead of Nyota,” James said from under his pillow.

 

 _“I'm sure you did,”_ she said, rolling her eyes. _“Don't forget about the fungus that caused those two to make out on the bridge like randy teenagers, and for you to think that you were a musketeer. I almost transferred ships after that incident.”_

 

 _“Okay, that wasn't as much fun and I wasn't trying to be a musketeer,”_ Sulu said with a frown.

 

 _“You got to be kidding me? And nobody figured it out? I'm surprise Jim still needed me to discreetly send care packages with stuff like this going on,"_ Jane said, still laughing.

 

 _“You're the one who sent those?”_ Jane just nodded her head in agreement. _“I think it was my second week here and I was putting up Jim's packages when I came across an unassuming box that said Jane's Book-of-the-Month club. I was expecting those hardcopy books that he loves so much but never actually had any of his own. Instead, I found something that you get a bride at her bachelorette party. The box contained vibrators, a [expletive] ring, chocolate flavored lubricant, handcuffs, a ball gag, and lots of scarves. I never opened a book-of-the-month box again.”_ Janice was scarlet as she recounted this incident. Neither James nor Spock knew of this previously.

 

 _“That was probably for the best,”_ Jane said, equally flushed.

 

_“The only time I was more embarrassed was when I did walk in on them a few months later and I actually saw the ball gag and giant purple vibrator being used.”_

 

 _“What did you do?”_ her boyfriend asked, laughing hysterically. Spock was green.

 

 _“I ran out of there as fast as possible and emailed Jim about what I needed to talk to him about. I don't think they figured out what happened.”_ Spock was secretly thankful that Doctor McCoy was not on duty.

 

 _“I wasn’t entirely sure what she saw, but I knew she saw something. She wouldn't look at either of us for about two weeks,”_ Jim mumbled from under his hiding place. Spock was very inclined to join him.

 

 _“That was bad, but I had worse,”_ Mr. Sulu said, still laughing quite hard. _“At least you had some sort of warning that the relationship was not platonic before you walked in on the two of them acting like teenagers. I walked in on them in the training room when I still thought they hated each other. I thought they were trying to kill each other until I noticed the missing clothes and the placement of hands.”_

 

 _“Oh my god!”_ Janice said with her mouth opened wide.

 

 _“I caught them in the executive dining hall on one of the tables. It was even worse because the ball gag was being used again."_ Spock’s mouth was actually opened in shock. He knew nothing of these incidents.

 

 _“That explains why you carry bleach wipes sometimes. I thought that was a bit of an assistant thing,”_ Mr. Sulu said to his girlfriend.

 

 _“If we keep talking about all the times that one of us have walked in on the happy couple, we may be here all night,”_ Ms. Rand said sarcastically.

 

 _“Also my family friendly filter might start to go crazy.”_ _Jane joked._

 

“I don't think that family-friendly filter is really working that well. Apparently, it doesn't consider ‘ball gag’ a dirty word,” Jim said, finally looking up again.

 

 _“Okay, let's start with something that has been repeated in these interviews: why do you think everybody assumed that they hated each other?”_ Jane asked.

 

 _“Because I saw Spock try to kill Jim that one time on the bridge. Is your husband going to see this?"_ Mr. Sulu asked, covering his mouth, realizing what he had actually said.

 

 _“He knows all about that. Who do you think made that situation go away?"_ Mrs. Barnett asked, smirking.

 

“Why did you do that?” Spock asked his husband.

 

“I kind of already had a crush on you at the time,” Jim said with a shrug. “I swear it’s the ears.”

 

The three discussed the many reasons why people assumed they hated each other until Mr. Chekhov arrived at the table with his then girlfriend. You could easily tell by facial expressions that no one was happy with the arrival of Ensign Cook. She was currently a member of engineering who had a less-than-excellent reputation. Spock personally disliked her because she made multiple passes at James. Jim was not bothered by this because apparently she did that with everyone, including Mr. Scott. Actually, Spock and Mr. Sulu were the only males on board that she ignored completely. Janice actually rolled her eyes on multiple occasions, especially when according to the subtitles, Mr. Chekov claimed that the dance the couple had just performed had originated in Russia. Only his date believed his false information. What followed was a polite conversation about the wedding with only Ensign Cook disliking any aspect of it.

 

 _“I don't know, I just thought the whole ceremony was weird. I mean most of us don't speak Vulcan, yet half the ceremony was in that language. I just thought it was a little rude,”_ she said, crossing her arms. This caused her boyfriend to frown.

 

 _“Yes, but Mr. Spock is from Vulcan. Of course, he would want to have his ceremony in his mother tongue. When I get married I want to have the ceremony in Russian.”_ Again judging by body language alone, Ensign Cook was not happy with that answer. However, a smile could be seen on Mr. Sulu’s face.

 

 _“But why? Everybody speaks standard now.”_ You could hear the agitation in her voice.

 

“Thank god Ny wasn’t there. She would slap her silly,” Jim mumbled to himself.

 

 _“How long have you been in Starfleet? More importantly where did you grow up?”_ Jane asked, bewildered.

 

 _“I graduated from the Academy about a year ago. Enterprise is my first assignment,”_ Ms. Cook said with a glare, ignoring the second question entirely.

 

 _“Okay, it makes more sense now,”_ Janice mumbled under her breath.

 

 _“Since you were not on Enterprise at the time of the infamous announcement, let me ask you what you perceived, as an outsider?”_ Jane asked quickly, most likely preventing an incident of some sort.

 

“ _I was personally shocked. I'm not that surprised that Mr. Spock is a homosexual, but I was a little surprised that Capt. Kirk was – I mean I always saw him as a James Dean and Alexander the Great type. Not..._ ” She stopped there, most likely not sure how to phrase whatever she wanted to say in a way that will not offend everyone in the room.  Mr. Sulu and Janice gave each other knowing looks as her then boyfriend seemed somewhat mortified. Jane's response was to laugh hysterically.

 

 _“I didn't say anything particularly hilarious,”_ Ms. Cook said with hands-on hips.

 

“Yes, you did. Also, you don't have to be that politically correct with me. I have a good idea what you wanted to say. I know that we try to pretend that we live in this perfect 'we love each other' society, but we don't. We would all be out of a job if that was true. I think it would just be easier on all of us if you came out of the bigotry closet.” Jane said briskly. No one was shocked by her direct speech, except Ms. Cook.

 

 _“I'm not a bigot,”_ Ms. Cook said defensively.

 

 _“Maybe not, maybe you're just an extremely sheltered person. I once had a professor that said everybody is prejudiced; however, it's how we deal with those prejudices that make a difference,”_ Jane said wisely.

 

 _“So what did I say that was so funny?”_ Ms. Cook asked again.

 

 _“Those individuals that you mentioned as the heterosexual male ideal were at the very least bisexual, not that it really matters that much anyway. Therefore your ideas about the heterosexual mystique are flawed at best,”_ Jane said in a kind way. _“I don’t remember hearing that during history class.”_

 

 _“Most high school history classes are very heavily edited for content. Also, I think it's a little ridiculous to be so focused on sexual orientation in this day and age. But you do need to see historical figures for who they really were and not who we wish they were. The only thing you could've said that would have been more ironic was if you had compared their relationship to that of the first FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover and his number two. You did study him in 20th century history right?”_ Jane asked sarcastically.

 

 _“I'm not as sheltered as you think. We did study him. I did think Jim and Spock’s relationship was like that, at least before the marriage proposal and the undying declaration of love. I originally thought that they were just really good friends, just like those two.”_ Everyone but Mr. Chekov was snickering again.

 

 _“History at your school was very censored. Two guys who never date women and spend every moment together are just really good friends?” Sulu said with pure sarcasm. “They go on vacations together, they eat every lunch together, and they’re always with each other. If you look at their wills, everything went to the other guy. Really, you think that under those circumstances they were just friends?"_ She just nodded her head yes.

 

 _“If you don't get it, I'm not going to enlighten you,”_ Jane said with head in hands.

 

 _“We will use Google later. It is a great thing. It was invented in Russia,”_ Chekov said, putting an arm around his girlfriend.

 

“I think he just said that to break the tension,” Jim said with a snicker beside him.

 

 _“How about we just move on? So how did you find out about the happy couple?”_ Mrs. Barnett asked as diplomatically as possible.

 

 _“I walked in on Mr. Spock and the captain in the turbo lift."_ Mr. Sulu was snickering in the back at Mr. Chekov’s words.

 

 _“Your face was priceless,"_ Mr. Sulu said, laughing quite hard.

 

 _“How did you know about that?"_ he said as his face fell. _"You set me up."_ Spock could only understand this part due to the subtitles.

 

 _“More like Jim did. I just helped,”_ Mr. Sulu said, smirking. Spock almost frowned at this.

 

 _“You intentionally had us interrupted during certain activities?”_ he asked his husband in slight irritation.

 

 _“Not really. It's complicated,”_ Jim said nonchalantly, and Spock felt it was best to not go into it right now. Who knew how much longer they would be in ‘protective custody’.

 

 _“If everybody kept walking in on those two, I'm surprised it didn't come out before the wedding announcement. I mean, back where I grew up every girl in high school had a crush on Jim,”_ Ms. Cook explained. Spock found the statement puzzling. Although, not for the fact that schoolgirl adolescents idolized his husband. He was well aware of that.

 

“That statement does not make sense. According to her personnel file, she is 27 years old. She would have been well out a high school by the time of the Battle of Vulcan," Spock explained.

 

“That could've just been an expression, but I know you're going to look at her file again,” his husband said with a sigh.

 

“In light of the current circumstances, it is best to be prudent,” Spock said as he pulled out his own PADD to begin the search.

_“We all knew because we all know the real Jim and Spock and therefore we expected what we saw on some level,”_ Mr. Sulu explained.

 

 _“It was obvious that they were in love with each other,”_ Mr. Chekov added.

 

 _“Everybody else just made excuses to explain what was going on, like we were talking about earlier. You have no idea how many times we all heard things like: ‘that's just a bruise from working out, that's not a hickey,’ ‘Good friends always spend every single breakfast, lunch, and dinner together.’ ‘They just don't date because they're busy,’ and let us not forget my personal favorite, ‘Spock was just helping Jim find his contact lens’,”_ Ms. Rand said with vast amounts of sarcasm.

 

 _“There's no way he's humping Jim in supply closet six,"_ Mr. Sulu added, most likely mimicking unsuspecting crewmembers.

 

 _“It's perfectly normal to give your best friend a back rub in front of everyone,”_ Mr. Chekov added with equal parts sarcasm.

_“We could give more examples of the excuses the entire crew used to explain away what was going on, but they're going to start serving the cake soon,”_ Ms. Rand explained.

 

 _"Why did you give Jim a back rub on the bridge?"_ Sulu asked, turning to his girlfriend.

 

 _“Because Spock would have done what Jim wanted if the puppy dog eyes came out and I wanted Jim to actually concentrate on what he was working on and not give me an excuse five minutes later for private time with the secret boyfriend. The strangest thing about the entire thing was nobody questioned why Jim automatically assumed it was Spock,"_ she said with a quizzical expression.

 

 _"Or the fact that he spends half of every shift looking at Spock's [expletive],"_ Mr. Sulu added with another snicker.

 

 _“Whenever we're doing star mapping, the captain makes a lot of excuses for private meetings with Mr. Spock,”_ Mr. Chekov added.

 

 _"So denial was a normal thing from those who were not in the know?"_ Jane asked.

 

 _"People didn't even catch on during the fungus incident. They were making out on the bridge,"_ Janice said with head in her hands.

 

 _“In defense of our fellow crewmembers, a lot of people were randomly making out,"_ Mr. Chekov added.

 

 _“That wasn't your fault. You were under the influence of whatever the hell that was,”_ Mr. Sulu said simply.

 

“Who exactly did Mr. Chekov kiss?” Spock asked his husband.

 “Sulu,” Jim answered simply.

“Was he not aware of the true nature of the incident?” Spock asked his husband.

 

“That it made you give into your deepest desire? You know we kept that from most of the crew to keep people from freaking out. I just didn't have the heart to tell him.” Jim explained.

 

“So Mr. Sulu is completely oblivious to the fact that his friend has a crush on him?” Spock questioned.

 

“He knows on some level, at the very least, but contrary to popular assumption he is a zero on the Kinsey scale. As much as Pav hates it, he knows it's only going to be friendship. When you really care about someone you'd rather see him/her happy with someone else than miserable alone,” Jim said sadly.

 

“I understand.”

 

“I'm sure you do, considering you tried to give me your ex-girlfriend. I better give him a call whenever they will let us. I'm sure he's not taking that engagement well.” Spock agreed.

 

"His relationship with this Stacy should help."

 

“He's a great guy. He's the chief of security on his new ship,” Jim explained before they returned their attention to the screen.

 

 _“There was a reason why everybody was in denial. We all thought Jim Kirk was straight,”_ Ms. Cook said in everyone’s defense. There was more snide laughter.

 

 _“Why?”_ Her boyfriend asked her confused.

 

The young Ensign tried to explain her position but she just seemed more ignorant.

_“We have an old saying in Russia, ‘I don't care if you're straight as long as you can shoot straight.’_ ” Mr. Chekov explain defensively.

 

“That saying did not originate in Russia,” Spock informed his husband.

 

“99% of the stuff that he attributes to Russia did not originate in Russia. However, I doubt the queen of ignorance would know difference,” Jim said, laughing.  “Right now I’m not even sure how she passed the entrance exam.”

 

 _“I knew that James and Mr. Spock were not heterosexual and I was still surprised to learn of their relationship.”_ Mr. Chekov told the group.

 

 _“That was mostly because you found out by seeing Jim have a hand down Spock's pants,”_ Mr. Sulu said, laughing again.

 

 _“How did you know?”_ Ms. Cook asked with a confused expression.

 

“ _I ran into James multiple times at Purple Hills and most were aware of Mr. Spock's relationship with Mr. Pike.”_ Mr. Chekov explained. _“It was not a well-kept secret.”_ Spock was shocked to hear that and yet the others were nodding in agreement.

 

“I thought it was a very well-kept secret considering I didn't know,” James mumbled under his breath, but Spock could still hear him.  “It would have made my life a hell of a lot easier if I knew.”

 

 _“What were you doing at Purple Hills_?” the young woman questioned.

 

 _“More importantly how did you get in? You have to be at least 18,”_ Janice asked.

_“I was there with my date and they rarely card Starfleet cadets. Early admission at my age is quite rare. As long as I did not try to drink anything it was okay.”_

 

“But why would you take a girl to a gay club?” Ms. Cook asked in confusion.

 

Mrs. Barnett had had enough common sense to stop filming then. However, Spock remembered that a very large argument did break out between the two and security was called in. Of course, security was called in multiple times during the festivities.

 

“Okay, how exactly did she pass the Starfleet entrance exam? I know there’s some logic and reasoning section in there.” Jim asked out loud.

 

“I wonder if she did considering that there is currently nothing on her in the Starfleet database,” Spock said, as he was unable to find the personnel file for somebody who has served on their ship for the last two years. It was as if she was erased from existence.

 

“Wait, let me see that,” Jim said, pulling the device from his husband’s hand. “There is nothing at all. How can that be?” Spock was not sure how to respond. “We need to contact Chris,” Jim said after a moment as he switched to high Vulcan.

 

“That would be most prudent,” Spock replied in the same language just as the room went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The unrequited love thing and oblivious girlfriend in this chapter was for Magpie1600. I couldn’t do exactly what you wanted but I hope you liked what I did.


	12. Interview Number 22631017A and 22631019A: The Barnett family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of But I Thought They Hated Each Other. Thank you to everybody who has read or re-read the story. In addition, thank you to everyone who has giving kudos or left a comment.   
> Thank you to everyone who has worked as a beta on this story, including Teddy Bear, for this chapter.  
> The purpose of the first story was for other people to learn who Jim Kirk really is beyond the bravado and assumptions. This story was about Jim and Spock learning about the people that they call friends and family. It was also an exploration of what those terms really mean.  
> Original A/N December 2012:  
> “I was originally planning to do a third installment all about Spock and Jim and Spock becoming parents. I may still do it if there’s interest but I’m not sure if I want to go back to my stories based off the first movie after the second movie is out. (Though, if the scene of Spock and Nyota making out in the trailer is any indication, I may want to. I almost tossed something at the computer screen the first time I saw it.)  
> I have instituted a five-story limit for how many different projects I can do simultaneously to avoid a situation where I’m doing too many projects at the same time and therefore not really updating anything. So a sequel to the story is not in the cards until at least June (Estimated end date for Starfleet Family Values) if anybody wants to read it. Therefore, I need you to convince me to do the third story.”  
> Updated A/N May 2013 (May contain spoilers for Into Darkness): I'm still on the fence about doing a sequel for this story. However, because I love Pike so much I may want to revisit a universe where he's very much alive. Let me know what you think. However, I will let you know I am doing a sequel to Dear Spock that takes place after a slightly AU version STID were the only thing I plan to really change is the kitten twins thing. It already seemed like Jim and Spock were acting as if they were an old married couple. I don't need to add anything just take a few people away. As it turned out the S/U scene was nothing to really worry about in comparison to the K/S goodness in the film. I said I wasn’t going to do a Dear Spock sequel and I’m doing a Dear Spock sequel. That proves I should never say I will not do a sequel for a story.

Jim Kirk was pissed and he had a headache. He was also covered in bruises and not the fun ‘I just had very rough consensual sex for hours’ bruises. These were ‘I just barely escaped getting killed by a sociopathic former Starfleet Admiral’s secret goons’ bruises. His neck was the worst. Why did everybody enjoy strangling him so much?

 

The doctor that took over for Bones wasn’t really a Doctor. She was basically some secret science experiment funded by K’s cronies and money funneled from Starfleet’s already too tight budget to create the perfect soldier; super strong with a blank mind that can be programmed to be anything needed from a doctor to a spy posing as an engineer who was sleeping her way through the ship. More importantly, they were programmed to be loyal to K not Starfleet. From the dossier that he read, after he was no longer endangered of getting murdered again, it was called Project Doll Soldier because apparently somebody watched too much 21st-century science fiction. Jim suspected that Ensign Cook was one of these considering her existence has been wiped out from the Starfleet database, that fact was later confirmed. Actually, Jim wondered if Captain Cook (no relation) was one of these doll soldiers or whatever the hell they were called. At least, that would explain the guy’s stupidity.

 

Doctor Key was another one of these sleeper soldiers, who unbeknownst to Chris, managed to get herself on the rotation for Jim and Spock watch. Bones refusing to leave his BFF put a serious damper on her plans to kill him and Spock as soon as possible. His little 'gift' to Spock managed to give her time to take over. Thankfully, she only drugged Bones instead of outright killing him. Apparently, K wanted to keep all his friends alive so they could live through the misery of watching him die and being unable to prevent it. K was a sick son of a bitch that way.

 

He and Spock found Bones, relatively unharmed, tied up in a supply closet next to the control room. The security staff wasn’t so lucky. They found several dead as they left the area.

 

Because Key didn’t want to have to deal with getting her ass kicked by Spock, she placed various drugs in their breakfast. Unfortunately, for her, she chose to drug the hazelnut spread. Spock doesn’t like to have chocolate in the morning and just a week before this mess began Jim discovered that he was allergic to hazelnuts. Thank God Bones forgot to add that new allergy to his file. When they started to become suspicious about Ensign Cook she didn’t have time to try drugging Spock and him a second time. That was when the lights went off and the phasers came out.

 

Unfortunately, nobody programmed the super soldier to know that despite being three times as strong as a normal human being and being programmed to know 35 different types of combat, you should probably not engage in direct combat with a Vulcan who is still significantly stronger than you and can outthink you at every turn because he can actually think. Also, you really don’t want to anger said Vulcan by trying to kill his bond mate. That’s just asking to get your ass nerved pinched.

 

So Dr. Key walked into the room guns blazing, this managed to make Spock very cranky and resulted in him getting the phaser out of her hand in about three seconds. She wasn’t aware of this because she was already unconscious by that point. Unfortunately, they were ambushed by a few more of K’s secret Army. Most of the sleepers were in security. They were already at the undisclosed location because Pike decided to put Jim in quarantine at the Starfleet facility near Risa where they were supposed to have their second honeymoon. He felt nobody would think that they would hide Jim and Spock on a vacation planet.

 

Of course, Pike did not count on K’s general paranoia. Apparently, K wasn’t 100% sure that his first assassination attempt would work so getting him killed on vacation and most likely blaming the local inhabitants to start his all-out war was plan B. Getting Jim killed in quarantine and blaming it on a Starfleet insurrection was plan C. Again, nobody was that surprised because K really was that type of son of a bitch.

 

At this point, he had a weapon and his husband was ready for blood. Again, never ever try to kill a Vulcan’s bond mate, it will get you killed. Because they were on a Starbase, backup eventually did arrive. They realized that the medical wing was under siege when one of the security staff members did not check in at his normal time. The whole thing was a bloody mess.

 

Because the Starbase was compromised and nobody knew how many sleeper soldiers K had, they were moved to another undisclosed location on planet. Though, this one has room service and comfy beds with a view of one of the planet’s oceans. They were briefed on Project Doll Soldier before they even left the Starbase. K used his contacts to secure several billion credits for the type of research that was made illegal after the Eugenic wars. It’s amazing what type of budget request one can sneak through after a catastrophe, especially when you blatantly lie about what the money is for.

 

His biologist brother was one of the lead researchers on the project. His mother actually showing up to the undisclosed Starfleet detention facility resulted in Sam spilling everything. She was better than an entire team of trained interrogators.

 

The top-secret dossier made very interesting reading for the trip to the very isolated beach house and he means that as sarcastically as possible. He personally did not want to go into hiding again but apparently the thing about him being on medical leave wasn’t just made up to put him and Spock in protective custody without their consent. It still wasn’t 100% safe for the two to be in the general population. Considering he felt like crap after the type of fight that he used to get into at least twice a week pre-Starfleet, even Jim will acknowledge that he wasn’t exactly in the best condition to deal with brainwashed super soldiers or anything else. Also as he stated earlier, he had a nasty headache and his neck was sore. One of the doll soldiers did manage to hit him upside the head before Spock incapacitated him.

 

So when he saw the bed with silk sheets he had no desire to protest. He was out in seconds.

 

XXX

 

For the second day in a row, Jim woke up to a very horny Vulcan sucking on various appendages. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that appendage.

 

“Are we still being watched?” Jim asked groggily. Because said headache was gone he was interested in fun time with Spock but only if they did not run the risk of making an accidental sex tape.

 

“There are at least 15 security officers within a 2 km perimeter of this location. Chief Security Officer Winslow is currently drinking coffee with Doctor McCoy in the breakfast nook.” Spock explained.

 

“We have a breakfast nook?” Spock nodded his head in agreement as he ran his hand over the bear skin of Jim’s stomach.

 

“Well it looks like our accommodations have improved over the last time. Before your hands go any lower, though are we being filmed?” He asked Spock even though he really wanted that hand to go lower.

 

“No; however, your life signs are still being monitored.” Spock explained as the door to their bedroom was thrown open by good old Bones.

 

“That means that if your horny Vulcan husband plans to do what I know he’s planning to do, I'm going to know about it.” Bones said as he stood in their room. “Keep your damn hands to yourself until Chris lets me have my own house. I still don’t understand why Vulcans get all horny after a near death experience.”

 

“Better than homicidal,” Jim mumbled to himself before turning to Bones.

 

“You seem surprisingly chipper this morning.” Jim said sarcastically as he pulled himself away from his husband.

 

“You wouldn't be chipper if you were drugged and locked in a supply closet for 12 hours.” Bones complained. “My damn neck still hurts.”

 

“You are not dead. You should be more grateful for that.” Jim said, closing his eyes trying not to remember the bodies that he saw yesterday.

 

“Still being alive after one of Jim’s crazy stunts doesn’t shock me anymore. Near Death experiences are becoming normal.” Bones joked.

 

“Too normal,” Spock remarked under breath. That type of behavior was not normal for his husband.

 

“Bones, give us a few minutes to shower and get dressed before you grace us with your snarky presents?” Jim asked trying to get some alone time. “I promise not to molest my husband.”

 

“I would never expect such a thing from you. That’s like asking the sun not to rise. Just try not to overexert yourself and nothing extremely rough or kinky. Don’t even think about giving into your choking fetish. You got strangled enough yesterday.” Bones sounded like a lecturing mother.

 

“I don’t have a choking fetish.” Jim said in mock offense. “Also, it wasn’t my fault big burly guy number three decided to choke me after I successfully disarmed him.”

 

“I need to get out of this place and away from you.” Bones mumbled before leaving the room.

 

“Okay now that we’re alone you can tell me why you’re freaking out Vulcan style?” Jim asked his husband.

 

“I do not freak out.” Spock said giving him eyebrows of doom number 284.

 

“How long have we been together? No, I don’t want the exact numbers.” Jim said just before Spock started to go into encyclopedia mode. “You freak out a lot. What’s bothering you?” Jim asked again this time stroking Spock’s cheek.

 

“You almost died.” Spock said in a whisper.

 

“That has happened a lot with me. I almost died being born.” Jim joked but it fell flat. Spock was obviously not amused.

 

“Okay, no jokes about me dying, but this is kind of normal for me anyway. Why are you so upset? Don’t argue that you’re not upset, because I know you’re upset. I know you better than you know yourself.” He said slightly annoyed.

 

“You almost died.” Spock repeated again.

 

“And?” Jim prompted, because he could not understand why Spock was so upset about this. Jim has almost died on multiple occasions.

 

“You actually died. I felt you die.” Spock was actually trembling. He didn’t even do that when his mother died.

 

“But I’m still here.” He said grabbing Spock’s hand for a kiss.

 

“You died and I could not save you.” He could fill Spock’s emotions through their bond. The last time he felt something this intense from Spock -- actually he never felt something this intense from his Spock. Now, this mimicked the intensity of what he felt during the mind melt with other Spock.

 

“But you did save me.” He said pulling Spock into his arms, as they both lay on the bed. “The doomsday virus/galaxies worst flu vaccine did not work because I’m connected to you. Doctor Key’s, or whatever her name is, assassination attempt didn’t work, because you kicked Doll soldier ass. You saved me.” Jim said burying his head in Spock’s neck.

 

“I do not want to lose you.” Spock’s voice was low and almost as if he was going to cry. Jim answered by placing his lips on Spock’s. They needed this. Jim needed this contact. Spock needed it probably more. It told him that Jim was still here.

 

“I’m not going anywhere. You won’t lose me.” Jim said in reassurance.

 

“Do not promise things that you are unable to keep.” Spock told him again in a whisper.

 

“Never tell me not to do something because I’ll just try to do it anyway. I’m not leaving you without a fight. I love you.” He said again.

 

“I love you too, T'hy'la.” Spock said, kissing him back in a way that resulted in the usual shedding of clothing. This time it was slow with gentle kisses on skin and taking the time to unbutton things instead of ripping clothes off. They rarely did slow anymore, because with their busy schedules, they rarely have the time. But this wasn’t a quickie to take the edge off. This was lovemaking. Actually this was telling Spock that he was still there and would do anything in his power to make sure it stayed that way.

 

Xx

 

“Next time you go against doctor’s orders, make sure you use a gag. We could hear you from in here.” Bones said as Jim exited the master bedroom an hour and a half later after a quick shower taken separately. Jim didn’t trust himself to be around his husband and actual water.

 

“I don’t think we were that loud. Also we did follow orders. You said nothing kinky. Using a gag would have violated that order.” Jim said grabbing a muffin from the table. Bones’ response was to mumble several curse words under his breath.

 

“Just eat your breakfast Jim and shut up.” The doctor groused.

 

“Are you sure this is not poisonous?” He asked before taking a bite.

 

“We’ve tested everything.” Officer Winslow said briskly.

 

“I also tested it to make sure it is Jim Kirk allergy safe, you’ll be fine. Just shut up and eat. You should be happy we left you something after you spent the last hour and a half doing nothing.” Bones said chastising him again.

 

“Hey, I did something.” Jim complained.

 

“Yes, your husband.” Officer Winslow mumbled under his breath.

 

“It was more like sex therapy.” Bones just nodded his head in understanding at his words, but the security officer looked confused. “How much longer are we going to be here?” Jim asked

 

“Until K is arrested for treason or whatever the hell they’re actually charging him with.” Bones complained.

 

“The guy really was an idiot. If you’re going to misappropriate billions of credits for building your own secret army for the purpose of starting an interplanetary war due to your own xenophobia, you really shouldn’t sign the authorization forms yourself.” Jim quipped eating his muffin.

 

Spock finally joined the three for breakfast later. He was more his usual self at that point. By usual self, Jim means that he was asking Officer Winslow half a dozen questions about the current situation. It was enough to make Officer Winslow happy when his shift was over. After Officer Canon took over at lunchtime, Chris called.

 

“I would ask why the hell you put me and Spock in protective custody without telling us, but I know you won’t give me a straight answer.” Jim said giving Chris an all too bright smile. Officer Canon was shocked by his behavior.

 

“Good afternoon to you too James.” Chris said rolling his eyes.

 

“Admiral Pike, the pleasantries are not necessary.” Spock said almost coldly referring to his former lover by his title. That’s Spock for ‘stop fucking with my life you manipulative commitment phobic bastard’.”

 

“You’re still mad at me?” Chris asked looking directly at Spock.

 

“We are both furious with you.” Jim said answering for his husband. “Where the fuck do you get off not telling either of us that some psychopath was trying to kill me and my husband just to set off some grand war?” Again, Officer Canon was shocked at James demeanor with an admiral. Chris was not an admiral in this moment but rather an overprotective father figure.

 

“It was classified.” Chris said crossing his arms. That was Pike for ‘Lord, give me strength.’ He and Spock had some of the same mannerisms.

 

“That is a Bullshit answer. Both Spock and I have the highest security clearance you can have in Starfleet and we had a need to know. When somebody is trying to kill you, you need to know about it.” Jim actually started yelling as Spock grabbed his arm. He doesn’t know why. It’s not like he can punch Pike, even though he really wants to.

 

“Jim you need to calm down.” Bones chastised and Spock looked mildly annoyed. Okay, Spock was giving him his ‘you are embarrassing me, please stop before I consider never having sex with you again’ look. Jim hated that look but not enough to back down, because Chris was being a moron.

 

“I don’t want to. I want to scream and yell because instead of having a second honeymoon with copious amounts of sex, I’ve been in hiding. More importantly, I have no idea why I was in hiding. I hate running away.” Okay, even he realized he was acting like a sullen child right now.

 

“Judging by the bite marks on your neck, I doubt the no sex part of your statement.” Chris said on-screen under breath.

 

“Well, I’m sure you know how much of a biter Spock is.” Jim said with an all too innocent smile. Chris did not look happy and Officer Canon was choking. Good. He will be sending Chris a gift basket every year for the rest of eternity to thank the man for screwing up his relationship with Spock.

 

“Can you to please hold off on this pissing contest until after this briefing?” Officer Canon asked with an irritated sigh, once he regained his composure.

 

“Fine,” Jim said putting his hands across his chest again. “I assume that you now have the moron responsible for this grand conspiracy in custody?”

 

“He was arrested this morning when he made another appearance on the Barbara Sawyer show. She was more than willing to cooperate with us to set a trap for K.” Chris explained.

 

“Probably because she knew her ratings would be through the roof.” Bones mumbled cynically. Jim agreed.

 

“What charges is the man facing?” Spock asked.

 

“At present, embezzlement and possession of a biological weapon. Apparently, he had an entire freezer filled with the mystery virus that almost killed you. We are still working on the other charges. All together around 200 separate charges. He may be the first person to qualify for execution since Kudos.” Chris explained darkly. Just the mention of that name made Jim sick, especially because the Tarsus anniversary was two days earlier.

 

“That should be enough alone. How many people can he kill with that much of the virus?” Jim asked.

 

“In light of the average size of a contemporary refrigerator and assuming an airborne delivery system is used, it would be possible to kill everyone in the San Francisco metropolitan area.” Spock said in the most matter-of-fact voice possible.

 

“Complete sociopath.” Bones said looking disturbed.

 

“I agree with you there.” Chris told the group.

 

“What about my brother?” Jim said, dreading what he was about to hear. Sam may hate him for the most ridiculous reasons in a galaxy but he was still his brother. Deep down, he would always care about Sam.

 

“It’s not good. He worked on the doomsday virus and the Doll Soldier project. We are not even sure how many 'sleeper soldiers' we have in Starfleet at the moment.” Again, his voice was grave.

 

“That is not good.” Jim said with worry.

 

They continue discussing the situation a little bit longer before Jim asked the others to leave the room. Then it was just him, Chris, and Spock.

 

“Okay, now that Bones is hiding in the guest room and our babysitter is doing rounds, you can give me and Spock the real reason why you felt we should be put into protective custody?” Jim asked Chris with hands across his chest once more.

 

“We would also like to know why we were left ignorant of the true gravity of the situation.” Spock added giving Chris eyebrows of death number 182.

 

“I don’t think you realize how bad the situation really was. Jim you were dead and Spock almost followed behind you. You were in no shape to participate in the investigation. If you knew what was going on, I would not have been able to keep you from hurting yourself. One of these days, your overconfidence is going to get you killed and I really don’t want to deal with your grieving husband.” Chris said darkly.

 

“I do not agree with your argument. Just by going through the videos we were able to find evidence linking K to the assassination attempt.” Spock said giving Chris angry glare number 273. The last time Jim saw this expression was when some dumb little girl tried to stick her hand down his pants in front of Spock.

 

“Yes, after you are both breathing on your own and could stand up straight. If Doctor Key tried anything during the first couple of days, you both would have been dead. Secure quarantine was the best option. What I said earlier also applies to you Spock. Don’t overestimate what you can do. You have a lot of people who have your back. You don’t need to do everything on your own.” Jim wanted to make some snide comment about how the doctor was able to get to the couple in their supposedly secured location but Spock gave him the ‘let me talk right now’ glare of death.

 

“We concede your point under those conditions. However, once our health improved to a level where we could defend ourselves if another attack occurred, we should have been informed.” Spock countered.

 

“You were informed. You don’t think I didn’t know what Jane was doing?” Chris asked poignantly.

 

“So you let her tell us about your upcoming nuptials for reasons other than you were too much of a coward to do so?” Jim asked in an, oh so sweet voice.

 

“I really was planning to tell both of you at the anniversary party. I’m talking about the other stuff that she let slip.” Spock’s response was eyebrows of death number 222.

 

“I sincerely doubt that nor do I care. I have known you too long Christopher. You avoid conversations that make you uncomfortable. You often choose not to explain your motivations or actions. Why did you choose the videos as a means for us to discover what was happening?” Spock asked still giving Chris the Vulcan glare of death.

 

“Because I wasn’t sure who we could trust outside of your circle. Even then, I wasn’t even 100% sure. The Russian kid did sleep with one of K’s operatives. I even had my own fiancé go through interrogation. However, Jane I was sure of. That woman sees you as her son and Spock as a very good friend. Hell, she lets her kids call you uncle. I trusted her to tell you what you needed to know in a way that would not alert everyone.” Jim has yet to hear that phrase about Jane seeing him as a son by someone else before and yet he’s always known it. Jane really did see him as her son.

 

“You may have a point.” Jim conceded.

 

“Why were we not told directly?” Spock asked in a matter-of-fact tone. “What was the purpose of the subterfuge?”

 

“Again, we weren’t sure who to trust and anything direct could have been intercepted even with encryption. We were already using the Vulcan encryption system that Commander Uhura came up with instead of standard encryption. I just trusted in Jim’s nature that once he became suspicious he would start looking for the pertinent information. We didn’t anticipate Key.” Okay, Chris knew him a little too well.

 

“Somebody is getting a promotion.” Jim mumbled under breath. He’s not surprised. Nyota was the one who figured out what was going on with cupcake. “I’m still going to be losing her to Special Forces someday.”

 

“Not for a while. We were worried and we had right to be worried considering K had a handful of doll soldiers in place. According to the interrogation, the second assassination attempt was triggered because you were getting too close to the truth.” Chris' anger was very audible in his voice.

 

“That was the thing with the hazelnuts?” Jim asked tentatively.

 

“Yes. How they knew that I always got Spock croissants every time I made a mistake, I will never know.” Now Jim could hear sorrow in Chris’s voice.

 

“Probably because you made a lot of mistakes,” Jim mumbles so low that only Spock can hear him.

 

“The third attempt was triggered when the two of you became suspicious of Ensign Cook. She’s really a 22-year-old from Sacramento with a criminal record that nobody would miss.” That’s when Chris gave them all the messy details about K's secret soldiers program that did not make it into the dossier including the fact that K was egotistical enough to recycle the last names of his operatives. Apparently, the late Captain Cook was another Doll Soldier.

 

“Where did he get the idea for stuff like this?” Jim asked when Chris was done.

 

“21st-century science fiction television,” Pike remarked.

 

“He’s recycling old TV shows for his villainess plans! That’s rich.” Jim scoffed.

 

“What happens now?” Spock asked getting the conversation back on track.

 

“You are to enjoy the next two weeks of your medical leave/second honeymoon at Starfleet expense, complete with guards and Doctor McCoy on standby.” Jim was about to make some snide comment about not being able to enjoy the second honeymoon with Bones living in the same beach house but Spock’s angry glare (for him) prevented Jim from doing so.

 

“Don’t worry Doctor McCoy will be next door with the security detail.” Jim breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“What about the investigation?” Spock asked.

 

“What about my brother?” James asked.

 

“Don’t worry about it. Nyota will brief you in a few days. She has point and I know you trust her implicitly. You don’t have to do everything yourself. Trust in the abilities of those that you have trained.” With that the screen went dead.

 

“Was he this annoying when you guys were dating?” Jim asked his husband in all seriousness

 

“Yes. I find that I prefer your company.”

 

“Good answer.” Jim said kissing his husband again. Okay maybe more than kissing was involved and Bones chose that moment to walk into the room. He continued screaming until Jim told him he was getting his own beach house.

 

XXXX

 

The best part of this honeymoon was the copious amounts of sex, even if Spock was limiting said activities. That was probably the only good thing about the honeymoon/medical leave. They weren’t allowed to order takeout because everybody was paranoid about the food being poisoned including Spock. (Thank God room service was allowed.) Actually, Spock insisted that he taste everything, meaning that this was going to be a very vegetarian vacation and he was so looking forward to a juicy steak.

 

They were not allowed to leave the beach house, not even to actually go to the beach. What’s the point of staying in the beach house when you cannot use the beach? He was so talking Spock into sneaking out there, as soon as they can figure out how to ditch the security team. Between the two they should easily outsmart the 15 guys stationed around their location.

 

There was great shopping on this planet or so his BFF told him when she gave him the non-edited account of what really happened (in ancient high Vulcan of course). Chris left out a few things such as Sarek threatening him with bodily harm, if he doesn’t find who was responsible for the assassination attempt. Apparently, Chris was terrified of his former boyfriend’s father and did not care if he showed it. Also, Jane and his mom managed to get in a fight at Starfleet headquarters. He would love to see that surveillance footage. Ny said she would think of some way to get it.

 

On the upside, they were now allowed more calls from friends and family. Chekov is not that happy that his crush is getting married but he likes Janice, so it is not as horrible as it could have been. However, knowing that he slept with one of K’s special agents proved enough of a distraction to make him forget all about the wedding. He mentioned on multiple occasions the desire to wash himself off with bleach.

 

Spock, finally, agreed to speak with his father. The whole exchange brings a whole new meaning to the term passive aggressive. Of course, Spock doesn’t mention anything about the gift card. Although that’s probably because their safe house was owned by the same company that owns the old San Juan resort and they could use the credits for room service to order food that did not come out of a replicator. Because if they were going to be in protective custody they should at least get something decent to eat. Also, Spock neglected to mention anything Nyota told him regarding his encounter with Chris. Jim would have loved to ask his father-in-law about that but Spock probably wants to avoid anything that could lead to a conversation about why he kept Chris from his father.

 

He does ask Sarek about what he said in the video file.

 

“I have learned long ago that I cannot make you do anything you do not want to do. You received that trait from your mother but also from me. Despite what you may believe I do not hate your husband. If my ignorant colleagues could not get need to leave your mother, I do not see them in succeeding from separating you from your James.” Sarek’s response completely shocks Jim. But then again, a lot of things shock Jim. For example, his father-in-law seemed visibly happy that his son was not dead. Spock may never have a perfectly normal relationship with his father but it was getting better.

 

Of course, to get Spock to actually call his father, Jim had to agree to contact his mother. (He also threw in a BJ to sweeten the deal but he doesn’t consider that a hardship.) Because too much stress is bad for his heart he decides to go with a very simple thank you note for kicking Sam’s ass and for the gift card for the official Starfleet online store. Apparently, his mother is as bad at buying presents as his father-in-law but at least this gift will still be useful.

 

Okay, the video file of his mom going off on Sam in interrogation is his new happy video. He may or may not have hacked into a very high security database where all of the surveillance footage is kept. (He still couldn’t find the fight between his mom and Jane.) Really, he wasn’t doing anything evil. This was really ethical hacking because he found multiple holes in the firewalls. At least, it will be somewhat ethical hacking as soon as he reports what he found (okay, more than likely Spock will make him do it).

 

Now, Jane is somebody that Jim doesn’t get to speak to for a while. He does get to see her. They now have full net access and not just to the Starfleet intranet, which means they get to watch live streams of the local news. A very heavily edited version of what K did was making the rounds. Jane, as the public face of Starfleet was doing at least one press briefing an hour. Personally, he wonders how she can deliver these briefings with a straight face. The shouting match with Barbara Sawyer, on day two of his medical vacation, was the highlight. By the fourth day, Jane finally called.

 

“Oh God, I’m going crazy. Thank God you called.” Jim said when he answered.  “There’s only so much online shopping I can do.”

 

“You get bored very easily. Shouldn’t you still be doing your husband? Why are there so many boxes in the background?” Jane looked behind him. Okay, besides the fact he could do a lot of online shopping from various outlets on the planet there really wasn’t that much to do.

 

“Shopping online, because I’m stuck here. It’s amazing what you can get delivered to the middle of nowhere or an ultra-exclusive resort. Spock is reading various classified briefing papers or possibly meditating by this point. Also, he’s only allowing two hours of sexual activities a day. Bones took the twister game after he walked in on us playing; I need to keep myself entertained.” Despite having very little shame his cheeks were crimson.

 

“I’m assuming clothing was optional and a bottle of lube was involved?” Jane asked raising an eyebrow.

 

“I choose not to answer that question.”

 

“That’s probably for the best.” Jane said with a sigh.

 

“Is there any way you can convince Chris that we can do something other than staying in this house? K is in prison along with my brother and Cupcake.” He asked desperately.

 

“We’re still dealing with the fallout from the Doll Soldier Project. This guy kidnapped people, wiped their minds, gave them a bunch of performance enhancers that have been illegal for decades and placed them on various ships and Starbases. The only thing that is working in our favor was that he kept giving them one of four different last names. I’m surprised we didn’t pick up on the vast influx of cadets name Cook in the last 10 years.” Jane joked.

 

“This wasn’t a new thing?”

 

“No. K wasn’t even the one who started the project. He just took it over.”

 

“Fuck.” He exclaimed because he wasn’t sure what else to say.

 

“That’s what I said. Until we are sure that your crew wasn’t secretly programmed to kill you in your sleep you are on paid vacation. Well at least until Dr McCoy says your 100% recovered for nearly dying. Then you can kick all the bad guy ass you want."

 

“But I can’t do anything now.” He whined.

 

“You sound like Jamie right now when she is sick. Are you sure the problem is that you can’t do your husband right now?"

 

“Possibly,”

 

“What about the games I sent?” Jane asked

 

“I told you Bones took the twister game.”

 

“What about Monopoly?” Just the suggestion sent a shiver down his spine.

 

“I discovered not to play that with Spock during captivity. Amanda used it to teach Spock about money when he was four. It was not pretty.”

 

“Have you tried talking to your husband?” Jane asked with a laugh.

 

“Yes. We have really good communication. He is also no longer freaking out over the fact that I almost died.” Yes, they’ve had several long talks about what happened usually after fun grown up time. Spock was getting to the point where he no longer assumed Jim would disappear at any moment.

 

“That’s an improvement. What about movies?”

 

“I think I’m all movied out. You can only watch the Lion King so many times. We have even watched almost the entire uncensored wedding video footage. Did I mention how truly devious you are?” He said with a wicked smirk.

 

“We needed something that would survive interception. I’m glad you enjoyed the girls’ message to you. Really, I have no idea that they were planning that.” She said smiling.

 

“Actually we didn’t get that far. I think that’s the only one we haven’t seen yet.” He said frowning because that actually sounds interesting.

 

“That means you have something to do.” Jane said a little too cheerily. Okay, now he really wanted to know what the girls said.

 

XXXX

 

After a year of marriage, Spock knew that it was not the most advantageous thing to leave Jim to his own devices. There was an incident involving Jim reprogramming all the replicators to make ‘Big Macs’ that resulted in everyone being forced to consume ration bars for three days due to being bored with a star mapping assignment. Despite knowing this, Spock felt that intense need for meditation, resulting in the need to leave Jim without entertainment or supervision for the afternoon.

 

He did meditate some when Jim was asleep or unconscious during the early parts of their ‘medical’ confinement. It was necessary for his recuperation. In light of his emotional outbursts their first day at the beach house, he knew meditation was necessary. Actually, between prolonged contact with his former significant other, reading the reports regarding what is being referred to as the K conspiracy, and being forced to call his father it was completely necessary.

 

It seemed that K tried to assassinate his husband on more than one occasion. 13 in all, including an incident two years ago at a diplomatic reception where James accidentally consumed strawberry nectar due to a supposed labeling mishap. Now he knew that the incident was anything but an accident. Thankfully, Dr. McCoy convinced him of the need to carry an allergy hypo to all formal diplomatic dinners.

 

What was even more disturbing was that despite his xenophobic philosophy, K was receiving funds from certain factions of the Vulcan Council. Spock is sure that these were the same Vulcans that vehemently protested his marriage on such flimsy grounds. His father gave him this information during their conversation earlier. This knowledge absolutely required him to meditate on the matter.

 

In light of these pertinent facts, Spock is not surprised to see James surrounded by boxes and tissue paper. The room is covered in Halloween candy, Christmas decorations, and silk scarves. Because James is speaking with Jane Barnett on the main com unit, Spock reframes from interrupting. However, he does not wait long because the call is abruptly terminated.

 

“Why is the living room filled with boxes and things for various holiday celebrations?” Spock asked his husband as he walked into what James referred to as the family room.

 

“Some are Anniversary presents.” Jim said sheepishly.

 

“The rest?” Spock asked again.

 

“I may have gone crazy with the resorts online store. I decided to order some things to make the winter festival season actually festive this year. I figure we need to do something to raise morale after Cupcake screwed everybody over and several crewmembers discovered that the engineer they were hooking up with was really a spy for a rogue former Admiral who was trying to take over. Chekhov has taken about 35 showers since he found out what happened. Also, I doubt the crew is happy about spending their supposed shortly being interrogated by Starfleet intelligence and then sequestered.” Jim explained and Spock is not surprised. James always tried very hard to build up the crew. Spock is sure that the events of the last few weeks have left everybody emotionally drained.

 

“Your idea is commendable; however, it may have been best to send everything to the ship instead of to this location which is supposed to stay hidden.” Spock chided.

 

“Yeah, but if I did something like that I would give away our identity. Also, I didn’t like having everything shipped to two addresses. There are a few things in the purple box for later.” Spock quickly looked in the box to find the type of things that usually came in Jim’s ‘Book-of-the-Month club’ shipments.

 

“If I have to clean up the living room by myself, I doubt I will be willing to use anything in the box except for maybe the handcuffs.” Spock said pulling out the handcuffs.

 

“That could be fun.” James said wiggling his eyebrows in a very suggestive way.

 

“They will not be used for the activities you prefer.” Spock said darkly.

 

“You’re in a mood today.” Spock did not respond to Jim’s words. “Fine, I will clean up after we watched Jane’s video. Do you think you would be willing to let me have some popcorn? I doubt Orville Redenbacher is out to get me.” Maybe he has been overprotective with James regarding testing all his food before allowing his husband to consume it. At the very least, he knows his husband desires to order a pepperoni pizza.

 

“I believe I have had enough of watching wedding video files for the perceivable future. However, I would not be averse to letting you order your favorite pizza for lunch.” Spock said moving towards the couch. Of course, he had to remove several boxes from the couch before he was able to sit down.

 

“I’m right there with you but I still would like to know what my surrogate mom said about me. Also she may have implied that the girls did something devious and I know you will want to know what they did. Thank God you’re finally letting me eat something that came from an animal.” Jim said with a very bright smile.

 

XXX

 

Spock placed the order for food through their normal channels before sitting down with James to watch the final video. Spock enjoyed the fact that James placed his head on Spock’s lap.

 

“Okay, I’m comfortable now. You can start the video file.” James said with a suspicious smile.

 

“I believe you only want to watch a video with me so you may use me as a pillow.” Spock said with eyebrows raised.

 

“You maybe freaking out about me almost dying I am freaking out about you almost dying. It doesn’t help that this fiasco coincided with the Tarsus anniversary. I’ve watched a lot of people who died and I don’t think I can survive watching you.” Spock can feel through their bond that James’s words are sincere. His response was to gently kiss his husband.

 

“I feel the same.” He said before starting the video file.

 

As expected he saw the Barnett study on screen. He instantly recognized it from spending numerous Saturday evenings in their teaching Mia or Jamie how to play chess. Now he realized that both shared similarities with James in they’re playing strategy. Although Jamie, Jim’s namesake was much more reckless. She was aptly named.

 

Spock also remembered the room from the many private conversations he had with Jane in there. In the most recent before the wedding, she threatened to cut off his genitalia if he did anything to hurt her baby boy. That same evening he may have engaged in certain sexual activities in the room.

 

He is not surprised to see Jane and her husband in front of the camera. Spock does wonder where Mia and Jamie were.

 

 _“I would wish you and Spock a happy marriage but honestly, I just hope that you continue being the best team in Starfleet. I also wish that Spock continues having the patience to deal with the most reckless individual I have ever seen.”_ Admiral Barnett started. That Spock remembers from the official video but it ended there.

 

 _“I also hope you have the patience to work things out when you begin to wonder why exactly you married this person, especially when she gets drunk and gets in a fist fight at her pseudo son’s wedding_ ”

 

 _“You think you’re being really smart right now? I am so getting you back later. That thing with the candles is not happening anytime soon.”_ Jane told her husband with a frown.

 

 _“In retaliation for what happened yesterday involving my wife and your mother, I thought it was time to turn the camera on her."_ He said with a smile that Spock has only seen on one additional occasion. It was in the video file that James hacked into regarding Mr. K’s termination.

 

 _“You are no fun sometimes.”_ Jane actually said sticking out her tongue.

 

 _“That's not what you said last night.”_ Admiral Barnett said smugly.

 

“I hope this does not turn into a porno. At least if the kids were there, I would have some sort of assertion that wasn't going to happen.” James said grabbing one of the cream throw pillows. Spock mentally echoed James sentiments.

 

“God, you're so mean. And we did nothing last night because I may have been slightly hung over or still feeling the aftereffects of being nerve pinch. It wasn't my fault. I had no idea whatsoever that the punch was spiked.” Jane said in her defense.

 

“I wonder if he knows that she never touched the punch?” James said as he paused the file.

 

“That seems highly improbable. She probably would have been more inebriated considering the high alcohol content of the drink.” Spock responded.

 

“Good point. You saw what it did to Mia. I don’t think I was the only one she threw up on.” James said before starting the file again.

 

“ _That's the only reason why I'm not mad at you. According to your camera, Mr. Scott was the one who doused the punch with high quantities of an unknown alcoholic substance that may or may not be legal. Our 14-year-old is currently upstairs hung over after vomiting on a captain’s shoes. Fortunately, it was Jim so it did not count.”_ He actually laughed at that.

 

“I resent that.” James mumbled under breath.

 

“You would not be offended by such behavior because you have done that on multiple occasions.” Spock chided.

 

“I wasn’t drunk, I was having an allergic reaction.” Jim said in his defense.

 

 _“Don’t forget about what happened to McMillan.”_ Jane said on-screen.

 

 _“She’s still in the hospital. I’m trying to think of an adequate punishment before she gets out and we have to court-martial her for killing the best engineer in Starfleet.”_ Barnett said sternly.

 

“ _Send him back to Delta Vega. According to Jim, he has nightmares about going back to that place. That should satisfy McMillan’s blood lust without causing permanent psychological damage.”_ Jane suggested.

 

“Well at least we know who really sent him back to the ice planet of the Damned.” James mumbled again.

 

“ _That might just be evil enough to keep McMillan from using him as a test subject for new interrogation techniques.”_ Spock personally did not want to know what was involved in such techniques.

 

 _“Let’s get back to the issue at hand, why exactly did you attack Jim's mom?”_ Admiral Barnett asked.

 

 _“Because she's a [expletive].”_ Jane responded with half a smile.

 

 _“Nice try. How long have we been married?”_ He asked raising his eyebrows.

 

 _“Long enough that you know me but not long enough that we have stopped taping sex."_ Mrs. Barnett responded facetiously.

 

“God, I do not need to know that." James said hiding under a pillow again. “I hope to every omnipotent being in the universe that none of those video files ever finds its way to the net.” Spock agreed.

 

 _“After more than two decades, I know when you are lying or at least only giving me a half truth. What you said may very well be true but you and I both know it was more than that.”_ He said crossing his arms.

 

That's when Jane told her husband about that entire encounter with Mrs. Kirk during the official wedding pictures and what happened at the bar from her perspective. At one point she was so angry she was shaking.

 

“ _I know what she said was upsetting but what she thinks doesn’t matter. You are the one that Jim asked to help plan his wedding. You are the one he calls when he and Spock are having problems. You’re the one he calls for advice. The only thing that matters is what Jim believes and you are his mother.”_ He pauses for a moment as he hugs his wife.

 

 _“It wasn’t entirely Winona’s fault. Lord knows back then they didn’t even think to do a psych evaluation after what happened. From what you have told me I’m sure she suffered from severe depression or possibly PTSD. You were there when she could not be and I think that’s why she said what she did. But it’s not true.”_ He reassured her.

 

 _“I didn't save him from Tarsus.”_ Her voice seemed on the verge of tears.

_“But you got him out of there and you brought Kodos to justice. You also got Commander Kirk to come back to earth.”_ He said reassuring his wife.

 

 _“Some days, I wish I did not. He should have stayed with us. I didn’t save him from a mom that was too depressed to take care of him.”_ Again her voice was tinted with sorrow.

 

 _“Yeah, but you were there when he needed you."_ Admiral Barnett said squeezing his wife.

 

 _“No I wasn’t. I didn't save him from Frank. The bastard almost killed him. If I arrived at the farmhouse just an hour later he would be dead. I couldn't even save him from his Brother being an asshole at his own wedding."_ Jane was actually crying at that point.

_“The only thing that could have prevented that was not inviting the bastard to the wedding.”_ He said as he used his fingers to wipe away her tears. _“Why was the bastard invited to the wedding? Actually, why were a lot of those idiots invited to the wedding?”_

 

 _“You know how official Starfleet events are. You have to invite everyone even if you wish some of them were dead. As for Sam specifically, Spock said Jim would regret it if he didn't invite his brother. Unfortunately of the two, Jim is the mature one.”_ She tries to laugh but it’s forced.

 

 _“That's a frightening thought considering some of the things Jim has done over the years including what the idiot did to my car_.” Admiral Barnett complained.

 

“Oh, shit!” Jim whispered beside him.

 

 _“You know about that?”_ Jane asked her husband.

 

_“I didn’t believe you so I checked the security camera in front of the house.”_

 

 _“Yet, you did not try to kill him?”_ Jane questioned her husband.

 

“ _You spending time with him managed to get him to calm the [expletive] down and therefore made the entire admiralty happy. Besides Starfleet paid for me to get a new car so I wasn’t that upset.”_ He explained.

 

 _“Good point. You really do love the replacement car. Why is there a camera outside of our house?”_ She asked.

 

 _“Moronic cadets have been doing stupid things to the one in charge of Starfleet Academy for years. It was installed after a really bad incident during the 20s supposedly involving George Kirk and vast quantities of old-fashioned toilet paper. However, nothing could be proven.”_ The admiral explained.

 

“I would’ve loved to have heard that story.” Jim said wistfully.

 

 _“I’m planning to get a lot of use out of it when the girls start dating.”_ The Admiral joked.

_“They have already started dating. For example, Mia has received three different bonding proposals from various families from the Vulcan colony.”_

 

“Most likely the more progressive families,” Jim mumbled again.

 

 _“At least I don’t have to worry about my daughter’s virtue with Vulcan boys.”_ Obviously, Admiral Barnett was unaware that Spock was usually the one who initiated most sexual encounters with James.

 

 _“I didn’t say they were all boys. One was a girl. The Vulcan language doesn’t even have words that refer to sexual orientation.”_ Admiral Barnett seemed shocked at but Jane seemed unaffected.

 

 _“Why can’t they stay little forever?”_ The Admiral said wistfully.

 

 _“I’ve already married off my oldest child to a good one, so there’s hope. Yes, Spock you are a good one. I’ve always liked you. Despite the fact that Chris is one of my oldest friends, I always thought that you were too good for him. You deserved someone who was never afraid to be seen with you. Who would shout from the rooftops or during a live stream to the entire Federation that he completely adores you, Jim loves you. He loves you, imperfections and all. Real marriage is not a fairytale. There is no happily ever after. It is hard work and tears. There are days when I literally want to smack my husband upside the head. But then I realize that I would be absolutely miserable without him.”_ Mrs. Barnett explained with half a smile.

 

 _“I agree with my wife. There are days when I’m not sure how we survived two decades but I’m happy we did. She may not look the same way she did when we first met but I can’t picture my life without her even if she embarrasses me by getting into a physical altercation at your wedding.”_ Admiral Barnett added.

 

 _“I’m sorry, okay.”_ She said kissing him that’s when the video went black.

 

“Oh thank God it ended there. I really don’t want to know what happened next.” Jim said with a shiver.

 

“I agree.” Spock said as another file started playing.

 

This time it was the Barnett girls in Jamie’s room. This room was filled with various Starfleet paraphernalia including a replica of Enterprise. Unlike her sister, Jamie wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps. Due to her high test scores she will be starting Starfleet Academy two years early.

 

 _“Hi, big brother.”_ Jim’s face lit up at those words from both girls.

 

 _“Since mom is going around asking everyone but us about what they think about your marriage Mia and I have decided that we should have a say.”_ Jamie told the camera.

 

 _“Yes, apparently, those under the age of 18 have nothing to contribute, so she forgot to interview us. Parents, they really don't understand.”_ Mia interjected.

 

 _“Really, we have the best embarrassing stories. For example Jimmy, we referred to your future husband as Uncle Spoke until we were in elementary school.”_ Jamie said still grinning.

 

“Actually, I was seven.” Mia said with a pout.

 

 _“You were always a little slow.”_ Jamie said and Mia responded by hitting her with a pillow, making James smile.

 

“ _You are so mean. We also have great dating stories about her favorite big brother. During his last year at the Academy, he gave me 50 credits to pretend to be his daughter so he could impress this single father. I had so much fun pretending to be my big brother's daughter.”_ Mia said grinning.

 

“I would like to hear more about this story?” Spock asked as he pause the file.

 

“It was a long time ago in between my blatant slut phase and my ‘I am trying to be a serious Starfleet Captain’ phase. It didn't work out. It turns out he was more of a closet case than your ex-boyfriend." James sounded quite bitter therefore Spock felt it was advantageous not to press the issue with his husband.

 

“I am not even entirely sure that is statistically possible.” Spock mumbled under his breath in an effort to break the tension.

 

“You're joking. That means you're doing better. I assume that you actually meditated instead of reading more classified briefing papers about the grand K conspiracy?" James asked happily.

 

"I felt meditation was more advantageous for my general mental health.  Actually, watching one of those bloody horror shows that you like where one of the serial killers looks suspiciously like me is more advantageous for my mental health.” Spock added in all seriousness.

 

“It was just the second season and if you keep up like this, I'm going to start to think that you got into the Halloween candy that Chekov sent.” James joked.

 

“I may have had a few of the chocolate pumpkin cheesecake truffles.” Spock said truthfully.  
“I did have to call my father today.”

 

“Good point.” James said as he started the file again.

 

“ _Unfortunately, single father guy was a [expletive].”_ Mia explained.

 

“That’s when we decided that it was best for us to find someone who really deserved our favorite big brother.” Jamie explained.

 

“At the same time our favorite ‘uncle’ was just dumped by Chris.” Maya said smiling.

 

“Don’t get us wrong, we love Chris. He’s a great babysitter.” Jamie said with a laugh.

 

“That was because he allowed both girls to eat whatever they wanted including vast quantities of sugar and pizza. At least, you force the girls to eat a vegetable.” Spock added darkly remembering babysitting duty. The girls managed to break several priceless family heirlooms. Despite the experience, he was not opposed to having children someday.

 

“ _However, let’s be honest he was a moron. Spock we love you. You’re absolutely wonderful. You never talk down to us or treated us like little kids.”_ Jamie continued.

 

“ _You always respected our intelligence and saw us as individuals not the admiral’s children. You have no idea how many cadets kiss our [expletive] just because of who our dad is. Actually, you have no idea how many cadets and others kissed our [expletive] because of our mom.”_ Mia frowned as she spoke.

 

 _“You were always real with us and we’d like that. You also deserve someone better than Chris. He was terrified that you would want more than him and he wasn’t ready to give you more.”_ Jamie said sadly.

 

 _“We know you were in a lot of pain after everything went down.”_ Mia added.

 

“ _So much that you actually dated a girl.”_ Jamie interjected with a snicker.

 

 _“That’s when we decided to set you guys up. We knew you two were perfect for each other.”_ Again Mia was smiling as she spoke.

 

_“You both love chess, computers and are married to Starfleet.”_

 

 _“You also both hate fake people and the overly pretentious.”_ Mia said interrupting her sister.

_“We were already making plans to invite both of you over for dinner or rather convince her mom to do so.”_ Jamie said causing Spock to remember several emails he received from the girls around that time asking him to come over.

 

_“Then our favorite big brother you had to be a moron because you can’t take losing.”_

 

 _“Actually, I think it was daddy issues but we won’t go there. This is supposed to be a happy video.”_ Jamie said with a snicker.

 

_“Anyway, as I was saying before my sister interrupted me, you just had to be an idiot and hack into the Kobayashi Maru, Jim. Thus resulting in you almost killing each other on the floor at the Academy.”_

 

 _“Actually, I thought it was flirting or violent foreplay. You saw the video file. You did notice the eye [expletive]?”_ Jamie interrupted again, causing James to 'freak out'.

 

“She’s too young to be talking about that sort of thing. She’s a baby.”

 

“When did you lose your virginity?” Spock asked in defense of the girls.

 

“It wasn’t consensual, so it doesn’t count. I didn’t have ‘real’ sex again until Nikki and I were 17. Yes I’m not counting the other things that I did that led my mom to believe that I was the neighborhood slut.” James said slightly annoyed.

 

“I did not mean to bring up such a painful memory I was merely reminding you that you cannot judge people by a different standard than that of which you hold yourself to.” Spock tried to explain but James was still upset.

 

“Let’s just go back to watching the girls.” He said restarting the file.

 

 _“So unfortunately, you two were at each other’s throats and well we all heard what happened on the bridge. Jamie found the unedited footage."_ Mia explained.

 

“I thought you only taught Mia how to break into computers?” Spock asked his husband.

 

“It’s an important skill to learn,” James said with a shrug.

 

“ _So we thought we lost all hope of getting our favorite brother someone who’s not a [expletive].”_ Jamie started.

 

“ _Yet, somehow you two managed to surprise us. Unfortunately, we are scarred for life for watching the video file of when Mr. Chekov found out that you two were together.”_ Mia finished.

 

 _“Really, we should never break into our mom’s personal email.”_ Jamie told the camera with a shiver.

 

 _“Yes, that was a bad idea.”_ Mia was also shivering.

 

 _“And if what we saw at the wedding was any indication we know that you will be happy for a very long time.”_ Jamie said regaining her composure.

 

 _“So we want to say we love you Jim. You’re our favorite brother. And just remember even though Sam is an absolute bastard, we will always be your sisters.”_ Mia told him but Jamie was nodding in agreement.

 

 _“Although, we’re really looking forward to being aunts and we know Uncle Spock, you have the power."_ Spock was slightly disturbed by Jamie’s words.

 

 _"Now it's time for our next great scheme, getting Chris to pop the question to our new Uncle Shawn.  This may take a while."_ Mia said with a sigh.

 

 _"Or a miracle,"_ Jamie interjected. That’s when the video file stopped. James was crying at that point.

 

“Are you okay?” Spock asked his husband.

 

“I thought you hated that word.” Jim said with a sniffle.

 

“Your human colloquialisms have rubbed off on me.” James smirked at his words.

 

“I’m touched. Though my biological family is beyond fucked up, I have all these people that love me. Even Chris in a very overprotective crazy way. I have sisters and brothers and even a mom figure who adores me. Most of all, I have you.” He said placing a kiss on Spock’s mouth.

 

“I hope we will be able to give your surrogate sisters’ a niece or nephew soon.” Spock said returning James kiss with equal vigor.

 

“So when exactly do you enter your special time?” James asked between kisses

 

“Theoretically in 2.8 years. However, I am not opposed to practicing right now.”

 

“Practice is good.” Unfortunately, 10 minutes later when both were deeply involved in said ‘practice’ Doctor McCoy walked into the living room with their pizza.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you want to see the third part of the trilogy tentatively titled But I Thought Guys Couldn’t Get Pregnant? Let me know.


End file.
